My boyfriend and I have been having sex for a while. I have had an orgasm a couple of times since we started having sex but now when we do it I can't get an orgasm. I also can't make myself get an orgasm when I'm alone. I use a vibrator and still nothing. He has tried everything we could possibly think of like a vibrating ring (which is what made me get off the very first time), female stimulation gel, and we have tried a lot of positions... nothings working... help me please!

How old are you?

I am 19 years old.

Okay, women don't just KNOW how to orgasm. They have to learn. Unfortunately, the younger you are, the harder it is to learn--probably because most women aren't comfortable with their own bodies until they are in their mid-20s.

What turns you on? Are you reading erotica, having a fantasy, whatever, while you're masturbating? Or are you just grabbing the vibe and going right to it? Are you touching yourself all over, or just paying attention to your girly spots without really being aroused ahead of time?

It sucks, not being able to orgasm. Been there, done that. I found the BIGGEST issue for me was that I wasn't relaxing enough. I was so focused on the orgasm that I wasn't paying attention to the fact that what was going on felt GOOD, and I should just focus on that instead of the goal of the orgasm.

Yeah--I know. It's like there's a pink elephant in the room, and I'm telling you not to think of the pink elephant. It's impossible to think yourself out of this in some ways, because in trying not to think of the pink elephant, you're thinking of the pink elephant.

Just relax. Enjoy what's going on and accept that you're not orgasmic---yet. Once you get to the point where you're just enjoying yourself without chasing the mysterious O, it's much more likely to happen.

This answer is very helpful. My boyfriend wants his penis to be thicker. From what I have read online there's not really anything he could do except have surgery, right? He wants some kind of pill that will make it happen.

Pills do not help with increasing penis size. I am not even certain if surgery helps with thickness.

To be honest, issues with size tend to be more of a mental hang-up than an equipment problem. Knowing how to use what he has will be better for both of you than trying to 'fix' something that is working the way it should be.

Your boyfriend needs to be satisfied with what he has--and learn how to use it to his advantage.

Seriously--he can't do anything about it, so why worry about it?

I personally find that I am far more likely to orgasm from oral sex than I am from penetration. Sometimes I orgasm - then we cool down for a bit, kissing caressing etc

After a bit we start all over again, this way I am much more likely to orgasm again from my partner being inside me, and he gets to orgasm without feeling like he hasn't 'done it' for me.

It makes love making last longer and loads more enjoyable and there is an increased chance of developing a lasting sexual connection because you have slowed it all down, you know what you both like and there is no pressure.

I am no expert, I can only talk from personal experience but sometimes saucy flirting before can be a massive turn on - like sending (probably via email) each other 'dirty' pictures of what you would like to do with each other - it builds excitement.

I have read that most of women's excitement and therefore orgasm, is in our heads. I personally agree with this and find that if we have been exchanging dirty texts and pictures for a while before I get home, I reach orgasm very fast from minimum stimulation because in my head I am so excited about the thought of making love.

Of course it can't always be slow and mind blowing, but try experimenting with thinking about sex beforehand and see if that helps.