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iiheartloserrrs · Feb 10, 2007, 09:29 PM

There's been a few guys that I've dated... and on the 2nd or 3rd dates they want to have sex? I hate one night stands and I don't want to have sex unless I'm in a relationship! When I go on my "so call" dates they always end up taking me back to their house for a "so call" late night movie? They would start kissing me and ill pull back and say no but they don't seem to know the word "NO"? These are guys I meet and hardly even know them! They would try to seduce me to have sex but I just still pull away and say "stop"! The guys would always say "why not??" or "i thought we had something good going on?? and i would just tell them "IM NOT Going to HAVE SEX WITH YOU! " and after that they would begg and begg me for sex?? i hate it, and then ill feel bad and just let them "do" me! Trust me I don't enjoy it at all! What should I do? I think I give up too quick? I minus well be a whore? Haha

Fr_Chuck · Feb 10, 2007, 09:34 PM

Well you are not going to like what I have to say, but you are just "letting them do you" and you are calling them losers??

Where is respect for yourself and dignity to say and mean no.

And where is saying no about going back to their house on the 2nd date.

And of course the prostitute has a pocket full of money at the end of the night.

Set your standards and go by them, tell them they are pitiful and stand by your standards. If not you are merely playing their game because they expect you to after the beg, they beg because they have done it a dozen times and it works for them.

TheSavage · Feb 10, 2007, 09:55 PM

Try looking at it this way -- would you want to commit yourself to a guy that would pressure a woman that way?
Why feel bad that they are horndogs? That's their problem not yours -- till you let them get a bit -- then if you get std`s its your problem to. And no, condoms are not 100% effective.
Tell them if they want to watch a movie --thats what theaters are for. That would relieve a bit of the pressure

JoeCanada76 · Feb 10, 2007, 10:27 PM

You may as well be a whore. Do not get mad at me for repeating this but your absolutely right. Why do you want to be a whore? You let them do you, you know how immature and childish this sounds. Your not mature enough to have a honest relationship or even trying to push for a relationship your going to get burned and already got burned. Your not mature enough to have a relationship your not old enough to have sex. It takes two and you letting them do it shows how low you think about yourself. You stand your ground, one day you will find somebody that wants to be with you because of who you are on the inside and will not push the issue. Anybody that does push the issue about sex, needs to be tossed out into the garbage heap they deserve to be in, but not all the blame is with these guys but with you excepting.

When are you going to grow up?

Joe

iiheartloserrrs · Feb 10, 2007, 11:40 PM

OMG! I'm *speechless* now =(
aniwayse thanks you...

valinors_sorrow · Feb 10, 2007, 11:51 PM

Truth be told here, all men were too fast for me but then I figured out I was really sloooow. But who won me was "Mr Patience." LOL I think what some of the guys here might have been trying to say but didn't get across completely is you may need to modify some of your behaviors. Guys can and do act like horndogs sometimes but the way they get empowered typically is they take cues from the girls. So now is the time to look at what you do that other girls might not be willing to do since it gets such poor results. I like Savage's suggestion about more public dates and saving house visits for much much later. You might want to examine closer who you are meeting and figure out how to get asked out by a better class of guys-- a lot of that can be influenced by style of dress or your demeanor too. Just be sure you aren't egging them on and then shutting they down and you know if you are doing that or not -- its not nice or fair to do that. This is not to pick on you and its certainly not bad news if its something you're doing because whatever you're doing, you can change and get better results. Good luck!

JoeCanada76 · Feb 11, 2007, 12:04 AM

My wife and I became friends first. Best friends. We waited almost two years before becoming sexually intimate. So waiting, being patient and finding that right person is important and will pay off, but with you excepting what you have right now, and trying to find love in the wrong places you have nothing but heartache in your future. Please look at these posts and change the direction of your life and believe you will be thankful and happy you have people here who tell it like it is, to help you and guide you and hopefully you will start to see yourself in a better light.

Joe