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the_poet · Jun 12, 2008, 12:07 PM

hey, i am 22 years of age and i am a lesbian. my girlfriend and i have been together for 6 years. she is bisezual and says she has urges to sleep with men. i completely trust her so after a long conversation, i told her we could try an open relationship for a while under certain conditions. does anyone think this was a good idea? what would you have done?:confused:

Alty · Jun 12, 2008, 12:13 PM

An open relationship is a doomed relationship, that's my opinion. If she wants to sleep with other people, then she should be single. If you are hoping to continue a relationship with her, then what kind of relationship do you want? Also, there is the risk of her contracting an std, and passing it on to you.

This does not sound like a good idea to me. And I don't think you are comfortable with it either, am I right?

Time to tell her how you feel, and not just what she wants to hear.

Good luck.

N0help4u · Jun 12, 2008, 12:23 PM

An open relationship is doomed as the others have said.
It isn't any different than a heterosexual guy telling his girlfriend that he wants to sleep with other girls.
Your partner lacks the commitment and the respect of your relationship. Cut her lose.
If you go for the open relationship she is the only one benefiting because you will never feel okay with sleeping around while she is AND not even feeling remorse that you are the one left out in the cold will she is out living it up with whoever, whenever,.

Synnen · Jun 12, 2008, 12:35 PM

Okay, first off--an open relationship is not "doomed". Many people make one work.

It does, however, require absolute trust for both people.

And it also requires that everyone involved knows the rules laid down ahead of time, and that everyone follows those rules.

But the BIGGEST rule is that everyone has to be comfortable with the idea to begin with.

N0help4u · Jun 12, 2008, 12:38 PM

I think it is doomed if one person wants it and the other doesn't but goes along with it just to please the other which sounds like what she is doing.

Synnen · Jun 12, 2008, 12:41 PM

You're correct in that. If only ONE person wants something sexual in a relationship, especially if it involves other people, it's likely to ruin the relationship overall, simply because resentment is bound to build.

Choux · Jun 12, 2008, 02:19 PM

Both you women are young and babies really when it comes to life experience.

I think it would be a good idea for an open relationship, but you have to keep an eye out for jealousy. Open relationships are really for adults, and I don't think you have much life experience behind you to give you the strength to have one... however, I don't know you...

Best wishes in 2008 :)

Xrayman · Jun 12, 2008, 04:01 PM

What are your "certain conditions"?