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    Lost Father's Avatar
    Lost Father Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 07:55 AM
    Father in Need
    Last year I had found out that my rights were finally terminated in the long custody battle that my wife, I and our child had gone through from 99-2006. We didn't have a permancy hearing for at least 36+months and when we finally did they decided to terminate our rights. During the termination proceedings the Judge allowed hearsay to be dictated in the court reports... Thus allowing the opposition to win the case and terminating our rights. My child was almost 2yrs old when she was taken from us due to unsanitary living conditions. We were to get her back in Feb of 00'.. But we got a call on the day of court telling us not to show up that someone had made a hotline call on us and they were investigating it. Well, a few months later we found out what that call was, there was allegations made against myself that I had allegedly touch my child on her buttocks.. That I hurt her... When asked about it I was outraged, I told them at no time had I ever touched my child in any manner except for the normal diaper/bathing cleaning and to be accused of such was bullcrap. To make a long story short... Found out it was the foster mom who made the call and said that my daughter was the one who told her all of this, now My daughter was only 22-23 months at that time; How can a child of that age say clearly in plain sentences.? My child was barely speaking at that age, she was saying Daddy, Mommy Baba and a few other words.. Well at the termination proceedings the foster mother said that in Dec of 99 after she had my child over for Christmas she fell in love with her and knew she just had to have her... This is a single woman/ her very first foster child as well. I have nothing against single moms, heck I have a few sisters who are. But for one who stole my child from me, Im outraged and as well I am a Lost Father...

    Can anyone help me? What can I do? Can my wife and I get her back, even though she has been adopted by this woman?
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
    Ultra Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 12:22 PM
    I am so sorry that you are in such pain. Did you have a lawyer at the time all of this occurred? Frankly, I don't understand how this was allowed to progress the way it did. Since your rights were terminated and your daughter has been permanently adopted by this woman (in 2006?), this is going to be very difficult for you to reverse. I am sure there are a lot more details and facts that need to be reviewed before anyone can give you a definite answer. The only way to find out for sure if you have any options open to you, is to contact a family law attorney in your area and bring all the paperwork that relates to your case to him/her for review. They don't usually charge for an initial consultation, but get that understood ahead of time. Ask anyone you know if they can recommend a good attorney who is well versed with the adoption procedures and laws in your state.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man

    Aug 7, 2007, 12:58 PM
    Something doesn't smell right here. You NEED to get an attorney and contest the adoption. And you NEED an attorney to help you. You can file suit against the organization that used this woman as a foster parent and did not follow up properly.
    shygrneyzs's Avatar
    shygrneyzs Posts: 5,017, Reputation: 936
    Uber Member

    Aug 7, 2007, 01:57 PM
    Like Scott said, something does not smell right. You either left out a great deal of information or else you were denied your due process. The latter is hard to believe, knowing how difficult it is to go through an adoption. My youngest son's parents were deemed unfit but it took from November of 1996 to June of 1998 for their rights to be terminated. It was a long legal process and the courts made sure that the parents were given every opportunity to comply with the courts.

    If you were denied your due process and rights, then you and your wife need an attorney, which brings up the question - where was your attorney when this started? If you had no money there would have been Legal Aid. Even if you can get an attorney now, the courts may not decide on your behalf. The Judge will have to base the decision on the best placement for the child - the natural parents do not always win. Sometimes that is the way it should be, for the sake of the child's health and security.
    Lost Father's Avatar
    Lost Father Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Aug 9, 2007, 12:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by ScottGem
    Something doesn't smell right here. You NEED to get an attorney and contest the adoption. And you NEED an attorney to help you. You can file suit against the organization that used this woman as a foster parent and did not follow up properly.
    I have went through at least 10 court appointed attorneys during the duration of the removal of my child.. From 1999-2006. The first attorney I had, Division of Family services tried to intervene in my marriage and thus made our attorney have to withdrawl due to conflict of interest... Yes the foster mother is the one who made the allegation report and I am not sure of what more I can do about it... I really miss my child, I have not seen her since 2003, I have only seen pictures that the foster mother had sent us in 2006... What is strange is that for a while she said we could call her but we couldn't talk to our daughter cause she said it would be too traumatic for her to talk to her parents but every time we had visits in the past with our child she was so excited to see us and happy... They did a psychological evaluation on us in 2003, myself/my wife/my daughter/and the foster mother. It was done by a forensic pyschologist who specializes in child abuse/neglect... From the research I had done on him, he is one of the countries best... He said that my child suffers from psychological manipulation and abuse by division of family services/the foster mother/ and the daycare worker. That they had embedded the abuse into my child's head through out the time the foster mother got her and to date... He also proceeded to say in court that the foster mother is a very smart and manipulative woman who shouldn't be raising this child... The court ask about myself and my wife, He then said that my wife suffered from severe depression due to the fact of our child not being home and her being a part of her life... what he said about myself was that I suffered from depression but not as severe as my wife's, if it was I was hiding it to be strong for my wife. He was also asked if he thought I was a danger to my child and he said no, ask if he thought I was a sexual predator and he said with a medical certainty, no. He then was asked where should the child go, he said with some time and effort the child should be started back to her biological parents and worked into the home , within the next six months... But as you know that never happen... The Judge never even considered what was best for her because she is still being abused mentally... The adoptive mom said that when my wife wrote a letter to our child that it upset her very much and the letter only asked how she was doing and the basic things you ask your child when they are away... She didn't ever promise anything in the letter about her taking her away or coming to get her... The adoptive mom also says that my daughter has a fear that we are going to come and take her away... Myself I think that is a lot of bs, I think the adoptive mom has put a lot of fear into my daughters head about her real parents... Anyhow I don't know besides getting an attorney what else to do... Not many attorneys out there that I know of would take this kind of case... Though I don't want that woman raising my child when it is our responsibility...
    Thanks for your input,
    Lost Father
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man

    Aug 9, 2007, 05:02 PM
    I would go back to the psychologist and ask him if he has any ideas for you. I would suspect that someone like you describe would be upset at a judge ignoring him. I would also talk to the media. If you are telling us the truth, this is just the type of abuse of power they eat up on.

    Good luck
    s_cianci's Avatar
    s_cianci Posts: 5,473, Reputation: 760
    Uber Member

    Aug 10, 2007, 01:10 PM
    Has this woman actually legally adopted her? Normally that cannot happen without you and the mother giving consent. It sounds rather surprising that the judge was so willing to listen to hearsay when arriving at his decision. Sounds like you now need a good family law attorney.

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