I have been married to my wife for 13 years and we have had our fair share of relationship problems in the past. What has surfaced recently (but been there all along) is my sex (over) drive. When I don't get it for a while I either get extremely anxious or switch off as a defensive mechanism. Problem is that the closer I get to her emotionally, though affection or normal physical contact, the quicker the sexual build up and subsequent angst and problems.

I love my wife and our 2 kids a lot and she loves me. But all the good I do towards her gets eroded when the Hyde in me takes over. I have acknowledged the problem and committed to work on it -- she has distanced herself from me. What are my options? By the way. I don't indulge in extra-marital sex to satisfy myself. Masturbating to relive the tension brings only a temporary calm.