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    jammy23's Avatar
    jammy23 Posts: 545, Reputation: 0
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    #1

    Apr 19, 2016, 02:40 PM
    Someone (not me) looking for birth mother
    I saw this on Facebook. Someone is looking for her birth mother and family
    She gave the date of her birth and the year (1983) and the location
    (Albany, Ga) and said it was a closed adoption through and she gave the name
    Of the agency. I think it was legit and I would like to try and help.

    Any suggestions?
    paraclete's Avatar
    paraclete Posts: 2,704, Reputation: 171
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    #2

    Apr 19, 2016, 07:09 PM
    It is unlikely an agency would give information to a third party and they may have a policy of non disclosure. If you have the location of birth you may be able to research hospital records. Do you know if the birth was registered? I successfully researched my adoption and found my birth mother, however I did possess the adoption papers and could begin with her name, the rest of the trail was closed so I had to rely on electoral roles and writing to a number of possibilities. In the course of a search you can find facts you may not want to know.

    This person could start by contacting the agency, it may be possible they could pass a message to determine whether the birth mother wants contact
    jammy23's Avatar
    jammy23 Posts: 545, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Apr 20, 2016, 05:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by paraclete View Post
    It is unlikely an agency would give information to a third party and they may have a policy of non disclosure. If you have the location of birth you may be able to research hospital records. Do you know if the birth was registered? I successfully researched my adoption and found my birth mother, however I did possess the adoption papers and could begin with her name, the rest of the trail was closed so I had to rely on electoral roles and writing to a number of possibilities. In the course of a search you can find facts you may not want to know.

    This person could start by contacting the agency, it may be possible they could pass a message to determine whether the birth mother wants contact
    She doesn't know her mother's name... says it might be Mary so that's no help
    But I will suggest the hospital records because she does know the name of
    The hospital I gather you were successful... anyway, I will def share this. I
    Feel so bad for her... hopefully one method or another she will find her birth
    Mother. She thinks her mother was about 15 or 16 when she had her.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #4

    Apr 20, 2016, 07:28 AM
    Tread VERY lightly and carefully here. A birth mother has the right to privacy. And that supersedes the adoptee's rights. While there have been many instances of happy reunions there have been just as many where the mother wants nothing to do with the child and does not want the child imposing themselves on their current life.

    There are several adoption sites where adoptees can post that they are searching for a birth parent and birth parent's can search for their bio children. But this woman NEEDS to understand that she has NO right to impose herself on her birth mother without the birth mother's permission.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,273, Reputation: 5644
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    #5

    Apr 20, 2016, 07:42 AM
    I'm curious if you saw a random post from an adoptee looking for birth parents or if you actually know this person personally. If it's the former, you do nothing more than possibly share the post on your page.

    I am am related to one of those looking for birth parents that turned out badly once they were found.
    jammy23's Avatar
    jammy23 Posts: 545, Reputation: 0
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    #6

    Apr 20, 2016, 10:05 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm curious if you saw a random post from an adoptee looking for birth parents or if you actually know this person personally. If it's the former, you do nothing more than possibly share the post on your page.

    I am am related to one of those looking for birth parents that turned out badly once they were found.
    I saw it as a random post... I have no idea who this
    person is... I did share her post but it's my nature to try and help someone if
    the appear really desperate. Sometimes they need to know for medical reasons
    which is what I think of first (having been a nurse for decades)

    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm curious if you saw a random post from an adoptee looking for birth parents or if you actually know this person personally. If it's the former, you do nothing more than possibly share the post on your page.

    I am am related to one of those looking for birth parents that turned out badly once they were found.
    I saw it as a random post... I have no idea who this
    person is... I did share her post but it's my nature to try and help someone if
    the appear really desperate. Sometimes they need to know for medical reasons
    which is what I think of first (having been a nurse for decades)

    I just got a return email from her (she posted on FB) I was wrong, she doesn't
    know the name of the hospital she was born in and worse, the agency is closed and
    files were moved. The county office says they don't know where her file is. She's contacting state officials right now.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #7

    Apr 20, 2016, 11:23 AM
    I see these every day on Facebook, and a few of them are successful. But that's because someone saw the post who knows a relative, neighbor, nurse, doctor, adoption agency... something personal. You aren't going to have any luck that she hasn't already found, and asking US here waters it down to useless. Sorry
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,273, Reputation: 5644
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    #8

    Apr 20, 2016, 12:35 PM
    You saw it as a random post. Leave it alone. Don't do anything more. I am also a nurse who is married into a family full of adoptees, only one natural child out of 5 (4 adoptees altogether). You shared the post without even knowing if it was legitimate. Just move on.
    paraclete's Avatar
    paraclete Posts: 2,704, Reputation: 171
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    #9

    Apr 20, 2016, 10:03 PM
    It's obvious the trail is cold. This is where Facebook can be the source of more hurt than it is worth

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