OK I was in a very weird situation with an older person who claimed ot be my boyfriend for 4 years... though he refuses to have sex with me ever... he has only or mostly abused and mentally torture dme for fun... he gets his kicks out of doing this and is some kind of a twisted sadist... he uses me as a 'puppet' or 'submissive' on the side to degrade... but claims he is madly in love with me and no guy can love me the way he can (yeah right)... he never let me stay at his place and kicked me out after a night-- he's not married he just gets off on degrading me... for years I went through hell/horror not undrestanding his issues... and being baffled at the fact that a 55 year old freak won't have sex with a young gorgeous girl... I know he can 'get it up' or perform... hes a photographer and has had sex with many models... and taken them on trips... he was even taking women on 'trips' when I first met him yet he never took me anywhere and again just used me to torture on the side basically---long horrible story... right now we are just acquaintances but he's trying to gain the control back or manipulate... by claiming he 'loves me' so much and is saying I have to acknowledge he's my boyfriend or he won't talk to me anymore... (im only talking to him or care with the hopes of giving him kittens back he gave me because my parents won't let me keep them anymore)... and he was homeless so I had to take them in (or so the pathological liar says)... so then it goes back to me saying... u haven't ever had sex with me and you want to say you're my boyfriend? I'm a virgin yes but its not hard to deflower a 32 year old virgin... this nutcase however... purposely didn't and still doesn't want to have sex with me... I'm not sure if his reasons are for 'sexual control over a beautiful woman.. being able to deprive her to a point of insanity and cruelty"...or it makes him feel powerful for a beautiful girl to be begging him to have sex with her, while he says "no"....he says.."why would I want to F**K YOU"? you're CRAZY? why would i want to F*** a retarded girl? you don't do THIS to me or that to me...now you want me to do MORE things to you? he acts as if f**king me is a chore or gift and yes narcissists feel that way about their 'partners' but not to an extent where they NEVER had sex with them and this narcissist and sociopath was EXTREME....

his cruelty has seeped through for four years and he's even said "you're going to be a virgin for the next five years" mocking me....he even tells me to go get laid by others guys or have them 'break me in"... which is horrid... he even says "oh you'd be glad if you got RAPED...you'd say OH MORRRRE MORRE"... hes a very sick evil sick person... shockingly cruel... he refuses sex with me ever then mocks me about it-- what he has done to me is even worse than rape almost.. b/c he made me jealous of raped people because at least they had 'sex' in some form... as sick as that sounds... I can't meet another guy because its like I'm cursed and I can't meet anyone... or get a BF so I can lose my virginity and kick this sociopath to the curb... but he's still 'somehow' in my life... and the only thing he does is give me oral sex in one boring position and that's it? I'm a really beautiful woman and a model... and its shocking... he won't do anything to me and acts as if "well if you want me to do THIS to you you have to do THIS for me"... thn he brags about how much he PLEASES me orally and how no one can please me like that---its so sickening disgusting disturbign bizarre decrepid and traumatizing... it all is scary... another theory was that he is some kind of a witch/warlock and he wants me to stay a virgin because he feeds off my pure energy... but what could be the reason this maniac refuses sex with me... b/c he can't perform well or would be able to perform well enough--insecurity maybe? Or he just purposely gets off on depriving me of sex and tormenting me in that way? Its so confusing and strange... baffling... he definitely wants to deprive me of sex... or acts as if he's too good to have sex with me... ie being a sociopath I'm an 'object' to him and a victim and nothing else... but a victim to an extent of "i wont have sex with you ever"? And this maniac will say "baby i love you so much...honey I love you...let's get married".. and has asked me to marry him many times... again mostly manipulation control lies... but still... his behavior is so disturbing and extreme I've never heard of this... and this is a freak who will have sex with ANYTHING that breathes... it seems... old, young, ugly fat.. anything turns him on... he's a sex addict and a sociopath... its scary and weird...

Also being a narcissist and a very twisted one I don't know if he's reenacting some childhood scenario of someone rejecting him... sexually... or other women rejecting him at some point... it seems he really wants to degrade me to a sick extreme... such as "who wants to f*** you"? And I'd never f*** you?? To make me feel extremely low... and most women I'm sure would ditch him and go have sex with someone else... but of course... I'd never do that because I can't or wouldn't want to unless it was a boyfriend... but for him he wouldnt' care because he would have that 'control' and it would be under his control because he rejected me and made me do it... so it would make him feel 'powerful'... and I also wonder if it's for his sick ego... just to feel more powerful... in sexually frustrating a beautiful woman... and narcissists do that to their 'partners' but again... not to this extent of no sex ever... he seems to be glad to make me suffer and has even said "i love to watch you suffer" thruogh text and well tons of other awful things... so part of it too is making me suffer by depriving me and mentally and sexually tormenting me through this narcissistic horror of "im your boyfriend but i wont f*** you"... youre such a loser etc... he's even said once... ie called me while he was with another girl or pretending to be with another girl saying "youre such a loser even your BOYFRIEND won't F*** you"... again just more N horror and trauma... designed to seep into you... and really traumatize you to another level... and he brags about women he has sex with and gets 'laid' BTU then calls me a cheater for platonically 'hanging out with guys' though he and I are not dating to me... but then will talk about how he met someone and had sex with her... then will say he's lying to cover up but being a psychopathic narcissist will try to live up to his disgusting 'facade' of "i dont cheat YOU CHEAT"! You're a CHEATER! Which is just a façade... but still to me this no sex thing is beyond cruel so sick and crazy disgusting on another level... but even more shocking that to this day... 4 years later... this maniac is STILL saying this to me... (we don't live together ro see each other much or are even dating anymore not that we ever were)... BTU still... still him refusing to have sex with me... or saying "well get my d*** hard and f*** me like most girls do"... im like... im a virgin?? You need to break me in? Very sick disgusting disturbing nutjob... and worse... his goal is to ruin or destroy my life manipulate me and even go to the cops and use the legal system to ruin me in extreme ways... but its all just so bizarre and disturbing... and then he says... baby I love you so much... I need you I can't live without you... etc... again all lies but still... some of the time... it sounds convincing... but I just can't believe that a narcissist would want to torment his victim to such extremes... and in such a low hideous way... he pretends to be a 'boyfriend' who will love hug cuddle kiss me... or give me oral sometimes.. ie this mental manipulation so he can then manipulate and blame guilt me by calling me a cheater... but won't have sex with me and just wants to control dominate and torment me for fun

The psychology behind what he is doing is really horrid... to a female... esp a very beautiful one who seeps sexuality... im a very hot girl and he brags about how 'hot' I am.. and says "youre the most beautiful woman ive ever seen"... and talks about it all the time... yet you're so hot but I won't f*** you... and I love you baby but I won't f*** you BTU I'll do everyone else just not you... so extreme and horrific... to me its just crazy and weird... and I'm sure there are various reasons as to why he won't have sex with me or maybe just one or two but trying to decipher it has been a mystery for years... or even being a male how he holds it back and I guess since he's the narc with the control he has what he wants-- the control so it doesn't matter to him...

Actually, this sounds like a very normal BDSM relationship, if you are letting him think that you are enjoying and desiring this type of relationship.

But it definitely sounds as if you do not enjoy this.

So why are you still with him? Quit seeing him. Tell him you do not want to be with him any more.

And how old are you by the way?

Because if you were born in 99 as your screen name indicates, you need to call the police and stay away from this man

Its not bdsm... he thinks of me as a 'slave' and submissive but not what I want.. its like a sadistic thing of a predator doing to a victim... hes been in my life for a few years now and is very controlling manipulative to an extreme... though we are just distant acquaintances its still taking place--for various reasons... it's a sociopath just wanting to dominate someone... to an extreme... im in my 30's but if I say I don't want to talk to him... like any control freak there are consequences.. and a long story but the reason I'm mostly dealing with him right now is for these cats he gave me because I dotn want to give them away and want to give them back to him... because my parents won't let me keep them I live ina place they own, and I'm hoping he'll take them in for a bit and maybe I can sneak them back in with me.. no one else I know will take them... regardless... he's a narcissist/sociopath so any interaction with him is destructive... but when it comes down to the point where he's trying to lure me back in or gain control... and it comes down to him trying ot manipulate that he's my boyfriend... then "still" saying he won't have sex with me... its just crazy and weird.. and asking me to marry him but won't have sex with me-- too crazy and baffling... and there has to be one or a few reasons as to why... and of course I don't desire it-- that's why he does it because he wants me to suffer obviously.. b/c he wants to do to me what I hate... which is what most narcs do... torment people like that...

I don't know mcuh about bdsm... u say this is normal in that? I know they deprive people of things... I guess and people enjoy the deprivation? Or the abuse or humiliation... but do they usually deprive people infinitely? And not give them that thing ever? If that does happen then that makes sense... or do they give them that thing eventually if they really want it... this person is using that in an extreme way I guess by totally depriving me but also pretending he's a boyfriend... but if it is like bdsm then... it kind of makes sense then... but I'm not sure since I'm not that familiar with it all

It depends on a lot of things. How old are you?

And IF you are over 18 it is YOUR choice. Not his.

If you are NOT over 18 it is ILLIGAL and he needs to be in prison!

No its not my choice.. if I'm over 18... its no one's choice to be abused or mistreated... but now that I'm reading up on it... this is exactly what he does or is embodying... he makes me dress a certain way.. claiming I only do it because he rewards me with oral sex for it... not why I did it but he's created me to be a submissive in a bizarre sick way... against my will... but embodies everything that represents BDSM... he bites a lot... biting, sexual sadism... and makes me scream in pain... he likes to hurt me... reject me sexually dominate and torment me mentally... and oppress me mentally too and sexually... however in most BDSM situations... there is sex... so this person is still a total freak and not normal... however I think or know he is a submissive to others or has been or likes doing household chores such as he moved in with me at one pt and wudnt touch me but wanted to be my maid and just clean for me, what a stuipd sick freak... yes he claims I'm his 'submissive' and he's my master.. but its not of cousre even a normal reenactment of a warped bdsm type relationship... its still twisted and decrepid... and the sociopath is a freak...

Its YOUR choice because you could walk away. But you don't you made the choice to remain.

So explain to us why you refuse to leave.. You are an adult... you obviously have free use of a computer... so you aren't being held as a captive against your will. You are a adult... and could pack a bag and walk out the front door and never return.

This is a serious question... you complain about a situation... yet you refuse to leave it. Why?

You aren't even married.

You're putting up with this abuse for some KITTENS?

I think you should see a counselor...

Sophia99 - are you seeing how this and your other post are beginning to tie together? There are a lot of issues at hand here. Most of this seems to be something you could put an end to if you really desired it out of your life.

You still have yet to tell us HOW OLD ARE YOU?

I saw you say 'IF I was over 18' but you have yet to tell me how old you are

Actually reading your other posts I am inclined to believe you may need more help then what we can offer.

Or you are a troll.

She's 32. Says it in the first post I think

"It's not hard to deflower a 32 year old?" What does that even mean... either you are a virgin or you aren't...

She won't be replying HH, Sophia has been banned.

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Quite understandably too. Between this and her other post, she needs some counseling.

You missed the posts she made that had to be removed (likely a major reason for the ban)... I agree.. if she was for-real (which I doubt)... councelling is definitely in order.

Darn! I always miss the good stuff!