My daughter is four years old. Her biological father has not seen her, supported her in any kind of way since Feb. 2006. I have been married for two years and 4 months. My husband is in the military and we are currently stationed in Georgia. We were in Texas before. My daughters biological father has known where we are. While my husband was deployed Dec.2005-July 2006, during this time, my daughter and I lived in South CArolina with my mom. This is where we are originally from, as well as her bio-father. He knew we were there and seen my child up until Feb.06. He just left the picture. I have actually contacted him a few times. HE has had my #'s. HE shows no interest at all. He will not voluntarily sign his rights off. My daughter knows my husband as her father, she calls him daddy and that is the only daddy she knows. I'm just confused, pissed an everything else because she for one thing has his last name, and she will be starting school next year. My husband and I have a 7 month old, also. I just feel like it is out of my hands, which is so unfair I take care of her and she is my daughter. Its like he has the whole situation is wrapped around his finger, and the only reason he won't sign his rights over is to get to me. Even if it would be easier for me to just give her my maiden name, and wait for adoption that would be fine. He just has no right to have rights and have her walking around carrying his last name. I'm sorry, just confused. I'm scared to go to court because I don't want them to give him visitation and all that now because she doesn't know him and that would mess her little mind up, you,know? I have never kept her away form him, he chose this. I know I will have to go to court about it, I just don't want to cause my daughter any confusion and hurt. PLEASE HELP!!

Not an expert here, wait for others to chime in and agree or correct...

I know you don't want to hear this but you can't terminate his rights.

He hasn't done right by you or his daughter. That doesn't mean he won't. As much as you don't want to hear it, the child is his as well...

Honestly, kids are smart and can roll with the punches better than we think. You are the one with the baggage and the one losing sleep. Yes, it might be a little confusing for a bit, but giving a child the chance to know her bilogical father as well as her loving parental father is NOT messing the child up.

It isn't convenient. It isn't pleasant. It didn't have to be this way. But the choice isn't yours to make alone. At least without the proper legal due process.

My step daughter never knew her biological father. He just didn't care to be a dad and left them... actually told the mom, when she asked how could he leave his child, that he could make others. Can you believe that?

Well.. I can tell you that my daughter would be furious with her mother if shed terminated her fathers rights. She wishes she knew him, and it has nothing to do with a lack of love from me or others in the family.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Like I said, it didn't have to be this way... but termination of his rights isn't something you get to up and decide alone.

Personally, going to court is really the best thing to do. It gets you out of denial and it gets him vested in his daughters interest. I don't care that there is a loving daddy in the pic. He still has a daughter that he should be responsible for...

Also, if you use the search topic at the top of the page and search the site for "termination of parental rights" you'll find hundreds of threads here where something like this has been asked...

Just might give you some quick perspective.

And don't forget, when in doubt about legal issue talk to a legal professional in your area about the specifics of your case... it's the only real way to know for sure.

Take him to court and hold his feet to the fire for every penny of child support he owes his daughter. It just might occur to him that letting your husband adopt her wouldn't be such a bad idea after all.