[toniluv87]

This is my story... I have known my now boyfriend and baby father since 9th grade. We didn't get to together until I was 22 ,like every young relationship it was like a dream in the first three months. We moved in together than three months later we break up two weeks later we're back together one month later I get pregnant. We break up when I was four months pregnant.we just got back together and our son is nine months,now my problem is we have always had a healthy sex life even when we wasn't together when I was pregnant... Even when aunt Flo came to town( sorry guys) we did it everywhere and anywhere we could. When we got back together this time we were getting it in like three times a day he didn't even care if our son was sleep. But lately these days I feel like I have to beg him he doesn't even want me to suck him off anymore! Like tonight we were watch TV and he asked me if I could give him some room because he has blue balls What! So I know he still wants me but I Snyder know why he just won't f*** me!

[indya]

Well looks like he only wanted you for sex, and now that the novelty of having sex with you has died down, he's not interested in you anymore.

Is the rest of the relation, apart from your sex life, healthy and stable? If not. I feel he's lost interest in you, and you should move on, to give your son a good future.

[joypulv]

My suggestion is to give him some space. Something is going on - who knows, anything from regret over being a dad and not out with buddies more and having enough money, to just losing interest or having a drop in testosterone. Do you cuddle when you are in bed, or do you think everything leads to intercourse? Some people don't want sex every time they touch.
Then, after a month or so, cautiously ask him if he will talk about it. Don't act angry or frustrated or say you feel unattractive this way, just wait to see if he will talk. If he won't, you can then say you feel sort of hurt and unattractive. But still, keep it gentle.

[toniluv87]

Yaw both make a good point, last night in bed he started to rub my butt than he just stopped.so I ask him what's wrong do u feel like we are moving fast again he said yes because he is falling in love with me again and he wants to see if it's more than sex.




Other than sex he is like my best friend. We watch movie's together we take turns cooking at night when our son is sleep we have movie night and we cuddle up on the sofa and eat popcorn every thing is good until we go to bed he is at one end and I'm at the other.and to add stress he just lost his job and he has two kids n bills so I really don't demand sex.. and sex is not ever thing to me I just don't like the rejected feeling he has never turned me down,normally he is begging me!

[toniluv87]

And I don't feel unwanted I'm just worried about our future. I know he wants me,I can't kiss him without him getting a hard on when we did kiss we kiss with so much passion his ears turn red. What's the problem?

[CravenMorhead]

What I am concerned about here is that he will follow his past record. He's broken up with you twice and have gotten together twice.

Why did you take those two breaks? What caused the split?

There are a few things that are red flags to be but I want to know more firs.t

[toniluv87]

Stupid things we both lack trust in our relationship.but we just had a short conversation... he said it's because he has a lot on his mind and he doesn't want to have sex because he don't feel like he is on his a game he is really not into it at this point I don't know what to believe

[WisperWill70]

For starters, he's made the leap in his mind that sex with you now equals a more serious level of relationship so he's not as eager to jump as he was when you were in the 9th grade... times are different. You're new parents and you have a nine month old baby to feed, clothe, educate and protect and who is now in its most vulnerable (and loud?) state of being ;) That in and of itself sometimes does wonky things to the sex dynamic of a relationship. Since you got together at a young age you also didn't get to work out all of your "Trust Issue" hurdles and relationship dynamics before baby came along. (break-ups and make-ups) and that combines with the stress of how there is a lot more on the line financially and a whole lot more STRESS for both of you. Is this his first and only child?

Sometimes a guy feels differently about the mother of his children after she gives birth and he has a totally new "life"... sometimes it goes back to normal quickly but it can take awhile to wrap your mind around the fact that the girl you used to have lots of hot sex with is now "MOM" to your child. It can be something that makes a guy feel strange. All the way from guilty to "oh no what if it happens again" (Even if he LOVES you and the little bean 100)

There's a mental shift that happens there and sometimes it just takes awhile to work it out sexually. (plus there are body and life changes too). He may be simply dealing with a lot more stress and a much bigger and different world view as a new dad. This could be a good thing!
After all, you're not kids anymore and while fun time is changing -- maybe a lot of positive maturity is entering the picture for him too.

It's not as if he doesn't want you -- he's just sorting things out. Give him some time and space and keep communicating and talking. Take the pressure off the sex topic.

[JudyKayTee]

I think you're confusing love and sex. The fact that he reacts when you kiss him does not mean he loves you, wants to be a relationship, won't leave again.

I'd be very cautious.

[smoothy]

Exactly like Judy just said... if those are his words then he lacks the basic maturity to understand these things.

"Falling in love with you again" has absolutely NOTHING to do with the reality of "he's getting horny again".

[WisperWill70]

Hold the phone -- just saw "Two kids" in there in a subsequent reply by the OP. If this ISN'T his first kid then what I said about him feeling the pull of responsibility and seriousness instead of just "fun" times of old could be even MORE true... Did he get you pregnant the first time in 9th grade (assuming he's the same age as you)? Is the other kid someone else's? There's some missing info there.

He may like you, care about you and be turned on but that doesn't mean that he wants to put his full commitment into the relationship -- he might have not only big stresses (lost the job, has financial strain, new dad issues) he might have some other issues brewin' that are way bigger than just the sex issue. A lot of guys don't know what they want at a young age and feel that pull of sorting themselves out and exploring the world.. and if he's complicating matters by having KIDS (more than one already) as well... it may make it even harder for him to cross those relationship hurdles.

[toniluv87]

At this point I'm over it, I can't live my life for him anymore I have a child to think about it's just not about us anymore .I have one child he has two so I'm just going to step back and this time when he says let work it out I'm not going to be so needy n say yes because I'm tried and our son is now at the stage where he notices things

[toniluv87]

No he has a little girl with his middle school sweet heart and I'm older than him by a year we went to a school k-12 grade