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    pandalucien's Avatar
    pandalucien Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 23, 2009, 11:46 PM
    Gay guy falling in love with straight guy
    So I've been working with this guy for about year and half.
    He's has with two kids with his live-in girlfriend.
    I'm a single gay.
    Everyday at work, we flirt a lot, he tells me that he loves me, he tells me that I'm cute, he's even asked me if I wanted to see his penis.
    What does this mean? Is he just joking/messing with me?
    Could he secretly be gay? Is he just looking for attention?
    As hard as it is for me to figure it out, I'm afraid I'm starting to fall in love with him.
    I fantasize about him breaking up with his wife to be with me.
    I know this is wrong. I know I shouldn't even be thinking about this but he is all I can think about.
    How do I make this feeling go away?
    shazamataz's Avatar
    shazamataz Posts: 6,642, Reputation: 1244
    Uber Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 01:05 AM

    He asked if you wanted to see his penis?
    Was he 'mocking' you or was her serious?

    If he was asking seriously then this guy has a lot of issues to sort out.

    I wouldn't even think about pursuing him.
    For one, he has a girlfriend and two kids.
    And also he doesn't know what he wants.

    He flirts with you but then goes home to his girlfriend.

    You could ask him about his sexuality next time he brings it up (flirting)
    And ask him what his intentions are with it.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 04:32 AM

    Tell him knock it off he has a girlfriend.
    See what he says to that.
    He is either teasing you or wanting to cheat.
    Maybe he wants out of the relationship with her but that is the WRONG way to go about it.
    jenniepepsi's Avatar
    jenniepepsi Posts: 4,042, Reputation: 533
    Ultra Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 01:13 PM

    Definite red flags regardless of weather or not he was serious or not about asking if you wanted to see his penis. If he was serious, that's a red flag because he is in a relationship, and dancing very close to the lines of unfaithfulness. If he was not serious, you don't want a man in your life who is only going to ridicule you and treat you that way.

    As I tell my cousin who is also gay, take your time, relax, there is PLENTY of time to find a lover. You don't have to rush so much.
    bronzebabe's Avatar
    bronzebabe Posts: 333, Reputation: 62
    Full Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 04:30 PM

    I agree with the advice here. This guy is sending out signals, OR he is making fun of you.
    Either way, something is wrong. Stop paying attention to him. He is doing something that you don't need any part in.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,825, Reputation: 2035
    Uber Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 04:42 PM

    You did say at work so whether he is doing it for whatever reasons if he continues and gets out of hand you could take it to management as sexual harassment.
    Maybe he really is interested though.:confused:
    jjwoodhull's Avatar
    jjwoodhull Posts: 1,378, Reputation: 239
    Ultra Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 04:47 PM
    He sounds confused. Either way - he needs to sort out his life and his issues before you could ever consider getting involved with him.

    Try to distance yourself from him. Stop flirting and keep all conversations work related until you feel that you are over him.
    crisluvsu731's Avatar
    crisluvsu731 Posts: 150, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member

    Jul 24, 2009, 05:00 PM
    Is it his wife or his girlfriend? When he says that stuff to you, is he joking or serious? Does he know you are gay?
    deviover's Avatar
    deviover Posts: 8, Reputation: 2
    New Member

    Sep 19, 2009, 03:28 PM
    I'm new to this site, and joined to try to get my own answer to this exact issue. I'm gay, and am absolutely in love with a straight, married man. We also work together. We spend a good portion of our work days flirting over MSN Messenger, or sending text messages. I'm very aware of the damage that this could cause to all involved, but my problem is that I don't feel that I can stop. It seems to be the taboo nature of our relationship that I'm so attracted to. He's also very good looking and sweet. Also, I find myself constantly questioning his 'straight' label. We've kissed each other countless times. I've given him oral sex several times. He's never done it to me. I've intentionally tried not to initiate this activity simply out of the guilt that I feel when I know I'm the cause. But he generally doesn't have much problem in initiating. I guess this isn't much of an answer to your problem... just another guy that understands it.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Sep 21, 2009, 07:46 AM
    Its best in a general sense to give anyone who appears to be attached such as this a pass.

    Remember if they will fool around on someone else with you, your time will come when they foool around on you with someone new.
    basti's Avatar
    basti Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Jul 31, 2011, 11:43 AM
    I think the guy was looking some way to test if he really interested to play with him. Maybe it's a matter of sexual urgency where he can't control to offer something he wants playing with other guy/gay. Other thing is about curiosity, they're exploring things that they've never been experienced before. We have saying that, "temptations are irresistable". For me, the straight guy was trying to seduce him just to fill his satisfaction.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
    Uber Member

    Jul 31, 2011, 03:24 PM

    This thread is 2 years old... look at the post dates before responding.

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