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NazKam · Jun 20, 2012, 11:46 AM

Hey guys what does that mean to you?? I mean when do you say someone is good at sex?? What does that mean to you that someone is actually and truly good??

Wondergirl · Jun 20, 2012, 11:48 AM

That person connects with my mind and my feelings.

CravenMorhead · Jun 20, 2012, 02:39 PM

Ask four different people and you will get five answers.

Why do you want to know? How old are you?

NazKam · Jun 21, 2012, 09:03 AM

It doesn't matter how old am I , just who can answer?! Yet no one I wanted to become sure that it's pretty mental not physical!!

afaroo · Jun 21, 2012, 09:13 AM

Originally Posted by NazKam

it doesn't matter how old am i , just who can answer ?!!! yet no one i wanted to become sure that it's pretty mental not physical !!!!

Yes it does open the link and read it yourself, if you don't tell us your age no body will resond to you, Thanks.

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smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 09:14 AM

Originally Posted by NazKam

it doesn't matter how old am i , just who can answer ?!!! yet no one i wanted to become sure that it's pretty mental not physical !!!!

Nobody will answer you until you Answer the question you were asked... how old are you? 14? 16?

NazKam · Jun 21, 2012, 09:20 AM

Ok OK 20 !

smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 09:42 AM

More insight into the original poster...

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ip-655062.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating...do-656291.html

CravenMorhead · Jun 21, 2012, 02:39 PM

You're really asking a subjective question. As I said you can ask five different people and get six different answers.

Since I gathered that you're a woman, I will answer from the man's perspective. You get the guy off. While it is no large feat to do that is the basic part of it. Now you branch off into what people like. If you are a screamer and your boy doesn't like that it won't be good for him. You won't be good. If you boyfriend likes... well you should get the picture.

One person says you could be good at sex, another will say the opposite. I have had women that were terrible lays and vice versa. I am sure when they found Mr. Right. They were awesome at sex. They just weren't with me.

Hope that helps.

NazKam · Jun 22, 2012, 05:45 AM

:D sure that's exactly what I thought!! There is not a single rule for that!! And it's kind of bad actually because you may really love someone but not satisfied with him/her . The bad news is it will eventually end the relationship anyway. THANKS FOR YOUR ANSWER , it was so helpful I loved that !

Fr_Chuck · Jun 22, 2012, 05:51 AM

For most guys someone who is good at sex ( their partner) it is a person who will let them have sex with them. If they are having sex, it is good and their partner is good.
For the guy it is the person who does the sex they way the guys like.

CravenMorhead · Jun 22, 2012, 07:55 AM

Originally Posted by NazKam

:D sure that's exactly what i thought !!!! there is not a single rule for that !!!! and it's kinda bad actually because you may really love someone but not satisfied with him/her . the bad news is it will eventually end the relationship anyway. THANKS FOR YOUR ANSWER , it was so helpful i loved that !

That is all about compatibility. There are many levels of that and sex/intimacy is one of them. It is often passed aside as shallow to judge on this aspect, but I think otherwise. If you're going to be dissatisfied at least own up to why you are. Then you have a better chance of finding someone for you.

Wondergirl · Jun 22, 2012, 08:03 AM

Originally Posted by NazKam

it's kinda bad actually because you may really love someone but not satisfied with him/her . the bad news is it will eventually end the relationship anyway.

That's not true at all! There have been thousands and probably milliions of relationships and marriages that have endured if sex is not satisfactory or even possible. Couples don't stay together only because of great sex. Think of Christopher Reeve and his wife. They didn't divorce after he became totally paralyzed.

JudyKayTee · Jun 22, 2012, 05:38 PM

Originally Posted by NazKam

hey guys what does that mean to you ??? i mean when do you say someone is good at sex ??? what does that mean to you that someone is actually and truly good ?????????????

No, it doesn't mean someone is actually and truly good - it sometimes means they said, "Was that good for you?" and you either told the truth or lied OR there was some other, similar question and it was easier to agree than disagree. Sometimes open ended questions are best answered "yes."

OR the other person doesn't have much experience and is looking for confirmation. OR the other person thinks you are looking for confirmation because you don't have much experience.

Or any of the above.

smoothy · Jun 22, 2012, 06:31 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

No, it doesn't mean somone is actually and truly good - it sometimes means they said, "Was that good for you?" and you either told the truth or lied OR there was some other, similar question and it was easier to agree than disagree. Sometimes open ended questions are best answered "yes."

OR the other person doesn't have much experience and is looking for confirmation. OR the other person thinks you are looking for confirmation because you don't have much experience.

Or any of the above.

Or they have self image issues and need it to feel better about themselves for the moment

mogrann · Jun 22, 2012, 06:39 PM

Speaking as an older woman who has been together with hubby number two for 22 years. It is more than the actual act of sex. The mechanics are part of the equation but there is so much more involved: respect of the other persons needs and wants, love, communication etc. Yes the act of sex can be good BUT if the other things are missing you will not feel like having sex.
Think of sex like a nice dinner out you have lots of courses before the dessert: sex is the dessert of the meal.

NazKam · Jun 23, 2012, 01:09 AM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

That's not true at all! There have been thousands and probably milliions of relationships and marriages that have endured if sex is not satisfactory or even possible. Couples don't stay together only because of great sex. Think of Christopher Reeve and his wife. They didn't divorce after he became totally paralyzed.

Hmmm that's true I agree with that personally , I won't leave someone because I'm not satisfied having sex with him, but as I experienced I became to know that it's completely different for boys, if they thought I was good they were just awesome and craved but if not they were cold and our relationship ended up anyway. That's why I asked the question IF there's a single common rule for being good to prevent problems coming out !

NazKam · Jun 23, 2012, 04:39 AM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

No, it doesn't mean somone is actually and truly good - it sometimes means they said, "Was that good for you?" and you either told the truth or lied OR there was some other, similar question and it was easier to agree than disagree. Sometimes open ended questions are best answered "yes."

OR the other person doesn't have much experience and is looking for confirmation. OR the other person thinks you are looking for confirmation because you don't have much experience.

Or any of the above.

Or the fact that I am convincing myself that it's OK but it's not ! Mentally I don't get what I want but I fool myself ! So I try to get confirmation that from this side I'm good .

smoothy · Jun 23, 2012, 05:48 AM

I think that not helpful given to mogrann AND Fr_Chuck by NazCam were quite rude, and in flagrant violation of the site rules, because there was nothing factually inaccurate with anything they said. You can't give an not helpful for an answer that wasn't what you were expecting to hear.

JudyKayTee · Jun 23, 2012, 07:25 AM

Originally Posted by smoothy

I think that not helpful given to mogrann AND Fr_Chuck by NazCam were quite rude, and in flagrant violation of the site rules, because there was nothing factually inaccurate with anything they said. You can't give an not helpful for an answer that wasn't what you were expecting to hear.

I didn't even catch that! If you read the rest of the posts the "ratings" are absolutely no surprise.

You said it best - advice you don't like is not incorrect advice.