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    UnwantedHero's Avatar
    UnwantedHero Posts: 99, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 07:35 AM
    How young is too young when it comes to your virginity?
    This girl who's interested in me recently told me that she lost hers at 14.The legal age here is 16.Im not sure whether to be put off by this because it seems a bit young. She said she's never had sex after that but that's not the point.woulnt care if she's a virgin or not but not sure if I should be put off by this fact.shes 19 by the way now.
    curlybenswife's Avatar
    curlybenswife Posts: 2,477, Reputation: 267
    Ultra Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 08:55 AM
    Could she be lying? Trying to impress you so you don't think she is not experienced??
    On the other hand you can't judge someone just for the age they lost there vaginity it is said to be kept for that special someone just remember some are more nieve than others and believe that what ever the age that one person is worth giving it to, even if in years to come they realise that it really wasn't. But you can't turn back the clock right.
    Tuscany's Avatar
    Tuscany Posts: 1,049, Reputation: 229
    Ultra Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 09:14 AM
    If you are judging her based on her past that is not fair. Who cares what age she lost her virginity? Is she a good person, one that you want to get to know? I say let the past be the past and move on, get to know her. You might miss out on getting to know a really special person if you let something like the age she lost her virginity stand in your way.

    Moreover, I tend to agree with CBW. I think she might of lied to impress you, but then realized that you were not impressed, and now is trying to back track.

    Either way, don't let this stand in the way of you getting to know the person that she is now.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692

    Jul 4, 2007, 09:25 AM
    Well if she was 14 now and you were asking if that was to young, yes of course it is, But the older and older you get, the more and more you will meet girls who have had all sorts of bad past relastionships.

    The first and most important rule is: don't judge from past, don't ask about past, that is just that past.
    templelane's Avatar
    templelane Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 227
    Ultra Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 09:56 AM
    I know lots of girls who lost there viginity at 14 (not that I'm saying it's a good idea.) I think it depends on where someone grew up and the culture. I don't think you should be worried about her/ put off. It's all in the past after all and you don't know the circumstances. Unlike other posters I don't believe she is lying.
    UnwantedHero's Avatar
    UnwantedHero Posts: 99, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 01:03 PM
    Firstly I'm not judging her at all,I was merly asking opinions because it doesn't really bother me.I know for a fact that she isn't lying because she once dated my mate who she gave it too.its only within the last 8 months that we got in touch again and started talking and she has since fallen for me.
    michealb's Avatar
    michealb Posts: 484, Reputation: 129
    Full Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 01:17 PM
    If she was 14 and the age of consent is 16 she was raped because the law says she is to young to consent. The fact that she says she hasn't done anything since then backs up the fact that is was a bad experience for her. Why would you judge someone who had something done to them before they mature enough to consent to it?
    BigCityDreams007's Avatar
    BigCityDreams007 Posts: 80, Reputation: 2
    Junior Member

    Jul 4, 2007, 01:30 PM
    Past is the past...
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443

    Jul 4, 2007, 03:30 PM
    No, you shouldn't be put off by it. Would you be put off by it if it was a guy?

    I knew girls who had lost theirs at 12---and I was appalled!

    It's part of her past, it's part of what makes her "Her". As long as you odn't get hung up on it, you should just take her for the woman she is today.

    If someone judged ME today by a decision I made at 14, I think I'd probably clock them.
    UnwantedHero's Avatar
    UnwantedHero Posts: 99, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member

    Jul 5, 2007, 09:31 AM
    Yea thanks I'm NOT judging her just a lot of people that I know have very strong opinions towards the fact that she did it when she was 14.Ive since spoken too her and I told her it doesn't bother me and I now know that she regrets it was was going to tell me she was a virgin if I hadn't already known about her past experience.She also told me that she wants to give her selfproclaimed new virginity away too me if I choose to be more then friends with her,which at this point Ive realised that Ive had a crush on her for months now and not realising it till 3 days ago.
    templelane's Avatar
    templelane Posts: 1,177, Reputation: 227
    Ultra Member

    Jul 5, 2007, 10:44 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
    Ive realised that Ive had a crush on her for months now and not realising it till 3 days ago.
    Aww that's so sweet. Good luck and the best to both of you!:p
    binx44's Avatar
    binx44 Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 88
    Ultra Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 03:48 AM
    I agree that 14 is a little young but everyone makes mistakes. I made the same one and lost mine at the same age (I'm 20 now) and I didn't sleep with anyone again until I was almost 16 ( I know its not a long span there but when I was 16 I met the most wonderful man I've ever met and we've been together since. He knows my past but does not care about it on account he has sex when he was 12. Some people just make mistakes no ones perfect. And about her sleeping with someone else like 8 months ago. She's an adult now. Maybe it was a mistake then. Who knows... but I am glad you two like each other and good luck to you bolth
    Dennis777's Avatar
    Dennis777 Posts: 478, Reputation: 124
    Full Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 05:46 AM

    If you learn one thing for this site I hope it's the fact you can't live in or for the past. You have to be able to deal with a problem then let it go, not just at that time but forever. Your future will bring you many problem to deal with and you will meet each one head on and work your way through them and learn from them. That's what makes us strong in life.

    If you care for who she is today then go after her. Let her be your Virgin or if your smart ask her to wait until you know your meant for each other as you would a Virgin.

    Good Luck
    kogi_w's Avatar
    kogi_w Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 06:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by UnwantedHero
    This girl whos interested in me recently told me that she lost hers at 14.The legal age here is 16.Im not sure whether to be put off by this coz it seems a bit young. she said shes never had sex after that but thats not the point.woulnt care if shes a virgin or not but not sure if I should be put off by this fact.shes 19 by the way now.
    Hey , I think there's no big different between 14 and 16 so it doesn't matter so if you love her so try to trust her and if you found she is not good so leave her
    margarita_momma's Avatar
    margarita_momma Posts: 299, Reputation: 46
    Full Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 07:40 AM
    I lost my virginity when I was 14. Sadly, I was one of the last girls in my class to loose my virginity. I think it really depends on where you grow up. I regret losing it that early now but you can't change the past.
    benn11's Avatar
    benn11 Posts: 1,036, Reputation: 43
    Ultra Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 08:26 AM
    It will always depend on the law, if the law says that legally you can have sexual intercourse with a lady after she's 21 then that's what it will be. You can't take the risk because if by any chance something goes wrong she can't help you in court because she is minor!

    Think about... ;)
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,492, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Jul 6, 2007, 11:16 AM
    While I am hardly a prude and solidly advocating abstanance its nothing someone should be in a rush to do... because once you start its on your mind a lot and lets face it.. kids don't need the distractions from school. They collectively aren't doing all that well anyway. And doing less than your absolute best WILL affect your life as it does effect discipline and earning potential. Once you have completed college then, and only then should you seriously consider it. I know what a distraction getting laid was for me in college.
    bigdreamer85's Avatar
    bigdreamer85 Posts: 44, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member

    Jul 11, 2007, 07:26 AM
    So to answer your question... 14 is too young in my opinion, but my mom said you'd always KNOW when you were ready so maybe she was ready or maybe someone took advantage of her. Who cares if you love her and want to be with her. Just don't ever through it in her face, because that is probably hard enough on her anyway. GOOD LUCK with the two of you.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855

    Jul 11, 2007, 07:41 AM
    What she has done in the past is over. Who she is now is what counts.
    UnwantedHero's Avatar
    UnwantedHero Posts: 99, Reputation: 8
    Junior Member

    Jul 12, 2007, 05:03 AM
    Yea I agree with you there tal small probs come up though, she's moving about 4 hours away from me in a month because she still lives with her parents and her dads in the army and he's been stationed four hours away so I don't think Im going to pursue a relationship with her which does suck because we had a few moment together latly which have been good but since I found out a few days ago I thought to myself that I should back off a bit just so that we just remain friends and that's it.

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