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    colie298's Avatar
    colie298 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Mar 8, 2010, 09:06 AM
    Want to adopt torn in 2.
    My older sister put my 3 year old nephew up for adoption. I'm 19 years old and I want to adopt him since he knows his family. My boyfriend does not want me to adopt him he told me I'm stupid if I do. I don't know what to do. Family comes first but I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I don't want to lose him. I do understand that if we do break up because of this then we weren't meant to be. Please help me.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #2

    Mar 9, 2010, 08:39 AM

    How does your SISTER feel about you adopting your nephew?

    I know that when I chose adoption, I *deliberately* went outside of the family. If I couldn't raise my child, I didn't want my cousin or aunt or whoever to raise my child right under my nose, and have the pain of the child calling someone else mommy, or never really knowing who I was.

    I suggest a long talk with your SISTER about this before even worrying about your boyfriend---and then a talk with a lawyer about private adoption.
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    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #3

    Mar 9, 2010, 09:14 AM

    Why go the adoption route? Would it not be better, then, to get guardianship of your nephew until your sister is better able to care for him?

    What's the whole story here?
    colie298's Avatar
    colie298 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 9, 2010, 09:50 AM
    I can't go for guardianship my sister will never get himm back he has been in and out of foster care his whole life. Social services will only adopt him out to immediate family
    colie298's Avatar
    colie298 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Mar 9, 2010, 09:50 AM
    I can't go for guardianship my sister will never get himm back he has been in and out of foster care his whole life. Social services will only adopt him out to immediate family
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #6

    Mar 9, 2010, 10:22 AM

    I would start with social services then--and find out what exactly you need to do.

    Your boyfriend is either going to have to deal with reality--that you have family to take care of--or he'll have to leave. At 19, and having dated him most of your teen years, this may have been an eventuality anyway.

    One would think that if you've been dating that long that he'd understand your feelings on it.
    colie298's Avatar
    colie298 Posts: 23, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Mar 9, 2010, 10:42 AM

    Social services are pushing for me to get him. They are doing a background check on me right now.
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