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    auntie_ray_ray's Avatar
    auntie_ray_ray Posts: 13, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Nov 25, 2006, 11:11 AM
    I cant have an orgasm
    Ive never had an orgasm during sex. When I first stared having sex I didn't think anything of it because I was new at everything. Im a few years older now and a little more experienced. Ive only been with 3 people but the guy I'm with now I have been with for a while and we've been sexually active for a month. Altogether I've had sex like 10 times and I know that's not that much or anything but my friends have all had orgasms and they just lost their virginities and haven't had sex even 5 times. I just don't get it I mean I've had an orgasm before, by myself and from oral sex but never during sex. Its not like I'm uncomfortable with my sexuality either. I don't know what to do.:(
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,278, Reputation: 5644
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    #2

    Nov 25, 2006, 11:21 AM
    Many women do not have vaginal orgasms. Only orgasms from clitoral stimulation whether it be through masturbation or oral sex. This is not unusual and you are definitely not alone.

    It may be that you are one of these women, or it could be that you are concentrating too much. You just need to relax and enjoy the moment. Don't think so hard about having an orgasm, it might just happen then.
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
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    #3

    Nov 25, 2006, 04:03 PM
    Being a man, I can't tell you how to have an orgasm, but I can tell you that if I was your lover I would definitely want to know of your concern. If your man is kind and generous, he will want to do whatever he can to bring you pleasure and sexual fulfillment, but he needs to know what's going on. Communicate and experiment, then communicate and experiment some more. Read some of the other threads on the subject in this forum. There are some good suggestions there. In my experience, the most potent killer of sexual satisfaction is ambivalence. Unless both of you are wholeheartedly willing and unreservedly eager to be sexually involved, at least one (and probably both) will be unsatisfied to some degree, orgasm or no orgasm. If your partner is insecure and/or selfish, he may not be receptive to your concerns, but if that's the case, you're better off finding it out sooner rather than later, so be brave and talk to him about it. Chances are, he'll take it as a challenge and be more than willing to do whatever it takes.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,278, Reputation: 5644
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    #4

    Nov 25, 2006, 05:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by auntie_ray_ray
    my friends have all had orgasms and they just lost their virginities and havent had sex even 5 times.
    First of all, stop worrying about your friends. They could just be telling you this, you weren't there, you don't know if they really had an orgasm or not. Remember, people like to brag about their sexual exploitations.

    Relax, talk to your partner, not your friends. Let him know what you like. You have to tell him, he can't guess.

    Be open and honest with your feelings.
    kristin7189's Avatar
    kristin7189 Posts: 7, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Dec 8, 2006, 07:38 PM
    I was the same way when I first started having sex, probably for about the first 20 times. Then I asked my boyfriend to do some of the things he did while fingering me during sex, like playing with my and such. It turned out to be so amazing! It helped me to feel it in both the AND the g-spot! After that sex was amazing, and so much more comfortable for both of us. Don't be afraid to talk about it with your partner, and ask him to try new things. Also try fingering yourself while he's inside you... show him how its done!
    letmetellu's Avatar
    letmetellu Posts: 3,151, Reputation: 317
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    #6

    Dec 8, 2006, 10:35 PM
    Try this... Lay on your stomach with a pillow under your thighs, have him on top of you and as he is trying to make you have an orgasm reach underneath and play with your clitoris... this may take some practice but it will be well worth the effort
    pookiebear's Avatar
    pookiebear Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Sep 11, 2009, 09:11 PM
    I'm so glad I'm not alone I'm 43 years old been married 3 times and had 2 kids and I've never had a orgasm other than by oral sex , masturbation or a sex toy I have been fakeing it for years and never told anyone when I think it should be that time I yell out and act like I'm have a orgasm I have ask one doctor about it but got no straight answer I have been with this husband for 10 years and just found out he cheated on me just like the others did cause I didn't won't to have sex why I should I there's no fun in it for me there's a pill for everything but this maybe someday someone will make one until then what

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