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    ren4866's Avatar
    ren4866 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Sep 5, 2007, 06:03 PM
    I need to open adoption records on closed adoption
    :confused: I am looking for my son I keep hitting roadblocks today I found out it was a closed adoption I need to know how to get these records opened
    GV70's Avatar
    GV70 Posts: 2,918, Reputation: 283
    Family Law Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 6, 2007, 10:48 AM
    I do not want to disappointment you... but you cannot open the records.
    sharon2435's Avatar
    sharon2435 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Sep 19, 2007, 02:08 PM
    :confused: Sound easy, but once the child is adopted, its a done deal, unless the child was apoted thru family member and that's call PMC. Pray about, if the child was taken or given up for adoption, think about how you will hurt the other that is now caring for the kid. Pray can change alot,:confused:
    Quote Originally Posted by ren4866
    :confused: i am looking for my son i keep hitting roadblocks today i found out it was a closed adoption i need to know how to get these records opened
    nikki_22's Avatar
    nikki_22 Posts: 63, Reputation: 10
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    #4

    Sep 21, 2007, 01:41 PM
    Try online adoption websites. You can post info and look for people who may be looking for you. I'm adopted and looking for my bio parents(closed adoption also). Hope you find your son!
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
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    #5

    Sep 23, 2007, 10:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by ren4866
    :confused: i am looking for my son i keep hitting roadblocks today i found out it was a closed adoption i need to know how to get these records opened
    Well, I hate to disappoint you, but closed adoption is closed period. There is no way of opening these records.
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
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    #6

    Sep 23, 2007, 10:24 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by nikki_22
    Try online adoption websites. You can post info and look for people who may be looking for you. I'm adopted and looking for my bio parents(closed adoption also). Hope you find your son!
    Nikki, you will probably not have much luck, your name could have been changed as well as the location of birth. This is a fact, the two children we adopted have birth certificates showing me and my wife as the biological parents, and also was issued by the state we live in. and neither of them were borned there in that state. So you see what I am trying to tell you is a closed adoption will have many avenues, and short of illegally entering into the files (probably breaking and entering) then you will hit dead end after dead end. Sorry but that is how the system works.
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
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    #7

    Sep 23, 2007, 10:25 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by GV70
    I do not want to disappointment you...but you cannot open the records.
    Have to spread some around, but sealed is SEALED, so correct.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,268, Reputation: 5643
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    #8

    Sep 23, 2007, 10:28 AM
    The only way a sealed adoption can be opened is by way of a medical problem and then it will be unsealed by a court order only.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #9

    Sep 23, 2007, 09:39 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by sharon2435
    :confused: Sound easy, but once the child is adopted, its a done deal, unless the child was apoted thru family member and that's call PMC. Pray about, if the child was taken or given up for adoption, think about how you will hurt the other that is now caring for the kid. Pray can change alot,:confused:

    Not to be a horrible person or anything--but frankly, the adoptive parents shouldn't be "hurt" by a search and/or reunion.

    They had the care and love of their child--but someone else loved that child enough to choose adoption, and I can't blame them for wanting information on the child.

    The only person's feelings that should really be considered are her son's--if HE doesn't want a reunion, then that should be the end of it.

    Whether the adoptive parents are "hurt" by a search shouldn't be the birthparent's concern.

    That being said--it is EXTREMELY difficult to open records in a closed adoption. Laws are starting to change on this, but it's slow, and by the time most states allow it to happen, most of the adoptions will have been open or semi-open anyway.

    If this is the case of medical information, you can appeal to the courts in the county where you gave birth, and it's possible that records may be opened. If it's just a search for a reunion, to make sure your son is happy and healthy--well, your best luck then is to register in the county you gave birth, with the agency the adoption was done through, and with sites like adoption.com and adopteeconnect.com. That essentially takes the search out of your hands, though, and puts it in the hands of your son, who may or may not want to connect with you. Please be prepared to connect through a third party--your son may not want anything to do with you. You should probably also see a counselor that specializes in adoption (many have sliding scale fees) to make sure you understand where YOU stand emotionally and mentally BEFORE reuniting with your son.

    Good luck! I hope that things work out well for you.
    FeelSoNumbZombie's Avatar
    FeelSoNumbZombie Posts: 129, Reputation: 10
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    #10

    Sep 30, 2007, 03:48 AM
    Ren,
    Don't know how old the kid is? If he/she is an adult, go to www.adoption.com and register.
    If he/she is a kid, and you did not sign away your rights, go to a lawyer or legal aid. Or the department of social services. See where you are and what you can do first. Your adult? Child maybe searching for you as well.
    eepeesmom's Avatar
    eepeesmom Posts: 4, Reputation: 2
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    #11

    Oct 2, 2007, 01:31 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ren4866
    :confused: i am looking for my son i keep hitting roadblocks today i found out it was a closed adoption i need to know how to get these records opened
    What state did the adoption take place in? I too gave up a child for adoption almost 30 years ago and it was in a closed adoption state (alabama). I have been told by the agency that handled the adoption that the original birth certificate is sealed right after birth and a new one issued. The only way to have them opened is that the adopted child has to request it after age 19. The best I can do is write a letter to my child and they will place it in the file. If she ever tries to get a copy of her original birth certificate they will then give her the letter. It appears that it is all up to the child. If the adoptive parents never tell the child that they are adopted, I guess there is no way to find them. I am hoping there is someone out there that knows of other avenues to get around this. I am not expecting anything at all, I just need to know that my daughter grew up happy and is doing well. I think I can find peace just knowing that.

    Jan
    FeelSoNumbZombie's Avatar
    FeelSoNumbZombie Posts: 129, Reputation: 10
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    #12

    Feb 28, 2008, 12:47 PM
    Eepeemom,
    I know that its been awile, but I just wanted to add. You can as well register with ISRR . com , Index of Search and Reunion Resources
    Adoption.com - Information on International, Domestic, Child & Agency Adoptions, Stories, Laws - 's reunion registry.
    Numerous adoption databases's, that are free, etc.
    Join an adoption search and support group/network like:
    The ALMA Society
    If you know if there was an adoption agency involved, contact them. Write a letter to keep in your file and sign a confidentiality release statement. Which is simply stated that you will hold no one accountable for providing your information or make specific information available upon biological relative contact with them. For instance, if you wish them to contact you, allow the adoption agency in writing- your phone number, address, or even just your email.
    Or if you only want to provide medical information/heritage history information, make a statement as such. This statement legally allows such information to be provided to the individual. Without it, they may not be legally allowed to provide you ANY information. Even if the biological relative had requested contact. If the biological relative adult adoptee and or biological parent requests confidentiality, at least you will know one way or the other. Sometimes, in life with life changes people attitudes, opinions and secrets change as well. Just something to consider. Meaning: A closed door may not always be a closed door. It could open for even a brief moment in time. It is up to you to go through it.
    TRACY35's Avatar
    TRACY35 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #13

    Feb 23, 2010, 12:04 AM
    To ren4866 you can go to the court house and ask them the form you need to fill out and the court will do the search for your son and if your son will write the court back and said that he is willing to meet you they will call you or send you the information but you will have to pay that state because i had to pay the state for kentucky
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #14

    Feb 23, 2010, 06:30 AM

    Tracy--first, this thread is THREE YEARS OLD. REN hasn't been back in quite some time.

    Second--not all states will do that. As a matter of fact, as far as I know, MOST states won't do that.

    I'm closing this thread because it is so old. In the future, please watch dates when responding.

    Thank you.

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