Hello,
I am with my soon to be hubby for almost 8 months and I love him to death the only problem is that when we are together its kind of hard for me to reach my orgasm.. I enjoy giving him pleasure and he has always reached his orgasm but since the time we have been together he has given me only one orgasm... He is totally clueless and thinks that I always have my orgasms when he tries to please me( I fake it practically all the time) but I don't understand why I just can't reach it with him but could doing it my own self.. another problem that I have is that I have never gotten a orgasm with the guy being inside me- I have been married before for 2 years and never reached a orgasm when it came to having him being inside.. is this something normal? What should I do?

First be honest with him. If you are always faking it and never say anything he will remain clueless. Open communication is important . A lot of women need more than just pentration. You need to show him what you need and tell him when it feels good and when its not working. I think most men want to please their women and will do whatever it takes .

My wife of 9 years didn't have a orgasm while in side her until I played with her g-spot while in side her she finely told me how to make come just tell him guys are cool about it

Stop lying/faking tell him that it does not feel right and you need help from him. And yes, most women do not climax from penetration-only that is normal.

Your concerns seem to be that:
You can't (or rarely) reach an orgasm during sex.
You can have orgasms through masturbation with no problem, but would like more orgasms while having sex with your partner.
You also, seem to be expressing guilt towards constantly leading your partner into believing that he is getting you off.

It's sounding like you might be having more orgasms through clitoral stimulation than through vaginal penetration/stimulation. Generally speaking, there are women that get more orgasms through clitoral stimulation and women that can get more of their orgasms through vaginal penetration/stimulation.

Try to realize the various things that you do to get your climax, and then present those various things (that you are comfortable with) by sharing them with him.

I feel good in saying that one night when you and him are strongly in the mood that if you were to say something like, “Honey, you are always interested in getting me off. Do you want to know something that would really get me off tonight? Let's try this…” then tell him what that special thing is that would be good tonight. He will love knowing what will help get you to have an orgasm. It'll also feed his ego.


You might have to be careful in some cases because he might get the idea that this is something that you will want every time you and him have sex. If that continues to happen, you'll have to tell him that what happen last time felt good, but tonight this next thing will feel like the right thing.

After a while, and if you have helped him help you enough times, he should be able to fly your ship without as much coaching, unless you want or need to.