I have a problem reaching my peak, usually a male would have to perform oral on me for thirty to forty-five minutes in order for me to climax... what's the problem?:confused:

Here's what I suggest:

Google: The woman orgasm

You will see that your situation is so common. Some women orgasm through sex. Some need to be 'helped' during sex, some get off through masturbation and some don't even climax at all sex or masturbation (poor souls)

Orgasms aren't just about the physical feeling. It is also about psychological feelings. Does your' mind wander when getting this done to you? Do you worry about something and think about it while it is being performed?

Think about what turns you on, tell your partner and you will most likely climax a lot faster.

Also know where your 'spot' of pleasure is. Definintely find that out. He could be doing all the wrong things and you and him wouldn't even know it. Expierement.

No passion, all work...

I would think that your partner doesn't really turn you on, plus, you need to work on your orgasm producing neural pathways. :)

My opinion, you should be able to climax within five minutes of getting "serious" about going for the ultimate pleasure.

Does it take you that long to reach orgasm when you are masturbating? If not, maybe you are not completely comfortable letting yourself go with a partner. May I ask how old you are?

You need to find a man who will not give up!
A man who is patient!
A man who is really hard working!
A man with huge jaw & tongue muscles!
Then you will be OK. I hope this helped

And when you find that man ask if he has a brother.:p

I think the problem is you have a man that isn't good at reading your signals. And thus isn't really that good at oral.

Are you mentally turned on before you get to this? Or is he rushing to get to home base and missing out the foreplay? Go right back to square one - lots of kissing, caressing, find out what your sensory points are, play games. Some men seem to think that they'e sucking on a hotdog when they try oral sex, and that's awful. He doesn't need a big tongue, just one that's in the right place, and you need to stop expecting him to make you come, and waiting for it - that alone can stop it happening. Just concentrate on having fun, and getting mentally aroused first:) Get him to practise with his tongue in the palm of his hand so he gets to learn the different pressures and sensations and what he's actually doing with it, and get some icecream and chocolate sauce:)

Exactly... a good man can tell if you are in the "zone" and if you aren't then he can get you there.

An oblivious guy just keeps charging ahead, damned if you are ready or not.

How does one know if your are mentally turned on then?

Even if she isn't the vocal type you can detect changes in her labia (they tend to swell a little when you have her on a roll), she will get more wet than normal... and that's if you miss her signal of grabbing you by your ears and burying your face in her crotch. :D

I still don't see what you mean by being mentally into it!!

For women to have an orgasm its mostly a state of mind. Think of it like getting fired up to watch the football game.

Guys are fairly simple creatures in that aspect. Women aren't.

Hey I am a woman and I still don't have a clue what your on about

it's a state of mind... you have to have the proper stimulation where you are comfortable, where you really want it, and are ready for it. If you have any drama in your life that remains on your mind its not likely to happen.

It's a bit difficult to explain in guy terms, Its something that when you know what that state of mind is you can get back there when you need to. And the exact things that put you there will vary from woman to woman based on your personality and likes or dislikes.

Wow, when you are, believe me, you know:) Umm.. it's kind of like being high? But with every nerve in your body wide awake? NOT thinking about anything at all, but purely reacting? Literally, being blazing hot, breathless, feeling like your head's going to explode? Does any of this help? It's what you should be feeling like before you even get down to the 'nitty gritty'..

Mentally turned on. Personally, I begin to fantasize about where I want them to touch me next and breathing becomes more like light panting, I want to put my hands and tongue on ever part of their body and eventually I get to the point where I am sure if I don't have them inside of me right then I am going to scream.:eek:

As a woman you need to be mentally interested to have any of the physical reactions. Not mentally turned on.. you aren't going to be physically turned on either.

I've just noticed something, the phrasing, you've quoted 'a male' and not 'my partner'. Do NOT take this as criticism, it's not - but is this a regular partner or a 'light' date? Problem? Because if it's someone you don't know too well, then that can cause problems in that you haven't got through the trust barrier to mentally 'let yourself go' with them.