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nitelight198073 · Jan 7, 2009, 08:29 AM

I am 28 and had a baby 11 months ago... I have no sex drive... I mean I don't know how to describe it... My husband wants it sometimes but I push him away but then I get angry sometimes when I don't get it... I really don't understand what is wrong with me... I just no longer feel sexy and I am moody and sometimes I hurt his feelings... I don't know what to do. Someone please help:confused:

Synnen · Jan 7, 2009, 08:36 AM

You may just be stressed with the new baby and the extra work it takes.

It's really hard to switch from "mommy" to "sexy" in the blink of an eye.

Is it possible for the two of you to, once a week, or once every couple weeks, get a babysitter and have a date overnight? You can find cheap things to do, but it's time spent together focusing on just the two of you, so that you can be more in "sexy" mood than in "mommy" mood.

I would also suggest that you talk to your doctor about it and have them check your hormone levels. Having a baby really messes with your hormones, and you may not have gotten back to "normal" yet--and you may need some medication to get back to normal!

Above all--communicate, communicate, communicate. Tell you husband what you just posted here, at a time when it's NOT an attempt at lovemaking. Let him know that it's not him, that you don't know what's wrong, and that you'd like to fix it---and I bet he does what he can to try to help you get there.

Choux · Jan 7, 2009, 10:15 AM

Sounds like you (and perhaps he) are taking out your negative emotions on each other. You have to get some help to stop doing this. You can't blame your husband for your unhappiness during this period of adjustment for your family or you may ruin your marriage.

Get some counselling so you can figure out how to build a happy life that goes with taking care of a baby. :) Also, check with your obgyne to see if your hormones are in line.

Very Best wishes to you, my friend, :)

nitelight198073 · Jan 7, 2009, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by Synnen

You may just be stressed with the new baby and the extra work it takes.

It's really hard to switch from "mommy" to "sexy" in the blink of an eye.

Is it possible for the two of you to, once a week, or once every couple weeks, get a babysitter and have a date overnight? You can find cheap things to do, but it's time spent together focusing on just the two of you, so that you can be more in "sexy" mood than in "mommy" mood.

I would also suggest that you talk to your doctor about it and have them check your hormone levels. Having a baby really messes with your hormones, and you may not have gotten back to "normal" yet--and you may need some medication to get back to normal!

Above all--communicate, communicate, communicate. Tell you husband what you just posted here, at a time when it's NOT an attempt at lovemaking. Let him know that it's not him, that you don't know what's wrong, and that you'd like to fix it---and I bet he does what he can to try to help you get there.

Thank you so much sounds great I will try it:)

supaflyguy1399 · Jan 7, 2009, 02:11 PM

I think I'm in the same boat as your husband. The question is how was your sex life before the baby and before your husband? I've always heard that sex is very healthy for relationships period. Whatever the case, let him in on how you feel about it so at least he won't be left in the dark and start thinking other stuff.

nitelight198073 · Jan 7, 2009, 04:53 PM

Originally Posted by supaflyguy1399

I think I'm in the same boat as your husband. The question is how was your sex life before the baby and before your husband? I've always heard that sex is very healthy for relationships period. Whatever the case, let him in on how you feel about it so at least he won't be left in the dark and start thinking other stuff.

Our sex life was good about 2-3 times a week they baby came and then... down the tube:(

MrEasy · Jan 7, 2009, 05:17 PM

After you had your baby, did you start birth control? Birth control pills can kill a woman's sex drive especially if your hormones weren't tested before prescribing. Synnen mentioned having your hormones tested and I agree that this should be done because of your mood swings as well as loss of sex drive.

supaflyguy1399 · Jan 7, 2009, 08:27 PM

Originally Posted by nitelight198073

Our sex life was good about 2-3 times a week they baby came and then....down the tube:(

My input remains the same. I think that you should be open with him about your feelings and tell him that you are actually seeking help and trying to understand it so you both could overcome this. Good luck.

nitelight198073 · Jan 8, 2009, 01:35 PM

Originally Posted by MrEasy

After you had your baby, did you start birth control? Birth control pills can kill a woman's sex drive especially if your hormones weren't tested before prescribing. Synnen mentioned having your hormones tested and I agree that this should be done because of your mood swings as well as loss of sex drive.

yeah at my 6 week check up I was put on orthotryceclen low.