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angie1981 · Jul 8, 2008, 08:32 AM

My husband wants to adopt my daughter. I have not been with the father since she was 8 months old but he is named on the birth certificate and he still sees her. My husband has decided he would like to adopt her just to make it final, we have two other kids to which are my husbands kids anyway.
How do I go about this

startover22 · Jul 8, 2008, 09:23 AM

The REAL father has to sign over his rights. Then you have to go through a court and pay money to have the "new" guy adopt her.
I am going to go out on a limb here and ask you a few questions. By the way you worded your question, it showed to me that you may not have asked yourself these. Especially the part about "we have two other kids to which they are my husbands kids anyway"

Now why in the heck would you have someone adopt your child when she already has a father? Is this to make you guys look "normal" or too suffice your new hubby's feelings? If her father is still in her life, do you not know that this will be the lowest thing you can do to a man, take their name away from their child? Seriously, I could see if it if he weren't around or was a deadbeat. But what the heck are you trying to finalize here? She is born and he is still the father, that is final enough. Making waves is not the way to go about it, how do you think she will feel telling her daddy she has a new last name now?? I am sorry, I just thought maybe you hadn't thought about it much... or at least not in detail. This is only my opinion, you have the right to do what you want. Good luck and lots of love to your family!

angie1981 · Jul 8, 2008, 11:09 AM

For your information my daughter has got my husbands last name already through the permission of her father so its not just to rub his nose in it. My husband just wants her to be his I guess its just something he wants to do although he classes her has his own anyway

ScottGem · Jul 8, 2008, 11:24 AM

As Start said, you have to get the bio father to relinquish his rights. If he's willing to do that, you have no problem. Just get an attorney to draw up the adoption papers and get everything signed.

However, if the bio father doesn't agree, then drop it.

startover22 · Jul 8, 2008, 11:26 AM

Angie, I didn't want to offend you. Sorry, I just know from my own experience... a last name should mean a lot. Are you sure you want to take that away from her? How old is she now, and does her Father see her often? I can't imagine, unless he is a pushover for you, that he would just say hey,you... let another man put his name on MY child. I can't see that. Good luck.