Check out some similar questions!

mommyiggy · Jan 3, 2009, 09:36 PM

Joking I don't want to tell my husband he sucks... but our love life has kind of dried up. I just turned 30 and I feel as though I have reached my sexual peak. The sex that hubby and I used to have was the best I have ever had but lately its over before I am started little to no foreplay and I am extremely frustrated. I can get there myself (and do) but I would rather get there with him. How do I tell him this without hurting him or without a blow to his ego? He's not sensitive but for any man that has to be a little bit of a sting. Oh yeah and is Viagra just for getting it up or does it work for keeping it up?? He's only 33 so I didn't think we'd be thinking about this so soon. HELP!?

Starbucks21 · Jan 3, 2009, 09:43 PM

Easy...
"Honey, I'd like to spice up out bedroom life"

It sounds like you're more bored than not satisfied and what guy wouldn't like a spicy bedroom life

Maybe a little more oral or what not or venture to a sex shop/online store if you are so bold

Tell the man what you want and I'll bet (unless good reason why) he'll do it

Starbucks21 · Jan 3, 2009, 09:46 PM

I mean more oral before by the way... so you get there faster before he does

mommyiggy · Jan 3, 2009, 09:55 PM

I have tried that I suggest oral to him and he's I don't know just not that into it, I can't make him do it for him its more a chore... I had a passion party and for those of you who don't know what that is its basically a tupperware party for sex toys. I tried to get him to pick things out for us to use together and most of them are still in the drawer and have been used only once or twice... I'm not looking for an all night marathon but is a little foreplay and a good 10 minutes really too much to ask? And believe me I ask.

Starbucks21 · Jan 3, 2009, 10:09 PM

Well if you tried step one (being you ask him) and that didn't work then you might just need to sit down and talk to him about your frustrations... how things feel... and discuss how you can fix them

You 2 are grown adults. Guys do have a lot of pride in their bedroom prowess but it's better to tell him what's wrong.

It's like what grandma used to tell me (I don't come from a normal family btw) "Men are like microwaves and women are like ovens." Don't tell him, "honey, you're god awful in bed." Tell him, "honey, I'm not getting satisfied in bed. I need foreplay. I don't work the same way you do."

mommyiggy · Jan 3, 2009, 10:19 PM

I learned a long time ago that with men you can't bullsh*t you have to come out and say what you mean in no indirect terms period. I am not shy by any means, I ask. I refuse to beg so what do I do. Do I stay in a marriage where I am no longer sexually fulfilled or is this grounds for divorce?? If I express that I have needs that are not currently being met and he chooses to ignore me do I move on? Are my expectations unrealistic? I am so confused. By the way still no answer to the Viagra question.

ZoeMarie · Jan 3, 2009, 11:41 PM

Your expectations are not unrealistic at all. I wouldn't go the divorce route just yet. Try sitting down and talking to him about it. And here's a thought, the toys that are still in the drawer, just get them out sometime. Don't even ask, and see how he reacts. I know sometimes my husband says he likes it when I don't ask him about things and just do it. Not all guys are the same, I know but... it's worth a shot

Starbucks21 · Jan 3, 2009, 11:58 PM

Divorce is a little extreme...

Talking to him is not. He's you're husband and I'm sure you 2 can have a nice mature talk about sex. Zoe has a good idea. Just doing things (that he is comfortable with) that spice it up may please both of you.

mommyiggy · Jan 4, 2009, 07:36 AM

I don't want to divorce him... I want some change, effort on his part. I plan to have a long talk... but I am not very optimistic.

ScottGem · Jan 4, 2009, 08:09 AM

I would think sucking in bed would be a good thing! :::ducking:::

MrEasy · Jan 4, 2009, 09:48 AM

To answer your question about Viagra - it's purpose is to help a man have a firmer. Longer lasting erection. Viagra does not increase sexual desire or sex drive if that's what you're asking. An exception to that would be if a man has lost his self-confidence because of ED. If Viagra restores his erections and his confidence, then of course his sex drive would return to normal.
Is he having erectile problems or is he just getting off too soon?

mommyiggy · Jan 4, 2009, 09:52 AM

It's that he is getting off to soon. I don't know if its age or what, he used to last forever sometime too long now its maybe 2-3 minutes... do you think Viagra would help?

MrEasy · Jan 4, 2009, 09:57 AM

Viagra probably won't help. As far as age, men usually take a little longer as they get older. Perhaps, sex was more frequent in the past. The longer in between, then the faster time to orgasm. Could that be the situation?

Synnen · Jan 4, 2009, 10:19 AM

I am of the firm opinion that if you can't TALK about sex with your partner, you either shouldn't be HAVING sex with them, or you shouldn't be able to complain about not getting what you need.

TALK to the poor man. Men don't get hints. They don't get the whole teasing around the issues to avoid hurting feelings thing.

What he WILL get, and I promise you he'll get it, is this: HE doesn't get HIS until YOU get YOURS.

So... he'd BETTER learn to LIKE foreplay and toys and giving oral sex, because if he Doesn't like those things, then he can forget about sex.

mommyiggy · Jan 4, 2009, 01:09 PM

I think MrEasy got it. It must be the frequency I was starting to think I'd have to run out and get me a 18 year old to keep up, we'll have a talk tonight.

MrEasy · Jan 4, 2009, 01:26 PM

I hope that works for you. Kick it up a notch and every time he last longer convince him that "He's the MAN!" That may encourage him to work on his control again.

lady_fang66 · Jan 4, 2009, 01:41 PM

His and her's k-y(I think) jelly. This lube works wonders. Even if he sucks, it really won't matter because the lube does all the work for him. And I think that it has something in it because my husband seemed to enjoy and want more after we tried it for the first time.;)

Choux · Jan 4, 2009, 02:12 PM

Let's face it... the mental effect of living together with the problems to be solved and the biatchin' and nagging and lies all have a toll on one's sexual life in bed. There is an old expression that says familiarity breeds comtempt(I'm not saying this is your case).

What you have to do is have a talk with your husband, no accusations, have a negotiation so you get what you want in bed in exchange for you giving him something he wants.

It's about negotiation and being pleasant with your partner. The same with him.

Good Luck! :)

smoothy · Jan 5, 2009, 06:12 AM

You are going to have to let him know. Guys can't read minds any more than women can.

Now with that said you can be tactful and descrete or rudel and blunt. THe former is far better than the latter unless you want confrontation.

This is why I always say its bad to fake an orgasm. If you ever do that then you can't blame him when he thinks he is doing it right.