[OCD738]

I wondered if a kid is adopted at birth or early infantcy is he or she usually less likely to care about it later in life? I have a cousin who was adopted and was happy to meet his birthmother recently at age 20 at the birthmother's request. They appear to be getting close as well. In his earlier years though he never cared about being adopted since his parents were the parents who adopted him at the moment of birth. Are most kids adopted at birth like this? I know there are always cases where one may be sensitive, but this showed how positive adoption can be and even ended in a reunion.
I see stuff about Reactive-Attachment behavior for kids who are adoption but am I correct that those cases are only when one is adopted at a later age? I would assume adoption as an infant does not create any memory and thus no emotional issues past those that anyone would have adopted or not.

[Fr_Chuck]

I think it is a lot in the way each child is taugh about it. If it is honest, the child is taught that they are extra special since they were chosen, regular kids well there parents are stuck with what they get, but an adopted chlld is more special since the parents picked him or her out of all the others.

I can't image why any adopted child would want to establish a relationship, since they already have real parents, the people who adopted and raised them

[J_9]

The answer to this question is as different as is every individual. My husband and two of his siblings are adopted. Each one of them views their adoption differently.

There is no one correct or incorrect answer. For the millions of adopted children you ask, you will get a million different answers.

[stevetcg]

I think it is alot in the way each child is taugh about it. If it is honest, the child is taught that they are extra special since they were chosen, regular kids well there parents are stuck with what they get, but an adopted chlld is more special since the parents picked him or her out of all the others.

I can't image why any adopted child would want to establish a relationship, since they already have real parents, the people who adopted and raised them

Well, if it is a domestic adoption, its more like the parents were chosen by the birth mother, not the other way around... but yeah.

All kids are special.

I know a lot of adopted kids, know a lot of adopting parents - by and large, no matter what the circumstances of the adoption, if the child is well loved by his or her adoptive parents, the history of how it worked out is more of a curiousity rather than an "issue".

[Synnen]

There is no such thing as a REAL parent--unless ALL parents are "real". Point out where the "imaginary" parent is before you start pointing out which is the "real" parent.

All adoptees are going to view this differently, and it really does not seem to have anything to do with age at the time of adoption, but with the feelings the adoptee has with their adoptive family.

I would say, though, that ALL kids have a chance of feeling displaced with their family, whether their family is adoptive or biological. I know PLENTY of people that were biological children of their parents that wondered if they were adopted, and plenty of adopted kids who never CARED that they were adopted and not biological.

Frankly, I think it comes down to parenting style and the adoptee's personality.