Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask

    Boyfriend never wants sex but always masturbates!

    Asked Dec 13, 2013, 07:26 PM 1 Answer
    My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years, and when we first started dating, we would have sex every day. He is 24 and I am 21. Now I'm lucky if I get it once every three weeks. I go out of my way to give him head, yet he doesn't do anything for me. When we do have sex, it lasts a minute then he just goes to bed. (It used to last at least 20 minutes sometimes over an hour and would be the best sex we've ever had). He hasn't given me an orgasm in over a year! He will watch porn daily though. He always has excuses whether he's tired or his back hurts.. But I think he is choosing masturbation over me.

    Once I surprised him when he got out of the shower, I dressed up in fishnets, lingerie, and 6 inch heels and he literally ignored me and went on Facebook. A few times when we were on the couch I just took off my pants and spread my legs and started playing with myself in front of him and he would tell me to stop. Then it would turn into a fight because I would say if it was another girl he'd be interested. This has really lowered myself esteem. I will say that I am an attractive girl. I had the body of a physique model and am covered in tattoos, pretty much his dream girl (so he says). Yet he would rather get his rocks off to other women and his hand. He actually looks at other women more than he looks at me now.

    I have tried talking to him about this numerous times and he always agrees yet I get nowhere. I've even offered to try new things and even watch it with him and still, nothing. Now I am 8 months pregnant and feeling more insecure about my body than ever and he isn't helping. (Even when we were trying to conceive, I had to basically beg him and tell him this is the only chance this month when I was ovulating). We won't have much time together once our son is born and I have pretty much given up on our sex life. I'm about to cut him off completely just to spite him. He doesn't even look at me anymore. It's hard to believe that there was a point where I was turning him down.

    I'm just in need of some advice. I'm sick of going to bed alone every night and when we are together we barely even talk and all he does is go on the Xbox or on Facebook. I am trying so hard not to stress myself out for my sons sake, but my boyfriend is making it impossible.

    In addition: he had the nerve to tell me that I should suck him off more and he doesn't think asking for head 3-4x a week is unreasonable. Meanwhile I get nothing except disappointment and rejection. He ran me to the point of getting jealous every time he acknowledges another female because I never get that kind of attention from him. When I did get attention and affection from him, I didn't care. But now every time he watches porn or checks out a girls butt or chest in public, I feel even worse about myself. I feel undesirable and unattractive.

    He likes to blame my low self esteem on traumatic childhood experiences which I'm sure has a lot to do with it, but a lot of it also has to do with him. He neglects our relationship in more ways than just one and since there is going to be a baby in the picture, it's not as simple as just breaking it off. (I'm aware that we made that choice and regardless of what happens with us, I still won't regret it. I'm going to be a mother and I couldn't be happier, do don't bother with that lecture).
    Last edited by talaniman; Dec 14, 2013 at 08:13 AM. Reason: Edited after merging 2 posts.
    Search this Question
    Share |
    1 Answer
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 51,556, Reputation: 10717
    Expert
     
    #2

    Dec 14, 2013, 08:53 AM
    While I fully understand the emotional needs of a pregnant female I also know that young guys may not get the need for more attention and understanding they need to provide. They aren't pregnant. Most feel that they have done their part and just relax and wait for the big moment. That's your guy, he just doesn't understand your growing needs and the changes you are going through.

    Tell your partner that you need to vent, and he should say nothing while you do and give you a big hug when you are done, and until you deliver, he has to do this listening thing with a hug after every other day.

    Sometimes young people are so focused on their own reality and needs they lose the connection of the mind and no longer appreciate the little small things that they can share. Like watching TV and not talking, or making a bigger deal over personal habits that have little to do with the bigger picture. You both right now are being selfish, and a pregnant female has a right to be.

    So stop assuming he has a clue about what your mind, body, and spirit is going through. Or what you want done about it. Expect to be emotionally overwhelmed by every issue in your life at the same time. If my solution for you to vent regularly doesn't work, send your husband here for me to school him on the fine points of future dad 101. Be glad too.

    He probably needs some venting skills too.
    Helpful

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search

Add your answer here.


Check out some similar questions!

My boyfriend does not want to have sex with me but masturbates often. [ 23 Answers ]

I have been with my boyfriend for two years. For the first little while we had sex often. Then all of a sudden he started to make every excuse in the book not to. His back was sore, his hips were sore, his shoulder was sore, and now its his knees... I am so sick of the excuses, there are a million...

My boyfriend masturbates instead of having sex with me [ 11 Answers ]

My question is actually two-fold and has been asked in other threads, but I don't feel that my situation has really been covered. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months and have been sexually intimate from the beginning. However, he has never been able to achieve an orgasm while...

My boyfriend masturbates after sex [ 8 Answers ]

My boyfriend masturbates behind my back, even after we've had sex. He knows how I feel about it but he continues to do it! Last night he made an excuse to get up and use the computer, I caught him masturbating again... I relented and gave him a oral and reminded him he doesn't need to do these...

Boyfriend doesn't want sex but masturbates [ 5 Answers ]

I am in the same boat as you. My boyfriend does not want to have sex with me either. He likes oral and I cannot stand to give oral to any guy. What do I do? I do not expect oral from him and do not ever ask for it. If I ask for it all the time or make inuendoes then he says Im nagging him about it....

My boyfriend masturbates but does not want to have sex with me [ 6 Answers ]

Hi I really need help and some answers! I have been dating my boyfriend for just over a year We had sex for the first three months He always had difficulty ejaculating, but then there were times that it was Ok Within 3 months into the relationship we figured he was a minor depressive ...


View more questions Search