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    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    May 28, 2010, 09:40 AM
    I want to be adopted
    I have been having bad troubles with family and boys just now. I feel no one really loves me. Im all alone with no one to talk to. Crying myself to sleep every night! I want to die and I want a different family! :(
    ballengerb1's Avatar
    ballengerb1 Posts: 27,378, Reputation: 2280
    Home Repair & Remodeling Expert
     
    #2

    May 28, 2010, 09:43 AM

    How old are you and have you talked with anyone like a school counselor? Can we assume this is your biological mom and dad that you live with?
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #3

    May 28, 2010, 09:43 AM

    On a strictly legal level - you cannot be adopted unless your parents consent.

    What are your family problems - if you would like to share. You are totally anonymous here.

    Are there any adults you can talk to - teachers, other family members, clergymen?
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #4

    May 28, 2010, 02:38 PM
    I am 14 years old, school does not help, I live with my biological parents and there is just too much fighting I feel unloved!
    ZoeMarie's Avatar
    ZoeMarie Posts: 2,049, Reputation: 468
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    #5

    May 28, 2010, 02:47 PM

    Is there any family that you are close to? An uncle? Aunt? Grandparent? Are your parents fighting with each other or with you?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #6

    May 28, 2010, 03:14 PM

    If you are abused, report it to the police or childens services to be removed from the home.

    What exactly ( EXACTLY) is the problems
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #7

    May 28, 2010, 04:35 PM

    No one can help you without specific info - which we have requested.

    Again, you are completely anonymous.
    sparrow94's Avatar
    sparrow94 Posts: 9, Reputation: 2
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    #8

    May 28, 2010, 05:15 PM

    I know you may not realize this now, but just about every teenager has been in the same position you are in right now. Even though you don't see that your parents love you, the honest truth is that you individually possess their entire heart. They love you more than anything in the entire world. Don't you forget that. And about the boy thing, don't be afraid to wait for a guy worth falling for. And shield yourself off a little. Be careful. And remember, any guy who makes you cry is not worth your tears.
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #9

    May 29, 2010, 04:43 AM

    Thank you everyone for your help and understanding. I have never been abused and they are fighting with me and each other. Being caught in this situation makes me feel vunerable and almost unsafe in my own house. Your help is greatly received and I will take on any advice you all have
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #10

    May 29, 2010, 06:12 AM

    Sounds like your parents are having a rough patch in their marriage and you are getting caught in the crossfire. Are the arguments over little things, big things, every day stress? These are tough economic times and that alone can make people (at best) testy with each other.

    What are the arguments about boys about? Dating, not dating, they think you are dating the wrong boys for you?

    Are there no adults you can talk to, other family members?
    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,910, Reputation: 751
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    #11

    May 29, 2010, 07:51 AM
    Please know that you're at an age where it's normal to want space from your family, and when what they do that upsets you will feel magnified. You can't change the other people in your household but sometimes it helps just to know that you are doing your best in the situation. Recognize how unhappy you are being engaged in the arguing and commit to manage your part of it in a different way.

    I would suggest that you really think about what things you argue with your parents about the most. Is it doing homework? Doing chores? How you dress? If they have told you their expectations and you're constantly arguing about it, you are inviting those arguments by not respecting their wishes. So do the homework, do the chores without being asked, dress appropriately per their definition, not your own. Don't bait the arguments by breaking family rules, or rolling your eyes when they talk to you or other things that teens your age tend to do. I would guess that whatever it is that you argue with your parents about (I have no idea - the things I mentioned are just examples), you have the power to end the arguments in probably at least half of those things by simply honoring house rules.

    As for your parents' arguments with each other, stay out of it. Go in your room and put on your headphones, or go outside, exercise - whatever - just remove yourself from the situation and let them deal with their relationship with one another.

    Know that as others have pointed out, we are in the worst economic times the world has ever seen since the great depression, and most adults - pretty much everyone I know - have experienced huge financial losses. Our houses are only worth a fraction of what they used to be worth, our savings for retirement have lost a lot of value, our jobs are uncertain - it's really, really stressful for adults to worry about money. And whether that's the subject of an argument or not, the stress makes everything irritating to us sometimes. If you can just try to understand people are under stress and not at their best, you might find it easier to be compassionate and tolerant of other people's short fuses.

    Take care... things will get better for sure.
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #12

    May 29, 2010, 08:07 AM

    Bad breakup with someone I thought I loved and they fight about little things
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #13

    May 29, 2010, 08:10 AM

    Okay. Sounds like they are under stress (for whatever reason) and are bickering (which I find terribly upsetting). I am not good at living with constant tension and I would guess you aren't either.

    As far as the bad breakup - I'm sorry. That's rough at any age. Combine a breakup with a home situation which is tense, I can see why you are stressed.

    Is there some way you can get out of the house for a day, stay overnight with a relative, do whatever it takes to make you feel better? As far as breakups go, you just have to ride it out. I've been there.

    Let us know how it's going, okay?
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #14

    May 29, 2010, 12:49 PM

    Of course I will let you know. Thank you for kind words and encouaging advice. I have arranged a weekend away with a friend to Dundee. A weekend away shopping and having a good tim will do me well hopefully. Ill let you know how that's going throughout the weekend :) Sarah x
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #15

    May 29, 2010, 01:15 PM

    Sarah (if I may call you that) - just keep in touch because I am concerned about you. It makes me angry that adults (your parents) drag their children into their battles.

    You sound like a good person, a caring and sensitive person.

    Have a good time and come back and fill me in.
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #16

    May 29, 2010, 01:21 PM

    I will tell you everything. Thank you for being concerned about me. And yes you may call me Sarah :) x
    FyfeSx's Avatar
    FyfeSx Posts: 7, Reputation: 2
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    #17

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:33 AM

    Is back from her holiday away! Feels a lot better about herself but parents still fighting!
    Kitkat22's Avatar
    Kitkat22 Posts: 6,302, Reputation: 1191
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    #18

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:49 AM

    I hope things get better and they will. You are in my prayers and I can tell you this.. you're fourteen and it hurts when parents argue, especially when you can hear them.
    I know this sounds a little trite, but your fourteen and in a few years you'll start College.

    This thing with your parents won't last forever. Parents argue although I don't think they should do it in front of you. Maybe you should tell them calmy how you feel and how it is affecting you.

    Wish I could be fourteen again. Hang in there .
    Blessings... Kit
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #19

    Jun 2, 2010, 10:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by FyfeSx View Post
    Is back from her holiday away! Feels alot better about herself but parents still fighting!

    Good that you feel better about yourself - try to hold onto that thought.

    Keep saying, "It's not my fault, it's not my fault."

    And let us know how things are going for you.

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