My girlfreind used to get raped by here ex boyfreind. There relatoinship lasted a year and a half. I'm helping her deal with it and counsling her because I was raped when I was younger as well. We have had sex before she told me about this and it was really great to. But now that she tolled me what happened to her she is afraid of being turned on and I'm starting to get really depressed and it is making me feel bad. But is there a way I can make here feel better something I can make her feel safer with me. And is it bad that I'm getting deppresed for not having sex with her. Please help this has been going on for a long time and I'm getting worse we have had sex ever since please help please.

Take it slow for both of your sakes. Consider talking to some one about this rape, is serious and a hard thing to just get over. But most of all be patient; Do things like rub her back sexually. be very sensual toward her and look her straight in the eyes by you doing this she will see that every word you say is meant and your feeling will show her your feelings are true. Tell her how you feel about her as your messaging her kissing her what ever. But most of all be patient this is something that won't just go away it will take its time. Remember talk and be sensitive for the both of you and last of all maybe talk to a counselor this is an event she will never forget but she has to find away to continue in life with dealing with it... You sound so awesome, this is a major thing to deal with make sure your in for the long haul. If your not say so know just don't bail on her when she needs you the most. You're an amazing person and best of luck to you and your girl friend.

I think this is exactly the kind of situation that benefits greatly from professional therapy. It's very, very easy for someone who has suffered like that to get lost in the emotional complications that come with it. There is no need for her to have to deal with all of this on her own, and while you may be doing your best to be supportive and to help her heal, she might do even better with someone who is clinically trained to handle all of the aspects of a situation like this one. If the therapist and your girlfriend think it's okay, you might even be able to attend a couple of sessions with them to talk about the best things you can do as her partner. Hearing what you've also had to go through, if you are still suffering from what happened to you, you might want to consider therapy for yourself as well. It can only help.

Her ex boyfriend deserves to be locked up, as does the person who violated you. I can only imagine how difficult it would be to press charges, and I don't know if there are still ways of prosecuting either of them, but the idea that they are walking around with the rest of us and could continue to rape other people turns my stomach over.

I am glad that she has someone like you with her now and that she was able to break away from the situation she was in. she will get better, but it's going to take time, patience and all of the work that's required in the healing process.

She needs professional counseling from a pro... its not something for an amateur to attempt. But your understanding will be needed.