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    Brainztormer's Avatar
    Brainztormer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jul 26, 2012, 07:55 AM
    24 yr old virgin seeking advice with a matter...
    Hi all, I'm feeling kind of embarrassed by writing this, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm a 24 yr old virgin. Just never found the right girl and also my social life isn't superb.
    Recently I came in contact with a couple through a website asking and searching for one guy to build up a connection with. I've had some friendly mails with the girl and then after a couple of mails we started talking on messenger.

    She was telling a bit about herself, and how she and her husband where looking for a guy to join in on the sex. She told she did it once before with the cousin of her husband for about 6 months. Then the cousin got a relationship with another women and they stopped.

    Sooo I told her a bit about me. That I had 2 girlfriends and that I never done something like that with my exes. Of course I was lying... I never had sex :S. But I was just too ashamed I was still a virgin as a 24 yr old.

    We had a nice conversation through messenger and she seems really nice. Also a big coincidence that she actually lives just 20 minutes away from my city. Now I just start to like her and we also exchanged pics. I just don't want to lie any more, especially when I get invited. Expecting me to have good sex while I'm actually a virgin...

    I really want to go through with this, but what is the best thing to do at this point?
    Should I just keep lying to her, or tell her the truth and have a big chance I get denied because I'm a virgin?

    May seem like a weird story, but it's true. I hope you all can shed some light on this matter and give me advice.

    Greetings, Jim
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7691
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    #2

    Jul 26, 2012, 08:19 AM
    You do not want your first sex experience to really be this do you ? And why not be proud that you have not had sex with anyone and have perhaps 2 or 3 STD.

    Also what is the husband wanting with this, to do things with you also ? Often this is the case.
    Or do you want your first time being watched by another man while you do it to his wife
    Brainztormer's Avatar
    Brainztormer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 26, 2012, 08:24 AM
    It's just that when I have some experience I'd probably feel more comfortable towards girls and not having to worry about having sex. I feel like the older I get, the weirder it is to tell it to the person you're dating with.

    Husband is straight, and likes to watch and have sex with her as well. I am proud in a way that ofc I didn't just slept with anyone while I had some chances. But now I feel like I'm almost 25 and I just get older and older. I'm just not sure if a girl can appreciate the fact that I'm 24/25 and tell her I'm a virgin?
    WindChill's Avatar
    WindChill Posts: 20, Reputation: 6
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    #4

    Jul 26, 2012, 11:52 AM
    I don't think your first time should be with someone who doesn't really care about you but that's just me. I just think it's something that should be special and remembered. Plus her pervy husband is going to be there watching and wanking, dude don't do that to yourself. Find a decent std free woman who will want more then just a one night stand. The fact that your a virgin at 24 / nearly 25 means nothing, most girls won't have a problem with it in fact they'll probably be more then eager to teach u :) haha that's where all the fun is. Don't throw your first time away, you only get one first time and you can't ever go back and erase it.

    Best of luck to you buddy :)
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,870, Reputation: 5429
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #5

    Jul 26, 2012, 12:05 PM
    I totally agree with WindChill. Don't sell yourself short and regret something for the rest of your life. You seem to be the only one with a problem in being a virgin. It's actually A Very Good Thing to us women.
    citrine710's Avatar
    citrine710 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Jul 26, 2012, 12:40 PM
    Well, chances are she'll completely freak. She sounds quite open and finds sex to be a source of stress free light hearted fun. Losing virginity CAN be a sensitive emotional experience you may want to wait to find the right person for. In my experience I just lost it to a guy I was seeing but I didn't love him, but it was fun for me and I didn't regret it.

    But if you have an idea of how you'd feel, it may be worth waiting to find someone (one person who's nice) to lose it to, but the more you explore your sexual side through some actual sexual experiences, keep in touch with her so if you find you do want the threesome, call her :P

    AND USE A CONDOM!
    Brainztormer's Avatar
    Brainztormer Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Jul 26, 2012, 12:56 PM
    Thank you for all your advice. Makes me feel better actually hehe. Yeah, guess I should wait for a girl who I like and who's okay with me being a virgin. And Citrine yes, ofc a condom :D.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #8

    Jul 26, 2012, 01:33 PM
    It sounds like you may be re-thinking joining them in their games. At least I hope so.

    I have nothing against threesomes when all parties are consenting adults and fully aware of what they are consenting to. I get the impression you may be an adult, but not aware of what you would be getting yourself involved in. This couple sounds like they enjoy their games and I wouldn't be so sure that the 'cousin' was the only person they have invited into their bedroom. That is assuming they are who and what they say they are. IF you were to go through with it, I think it should be after at least a couple of meetings in a more public place to set the ground rules. I would not trust anything decided on-line or through phone calls.

    Frankly, I think your first time should be with a woman who if she gets pregnant knows who the father is without a DNA test (birth control tends to fail when you least want it to.) Someone who is yours in mind, heart and body and you can share the full experience of caring and sharing with.

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