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    angelica1999's Avatar
    angelica1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 12, 2008, 07:04 PM
    Anal sex
    Why my husbend ask for anal sex all time
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Mar 12, 2008, 07:22 PM
    He likes the feel of the viberator ?
    Sure he needs to feel what it is like? If he expects you, he should not object should he?
    angelica1999's Avatar
    angelica1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Mar 13, 2008, 09:26 AM
    Thank you for comments but really don't get it what mean if he expects me he should not object thank you
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #4

    Mar 13, 2008, 09:34 AM
    It is a play on words, I doubt if he had to do the anal sex he would be as fast to think it was a good idea, but then different things floats everyone's boat.

    But it may be different feel, a matter of control, something he was told in early life is a goal. His reason is his reason, why not ask, couples should be free to talk about their sexual interest
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #5

    Mar 13, 2008, 12:25 PM
    Is he wanting you to do him or is he wanting to do you...

    Many women (and I guess some guys as well if that floats their boat) not only like it but grow to love it if he's gentle enough while you learn to control what was basically involuntarily controlled mussels.

    You can't just jump into it will both feet so to speak.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #6

    Mar 13, 2008, 12:47 PM
    A lot of men get the idea of anal sex from porn. There are many porno's out there that glorify anal penetration and if a man gets this in his head then sometimes he wants to try it. I mean, the women in the porns like it so why shouldn't his woman?! I also think that to some men it's so much safer, as a woman can't really get pregnant from anal sex. It's also risqué (sp?---as in something not everyone does) so it's kind of uncharted territory. I have been with my husband for 6 years and he asks me all the time and I tell him it's not something I'm into. He understands.

    Back during the Greek and Roman times anal sex was rampant. Between men and boys, men and women, it really didn't matter. It's not all a new thing, it goes way back. Spartan warriors would have anal sex with the little boys that were recruited for the army. This was seen as a way to get close to their fellow warriors. The closer you are to your fellow warriors, the more "together" things will be on the battle field.

    Anal sex is not easily attainable. The man MUST go very slow and lube must be used. This is not a hole that things are used to going IN to. Those muscles are going to need to be relaxed before anything can happen.

    You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do or don't believe in. Talk with him about it and let him know how you feel. If you are considering it, talk it over together about how to do it, and maybe do some research on what to do and not to do.

    Also, there are many health risks associated with anal sex. I think you should be aware of them. Aids can be passed through this kind of sex. Many other diseases as well. You also don't want to go from anal to vaginal without cleaning because infections can arise.

    I guess in short I am trying to say that ultimately if you want to do it it's your choice, it's not painless by ANY means and it's also not safer than vaginal (minus the pregnancy thing). Make sure you use something to suction all the "stuff" out before penetration. Use a condom to help avoid infections and diseases but be aware that protection can't completely prevent anything. If you don't like it, don't do it.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Mar 13, 2008, 01:14 PM
    Well in this particular case it's a man and wife... assuming neither is fooling around or has something then there is nothing to give the others...

    Once she (or he) learns the mussel control use enough lube and start easy and slow then yes it can be totally painless. It doesn't have to hurt.

    If you do it no less than an hour after a complete bowel movement, or up to 2 hours after there won't be any surprises. Use a condom if there either of you has issues...

    And of course like was mentioned... once you move to the butt, you might as well finish up there as you don't want a nasty infection from displaced bacteria...


    Don't want to scare he from something she might grow to enjoy once she learns to do it right. But do it only after you are ready... a good rule of thumb. Start with fingers... one at the beginning then two... when you get to three you can deal with the average guys penis. If he bears a strong resemblance to the late John Holmes... then that's a whole different thing.


    If you aren't married then you really don't know where they have been for the last several years then it is risky as it's the easiest way to get AIDS from someone that you really don't know as well as you should before being intimate.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #8

    Mar 13, 2008, 02:10 PM
    I just wanted to make her aware of all the issues. Hopefully she can make her husband aware too if he is not already. Once you get used to it, it won't be painful... but there is a LOT of pain initially. Smoothy makes good points as do I. Just be careful and talk it through thoroughly.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #9

    Mar 13, 2008, 05:37 PM
    Angelica,

    Being the recipipent of a penis in your rectum is something you *DON'T HAVE TO DO*. It just isn't healthy, mentally or physically.

    He should be looking for ways to **PLEASE** you, not for ways to experiment his favorite porn positions on his life partner! There are plenty of other enjoyable ways to express sexuality...
    angelica1999's Avatar
    angelica1999 Posts: 10, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Mar 13, 2008, 08:11 PM
    Thank you for all comments he did it one time for his joy only not mine its something I don't feel comfortable and its lots of pain I refuse it at first than he said just to try for 1 time than he keept asking for it .
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #11

    Mar 13, 2008, 08:56 PM
    You should never let him talk you into doing something you are not comfortable with. When he asks again tell him you didn't like it and you aren't going to do it. He'll probably keep asking. But don't let him ask as he's sliding his penis in!
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #12

    Mar 13, 2008, 09:09 PM
    Angelica--

    Tell him you'll let him have anal with you again AFTER you get to give HIM anal--with him receiving--with a strap-on. If he wants to go there, he has to be willing to take it there.

    If he's not, then tell him to quit asking.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #13

    Mar 14, 2008, 08:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by angelica1999
    thank you for all comments he did it one time for his joy only not mine its some thing i dont feel comfortable and its lots of pain i refuse it at first than he said just to try for 1 time than he keept asking for it .
    He definitely need to learn self restraint as if it hurts he went too fast. He didn't give you time to get ready, he can't dive right in... you have to effectively warm up (loosen up) prior to going at it.

    If he can't or won't do that for your benefit then I can understand your reluctance.

    I'm not kidding here but get a dildo the size of his... and say yours first... perhaps that's what it will take for him to understand when you say slow down.

    That will get him to understand the concept of slow and easy if he won't listen.
    Foxyarse's Avatar
    Foxyarse Posts: 41, Reputation: 4
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    #14

    Mar 19, 2008, 04:55 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by angelica1999
    why my husbend ask for anal sex all time
    Your husband is a low life. Anal sex can cause injury-it is also immoral.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #15

    Mar 19, 2008, 05:24 PM
    Look.

    While your views, from your religious point of view, are valid--this is NOT a religious board.

    This board is about adult sexuality, in ALL of its forms.

    Anal sex is enjoyed by many couples regularly, without injury.

    If YOU don't want to do it--no one is forcing you--but don't tell anyone else what to do in THEIR bedroom.

    In the case of the OP--telling her that her husband is scum isn't going to HELP her. We are here to give HELPFUL advice.

    Take discussion about the "immorality" of anal sex to the religious boards, please. It will not be tolerated here.
    kraz's Avatar
    kraz Posts: 57, Reputation: 6
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    #16

    Mar 20, 2008, 03:06 AM
    He probably asks because he wants to try something different in your sex life.

    I find being on top (straddling my husband) I have control over how fast, deep the penetration goes and hard the thrusts are. Remember, relax, lots of lubrication (Astroglide, Eros, Doc Johnson’s Spike, Anal Lube and K-Y Jelly) and a condom!! (vaseline and oil based lubs can damage the condom)

    But ONLY if you want, do not let him pressure you. And as the other contributors have said buy a dildo or vibrator and ask him to participate equally.
    whyohwhy's Avatar
    whyohwhy Posts: 60, Reputation: 8
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    #17

    Mar 20, 2008, 03:51 PM
    I love that this is being discussed. I have faced this issue with every serious relationship that I have been in. My butt hurts just thinking about it ;)
    hajt70's Avatar
    hajt70 Posts: 55, Reputation: 3
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    #18

    Mar 20, 2008, 05:14 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by whyohwhy
    I love that this is being discussed. I have faced this issue with every serious relationship that I have been in. My butt hurts just thinking about it ;)
    LOL...
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #19

    Mar 21, 2008, 05:09 AM
    Like I have always said... if it hurts, you aren't doing it right.
    excon's Avatar
    excon Posts: 21,482, Reputation: 2992
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    #20

    Mar 21, 2008, 06:09 AM
    Hello, again:

    Here's how you do it RIGHT! In the first place, you don't ask for it. You train her to want it.

    I've always got my hand involved in whatever I'm doing anyway... I'm on top. I'm reaching around and under her to check out the action. As I move around, my hand and fingers naturally slide over her anus. I linger for a moment just resting my finger there. Then, as I'm slowly thrusting, I use my finger to run around the rim of her anus. After a few times of this, I slowly insert just the tip of my finger in. Of course, it's wet and my finger slips in easily. A little later in the relationship, I find my finger embedded deep and she's begging for it. Of course, things progress from there.

    The thing about this, is that it's VERY, VERY mutual... And, it isn't something that happens in a night. It doesn't happen in a week. Nor, should it. But, when it does, it's gooooooood.

    excon

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