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Kristy_girl19 · Feb 17, 2007, 12:12 PM

So, I'm the aunt of the unborn child, he is to be due sometime in June 2007. The mother is unfit, I think she drinks, she hangs around people who smoke and party around her. She sleeps around and doesn't care of herself how she should. She is unwedd to my brother who I do believe is the father, how does he go about getting custody of the child? Please I need help from anyone, who knows what to do. She's a slut, and doesn't deserve a child! :mad:

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2007, 12:26 PM

First drinking, smoking and having sex is not by most of today's standards unfit. So this is not as easy you it may apear,

I had one case where the mother drank, used drugs, slept with men for money, and left minor childrend at home alone for long hours, she was still able to keep custody and merely got the court to award more child support to help pay for sitters and the such.

First of all the child has to be born, then he will have to ask for a DNA test and will have to file a motion for custody of the child though the court.

And of course one also has to question if she is so bad, why was this man having unprotected sex with her, so he is sleeping around also ? And does he also drink?

Kristy_girl19 · Feb 17, 2007, 05:00 PM

Ok, look here man. I really don't know how the hell that was suppose to help, I asked for hepl, not criticism. Who are you anyway? He thought he loved her, and she told him lies and he believed them. And NO. my brother doesn't sleep around. So people make mistakes, you have to live with the consequences and forgive them. And as far as that woman mentioned above, she could get her mothering rights taken, that person didn't try hard enough. So before you start giving advice how about you read up and educate yourself.

Nosnosna · Feb 17, 2007, 05:16 PM

It's extraordinarily hard to get somebody's parental rights taken away... Most of the cases I've personally been privy to have involved sexual abuse, and the rest have been either extreme physical abuse or high-end drug charges (manufacturing). Neglect is rarely enough to have rights terminated. Low end physical abuse, drug use, neglect... that's rarely worth more than a short-term removal.

The first step is to prove paternity. Once that's established, he files for custody. Even if he's granted full custody, chances are they won't terminate the mother's rights... she would have to be proven to be a manifest danger to the child's welfare. That means you have to have absolute incontrovertible proof of what you say she does and likely considerably more, and demonstrate that she has no desire to change her ways. That's not an easy thing to do.

The most likely outcome of all of this is that your brother will have visitation every other weekend, and pay child support for the next 18 years. With luck, all the stuff in court will serve as a wakeup call to the mother that she needs to change.

Oh, and lay off Chuck... he knows what he's talking about, and really is trying to help.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 17, 2007, 05:41 PM

Yes, this is called hard truth, the hard truth is that unless she actually does something bad to the child, drinking, smoking and sleeping with various men is not going to get the child taken away from her.

She will have to not feed, not clothe, and indanger the child in a manner that is considered a danger to the court, And even then, she may only lose custody temp while she is forced to do a parenting class, or take some rehab or something.

And sorry but if this girl is so bad, pure trash, then men who hang with her are wanting trash and that is just the plain truth, you are wanting to show this man as a saint, it isn't happening, He may be a lot better than her, but he did have sex with her unprotected, ( I would be having all sorts of test at this point myself)

You want advice, nothing to do at all, this is the issue that your newphew will have to do on his own, if he wants custody he will have to hire a very good attorney, most likely a private dectitive and follow this girl ( but only after the baby is born) and prove she is harming and neglecting the child.

He will have to first of all even prove he is the father, DNA test. Then get all the dirt on the women he can, and file in court.

But honestly unless she just does not feed or hits the baby, the majority of courts will still go with the mother. And about the best he can hope for will be visiatation and to pay child support to make sure the baby is taken care of.

And this is help, they is little to do now, Hire attorneys once baby is born, this will be costly because it will be a fight in court.

nya · Jun 24, 2007, 01:12 PM

Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck

First drinking, smoking and having sex is not by most of todays standards unfit. So this is not as easy you it may apear,

I had one case where the mother drank, used drugs, slept with men for money, and left minor childrend at home alone for long hours, she was still able to keep custody and merely got the court to award more child support to help pay for sitters and the such.

First of all the child has to be born, then he will have to ask for a DNA test and will have to file a motion for custody of the child though the court.

And of course one also has to question if she is so bad, why was this man having unprotected sex with her, so he is sleeping around also ? and does he also drink ??

Great answer!