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    I_my_kids's Avatar
    I_my_kids Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    May 12, 2012, 10:55 PM
    My sisters kids were adopted out and now they recently have contacted me
    First let me tell you my sisters story. My sister has had a long history of a drug addiction, and has 6 children n one on the way due anyday the sad thing is she lost custody of all of them the first two she took care of them till they were 2 and 10months then she got back n the drugs n one day left them with my mom n never went back for them the saddest thing is my mom also kept n took care if them for I want to say about almost 2years n than she lost custody of them because of one of the child's father who was trying to get cusotdy of them but was a alcoholic so my mom let the state take them because she couldn't get a hold of my sister n my was scared he woukd take them from her thank god the state disaporrved n ended up putting them in foster care n eventually were adopted out one day I ran in to them in the store n I on recognized him n asked him his name n he told yeah its his name n I asked him to find his mom so I coukd talk to her n I did n we had a simple talk they know they r adopted because they were adopted at 4 and 5 n still remember some of there past anyway I thinks the adooted mom felt uncomfortable but she asked me for my info n I give it to her and this was 4 years ago Ithought I was never going to hear from them n now just the other day she wrote me, I cried I'm so excited to write back just don't know what to say they asked in the letter for oicturs n sent me picturs n asked if I can remember anything about their past n parents n medical history because they are having physical n emotional concerns n I have asked everyone in my family n we have stories its just that I don't know how to tel them about my sister their bio mother I also have adopted her 3rd oldest child n I have allways let her see her when ever she wants n has more like a aunt n niece type of relation even though my daughter know sge is adooted n that is her real mother n I am her mommy foremost I just want my daughter adopted to have some type of conecction with them n I am so thankful of their family fir writing n sending pics and adking questions I know it must be hard for that family but they r getting older and want to know I just want to make sure I can give them the answers they need without making my sister looking bad n beable to keep contact in the future can anyone help with a little advice thanks
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #2

    May 13, 2012, 05:54 AM
    Not sure what advice you want. There is no way to not make your sister look bad. You have to give the facts, which is that she is a weak person who is subject to addictions and shouldn't be having children since she is incapable of caring for them.

    However, you can tell them they they have half siblings and other family who would like to get to know them better. You also need to make sure they understand that their adoptive parents are their immediate family, their mommy and daddy. That you have no intention of doing anything about that. You just want them to know they have an extended family as well.

    I don't know how you handled it in that initial meeting, but I commend you for not pursuing it and letting them make the next move.

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