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    greenlady17's Avatar
    greenlady17 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #1

    Aug 3, 2011, 05:28 PM
    My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me anymore.
    We're both 20 and have been together for a year and a half. Up until three months ago, we had a good sex life. We would both initiate sex (he more than I). I was satisified. Now, he won't initiate anything at all. I've asked if it was me or if I could do anything differently, but he says he's stressed and tired. I've tried the sexy clothes and underwear but that doesn't seem to make a difference. If we do have sex, its after I've started it and kept it going. I feel so unattractive and I don't know what to do.

    Please help me!
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
    		  
    #2

    Aug 3, 2011, 06:09 PM

    He already told you what the problem is. He is stressed and tired-two of the biggest libido limiters there are. Another major limiter is 'pressure'. The more pressure is applied the less he is going to want to have sex.

    Do you know what is causing him stress and why he is tired? Is there any hope for less stress in the near future?

    Don't take it personally. Slow times happen in long term relationships for a variety of reasons from stress to medical.

    Being understanding and giving him time to relax can work wonders. Enjoying being together whether sex is involved or not can help too.
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
    Ultra Member
    		  
    #3

    Aug 8, 2011, 09:19 PM
    Cat's right.

    Why don't you spend more time helping him relieve this stress? Give him a massage, etc.

    Has something happened within the last three months to create stress?
    cattycasey's Avatar
    cattycasey Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
    		  
    #4

    Sep 2, 2011, 05:26 AM
    You should open up lines of communication to understand what has been stressing him out so much. It could be as simple as a work/school related stress. Or it could be as severe as a relationship related stress - is he having doubts about you two? You'll never know this unless you communicate, and never ever jump to conclusions! Just ask him what's going on, and be a supportive girlfriend. It will mean more to him that you're there to comfort him emotionally than sexually if he's really having a tough time.
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