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    gemz123's Avatar
    gemz123 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 07:23 AM
    Me + my experience.= sheer confusion!
    Hey, so I'm 18 and I am terribly confused about my sexuality! I have only ever loved one person and that was a girl, but she messed with my head drastically and in the end I think she broke my heart. She was also the first person I have ever 'experimented' with.
    I am always going out on the 'gay scene' but I never feel the urge to want to have sex with girls? I kiss girls all the time, but I'm not really into the whole 'having sex' thing. The girl I experimented with.. (not to sound harsh) but she was really rubbish in bed, and I got sick of faking it. I also think this has put me off the whole having sex with someone thing.
    I can't be Asexual because I do masturbate a fair amount!

    I am a virgin when it comes down to boys/men, whatever, and have never really liked a boy as much as I have a girl. I have done stuff with a boy but I was really drunk so I wouldn't say that counted!
    I am more boyish than girly, I play sports, love football, don't like girly things, hate dressing up girly because I think I look stupid! And I do not feel comfortable in girly clothes that are REALLY girl (e.g, dresses, heels, girly tops etc). I'm also a big fan of the L word (which is a series all about Lesbians, hence why it is called The 'L' word.
    So how can I be straight?
    But also, how can I be a lesbian if I don't feel the need to have sex with girls?
    I fantasize about having sex with boys but I don't like kissing boys and have never been close to a boy as I have with girls.

    After 'my first love'(girl), I have had one girlfriend since then, but we never had sex even though I REALLY liked her and thought she was proper fit!
    I am now up to the stage of sheer confusion because I can't decide what I want. And When I think I like someone, I enjoy the chasing after them, but as soon as they admit they like me, I go off them straight away? And start to find them really unattractive! Which is leading them on I know, but I can't help it!
    HELP ME! I am slowly going insane :[
    P.S I've never had a boyfriend.
    I'm not ugly or anything because I know a few people who have liked me but I just don't seem to fancy anyone!
    Very frustrating!

    Sorry for the long post, rant over!

    Gem :) x
    Ren6's Avatar
    Ren6 Posts: 539, Reputation: 121
    Senior Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 08:10 AM
    Hi there!
    First of all, perhaps you're not ready for a heavy romantic relationship with either gender. I know that you're legally an adult, but comfort with our sexuality doesn't magically appear at eighteen. I was twenty-two before I really figured out that I was a lesbian. I would just give it some time. Who says you have to have a label, anyway?

    After a while, a pattern will emerge. For example, I have found myself occasionally attracted to guys, but when it all boils down, the only people who fascinate me long term are women. Don't push yourself- things will work out the way they're supposed to eventually. If you're really disturbed about this, find a good counselor who specializes in sexuality issues.

    Best wishes...
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
    Senior Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 01:06 PM

    It really doesn't matter whether your gay or straight. No one is asking you to check either the gay or straight box. Just go with whatever your attracted to and stay open to both sexes until you find someone you do fancy.

    Hope this helps.
    chrissymarie's Avatar
    chrissymarie Posts: 563, Reputation: 53
    Senior Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 01:07 PM
    Also I'd like to add that your very lucky to be attracted to both sex's... you get the best of both worlds!
    mustangchristy77's Avatar
    mustangchristy77 Posts: 87, Reputation: 13
    Junior Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 04:46 PM

    I agree with ChrissyMarie. Maybe the reason you're so confused is that you're trying to hard to figure it out. Something become clear when you stop thinking about them. Just relax and have fun. You will know it when the right person comes into your life.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
    Ultra Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 06:14 PM

    Who you are is largely(plus genetics) an accumulation of all your experiences with others since birth... you are *only 18*... you have little sexual experience at all! :) That's probably a good thing, girl.

    Build yourself some more sexual experiences, like making out with guys, and see how you feel. You don't have to have sex. If they don't do anything for you in the way of sexual excitement... experiment with women. See if a lesbian turns you on.

    What you need is experience, not fantasizing, to help you build yourself a sexual identity. :)

    Best wishes,
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
    Ultra Member

    Feb 5, 2009, 06:56 PM

    I'd say your bi.

    I'll let you in on a secret, it's not a myth or a transitional period for everyone... we do exist! :p

    Try not to over-think it though, I'm from Ireland and we have a saying..

    What's for you, won't pass you.

    Have fun,stop worrying! :)

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