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    JustAnotherPill's Avatar
    JustAnotherPill Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Nov 24, 2014, 08:48 PM
    I want to be adopted..
    I'm 16, and I'm unhappy where ever I go.. and there's nothing I can do about it.. I feel so worthless, my family I don't really talk to them anymore.. they all seem like they don't care. I want to be adopted because that would give me the fresh start I'm wanting. So I cant forget about my past and just move on. Instead of hiding away in my room self harming. But I don't want to hurt my family, but I see no other way of trying to fix this problem..

    I'm tired of pretending to be someone who I am not, to make others around me happy.. that just means I'm living a lie.. and that I don't want to be living my life like this.. I want to be happy..

    But I just don't know how this is going to work out for me anymore..

    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,812, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert

    Nov 24, 2014, 09:02 PM
    How will adoption make everything better? You would bring your problems into a new family and continue to self harm any time things don't go well.

    People don't usually adopt kids in their teens. Plus, would your family allow you to leave? If you're being abused or hurt somehow, report this to a teacher at school, so action can be taken to help you.

    What's going on that's causing unhappiness?
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    Nov 24, 2014, 11:15 PM
    Adoption isn't possible unless your parents voluntarily give you up or abandon you. If that were to happen you would have to live in a foster home.

    People want to adopt babies, not teenagers. Teenagers come with baggage, babies don't. You are 16, you only have 2 years before you are an adult and can live on your own. For now you need to get into counseling to deal with the depression you are experiencing. Adoption, if it were it possible, will not cure your depression.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,302, Reputation: 7692

    Nov 24, 2014, 11:24 PM
    Exactly how is self harming, helping or fixing anything, It merely adds a lot of additional problems, and solves nothing,

    No you are not going to be adopted, First your parents will have to agree, and second a family will want to take a teen with emotional problems and a history of self harming, Just not going to happen.

    If you were taken away from your parents, you would end up in a foster care program, normally a lot worst than what you have now.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Nov 24, 2014, 11:49 PM
    I'm wondering about your ID... are you taking medications? Would you mind telling us which ones? Are you getting any talk therapy?

    There's a funny thing about self harming - it doesn't make people close to you care. It may have at first, but after a while, your family feels hopeless about how to help you, and then uncomfortable about nothing working, and finally irritated that somehow it's their fault but they don't think it is. They don't know why you are unhappy enough to hurt yourself. Can you tell us when and why this started?
    Chloe Edwards's Avatar
    Chloe Edwards Posts: 38, Reputation: 3

    Nov 25, 2014, 12:36 AM
    Why you don't like your past ? And why you fell like your parents don't care ? You are just 16 don't need to behave like this. Can you tell me what is making you sad that you want to get adopted ?

    Why you don't like your past ? And why you feel like your parents don't care ? You are just 16 don't need to behave like this. Can you tell me what is making you sad that you want to get adopted ?
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443

    Nov 25, 2014, 08:00 AM
    Almost every teenager I have ever met is either convinced they are already adopted (because they don't fit in with their families) or wants to be adopted "by someone who will understand them better". No one ever really understands teenagers--I was one once, and didn't feel like I fit in anywhere, and now that I am an adult, I admit that I don't 100% understand all of the issues facing teenagers today.

    Being adopted isn't going to fix that. Figuring out who YOU are, and learning how to live as yourself--those are parts of growing up. They just ARE. No matter where you go right now, you're going to be right there facing yourself and trying to figure it out.

    Instead of thinking of adoption, you need to talk to your parents about your self-harm, and about seeing a counselor to help you figure it out.

    And pretty much everyone is right about adoption, by the way. People want to adopt babies or small children. If they wanted to adopt older children, there would not be a VERY long waiting list for an infant, and there wouldn't be teenagers living their entire lives in the "system".

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