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    How do women look at 38 year old male virgins?

    Asked Nov 22, 2012, 07:57 AM 96 Answers
    I'm a 38 year old male who is still a virgin. I have tried to get a girl since I was 17 but has failed throughout. Why? Well, I wish I could understand that myself. Some reasons are that I have a huge lack of confidence (which has grown every time I have been turned down), I am quite introvert, and probably not too good looking (but far from bad looking). I have been on a few dates but it has never gone any farther. Except for twice (8 years ago and 4 years ago) when we were going to have sex. But I was so anxious about how it would be so I wanted to let them know that I had never been with a woman before. And both times they left immediately.

    So, how does the majority of women look at old male virgins? Will I ever have a chance of getting sex and a relationship? I'm keen on getting sex of course but just as much I want a relationship with a woman who I can be close to, feel her warmth, her body, her love. Will this be impossible? Please be honest on how you feel about old male virgins and if you could (or couldn't) accept being with a 38 year old who never had sex.

    Please?
    Last edited by talaniman; May 4, 2013 at 08:32 AM.
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    96 Answers
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #81

    May 26, 2013, 03:08 PM
    You absolutely need to take a deep breath, don't fixate on women/sex/dating - and enjoy. You will meet a woman whose company you enjoy on many levels and "it" will come naturally.

    The more interesting and involved you are the more interesting and involved women you will meet - and one of them will be the woman for you.

    A virgin would not have made me run in the opposite direction. An insecure virgin who wanted to discuss his virginity would have.

    Just relax.
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    jonathan64's Avatar
    jonathan64 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #82

    May 27, 2013, 02:27 PM
    Believe me, I will never ever tell a woman again that I am a virgin and suffer from it. If I find someone I will definitely let her know after we have been together for a while unless she guesses or asks. However, as I mentioned that I don't really have anyone to talk about this with I hoped I could do it here. If this is not appropriate I will just quit.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 52,738, Reputation: 10805
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    #83

    May 27, 2013, 02:48 PM
    That's what we are here for. No problem.
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    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
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    #84

    May 27, 2013, 06:16 PM
    Honestly, in my opinion, that would actually endear me to you. All humans make assumptions. But where that assumption leads, would tell you how the relationship could go.

    Sounds like the majority of women you have been with, haven't been all that great to begin with, as they made the wrong assumptions.

    I however, would have made the assumption that you were sweet, maybe shy, and/or wanting to save yourself, and that is a HUGE plus for many women, especially those of us in middling years rather than young. (I can't believe I am 30!! EEK)

    I hope I helped.

    Any woman who thinks it's a BAD thing because you are a virgin, probably isn't the right one anyway.
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    My_Doll_iS's Avatar
    My_Doll_iS Posts: 8, Reputation: 3
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    #85

    May 28, 2013, 08:04 PM
    So, how does the majority of women look at old male virgins?
    I'm in my early 20's and I find that to be interesting. A really good thing to be exact. And I can only imagine that if you find the right woman she would really appreciate that. Just my two cents.
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    jonathan64's Avatar
    jonathan64 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #86

    Jul 30, 2013, 06:29 AM
    I think I could use some encouraging comments or thoughts.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 52,738, Reputation: 10805
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    #87

    Jul 30, 2013, 06:33 AM
    Please explain the events leading to your need.
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    jonathan64's Avatar
    jonathan64 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #88

    Jul 30, 2013, 06:58 AM
    No particular events really. I just don't think I am making a lot of progress. So the mood is a bit down. Just hope for some positive thoughts and encouraging cheers.
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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #89

    Jul 30, 2013, 07:03 AM
    Unfortunately this is not a social site or a blog - it's a Q and A site. I think the entire "women and virgins" subject has been covered.

    Is there another issue? You aren't making progress - in what?
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    jonathan64's Avatar
    jonathan64 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #90

    Jul 30, 2013, 07:09 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JudyKayTee View Post
    Unfortunately this is not a social site or a blog - it's a Q and A site. I think the entire "women and virgins" subject has been covered.

    Is there another issue? You aren't making progress - in what?
    I am trying to socialize more, meet new people that hopefully can result in that I will meet a woman to share my life with. But I don't feel like I'm very successful.

    OK, you have a that this primarily is a Q&A site. Do you have any suggestion on a good and serious social site where I can go instead? I know many sites with low quality but no real good one.
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    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,505, Reputation: 4599
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    #91

    Jul 30, 2013, 07:13 AM
    No, I don't know a reliable ("meet people") site. I'm sure they are out there. I've heard both good and bad about all of them.

    Have you tried "in person" places - social gatherings? I'm "into" cars and cruise nights, and I've met lots of potential partners there.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 52,738, Reputation: 10805
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    #92

    Jul 30, 2013, 07:19 AM
    Got hobbies? Find out where people with the same hobby meet. Build a happy life and others will be attracted and want to hare that happiness. Get out in public and practice those social skills and get comfortable being around people and interacting with them.
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    Enigma1999's Avatar
    Enigma1999 Posts: 2,223, Reputation: 1077
    Welbeing Expert
     
    #93

    Jul 30, 2013, 12:34 PM
    You should donate some of your time at a hospital or an animal shelter. Basically a place where you will most likely meet upstanding people.

    I know it's hard out there...

    I wish you the best of luck.
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    jonathan64's Avatar
    jonathan64 Posts: 29, Reputation: 1
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    #94

    Jun 15, 2014, 09:59 AM
    So I have practiced quite a lot being social with women. I feel some progress but I am not there yet. I have consulted therapists and also so called dating coaches. I have managed getting 3 dates in 2 years. With one of them we had 3 dates before she ended it, with the other 2 everything ended after the first date.

    Just looking for some encouragement I guess.
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    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,265, Reputation: 2827
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    #95

    Jun 15, 2014, 10:53 AM
    That sounds nornal... not all people you get dates with will work out... you might find things don't click on the first date or a number of dates after that. You pick up and move on when that happens. Eventually you meet that one when even after a long time dating everything is right for both people. That's when you get married. Until then its all about getting to know everything about each other.
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    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 52,738, Reputation: 10805
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    #96

    Jun 15, 2014, 12:29 PM
    Keep making progress and learning. Never dwell on rejection, always look to the next adventure.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,888, Reputation: 7659
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    #97

    Jun 15, 2014, 10:12 PM


    OK. A good start. I hope I do not offend anyone on this, but dating is just math... a matter of numbers... I was divorced a couple years ago.. So I started dating. Take a look at what I look like on my Facebook. I am old. Grey hair, fat. I have a bad eye, a limp and my left arm is scared from dozes of cuts.

    Get the idea. Not the strong manly man... so to speak.

    I had at least one date a week. Sometimes two. I did it by asking people out. Maybe just for coffee or something simple. First dates should never be too long and too complicated.

    I did not keep a log book, but maybe 5 out of 6 dates, the first date was all there was. So anytime you get a second date, that means, there was at least some interest on the first date.
    So you were showing good progress

    You just have to understand, that you may ask 10 girls out, to only get 1 or 2 dates. And it is a on going process.
    Helpful (1)

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