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    Josiahmyworld's Avatar
    Josiahmyworld Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 17, 2007, 05:18 PM
    I am 18, my nephew is in foster care can I get custody of him?
    My name is Bobbie Jo and I am deaf myself. I had adorable nephew who came to the world march 16,2007 he now is 3 months old and he's in foster home. There are so many special things about him. He is deaf in one ear and hearing in other ear, he changed my life. Everyday I wake up and I wish I could be a aunt to him but he is not by my side anymore.

    My nephew has a young parent. My brother who is 17 and his girlfriend who is 15. We have been on the case with Children & Youth. My mother, my brother, his girlfriend, and myself living in a town house (low-income) where we live has a drug issue around the park. Children youth already label my mom as a crack head, and my brother as a abusive.
    They removed the baby from our home when he was 1 month old. During these 1 month term. The baby's mother wasn't a mother to him, she missed his doctors appointments. My brother and his girlfriend fights a lot. It makes me feel like they can't be there for the baby

    My brother has been in a lot of trouble lately, and now he is in juniville prison. The mother of the baby still lives in my mother's house.

    I found a house for myself and will be roomating with 2 other girls. My house is half double, has 5 bedroom, seems safe place for my nephew. I will be moving out on July 1, 2007.


    I had asked children & youth if I could take custody of my nephew they had replied that the law says must be age of 21 to have custody of my nephew. I want to know if it is true by the law that you have to be 21 to take custody of your own nephew.

    I just know by my heart that I can provide a better care for him, more loving for him, and to expose him, his deaf culture ( sign language as communication), sent him to school when he gets older, show up doctors appointment, give him a good home.

    My brother will never be a man, be a father. His girlfriend will never be a mother, she thinks of my brother number 1 than her son. The mother had shown no action of looking for place, or trying to get her son back none of this.

    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME FILL ME IN. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO. TELL ME IF ITS TRUE THAT I HAVE TO BE 21 TO HAVE CUSTODY OF MY OWN NEPHEW.
    :confused:
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,305, Reputation: 7692
    Expert
     
    #2

    Jun 17, 2007, 06:14 PM
    I wish I could have a better or even a good answer for you, Children's services can be very hard to deal with. Your best bet will be to hire an attorney to represent you in attempting to get custody, esp if your sister would ask for you to be given custody.
    Josiahmyworld's Avatar
    Josiahmyworld Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jun 18, 2007, 09:19 PM
    You may all think " why not get my brother's girlfriend to sign to me as custody". The girlfriend does not want to give up the child to anyone. The girlfriend wants the baby back directly to her but its going to take years and years. I do not want my nephew traveling a long journey to finally know who his relatives are, I want my nephew to be able to know who I am. I want him to be able to know his culture as deaf. I want to see him growing up. I do not want to see him 3 yrs later or 5 yrs later. Its going to break my heart that I did not see him growing up.

    My nephew's parent may love him so much. But they know they are too young to take care of him. They have no budget to support that child. They have no roof for the child to feel safe and warm. I don't want my nephew to stay in foster care when there's someone from his relatives can take care of him.

    My question " can a 18 old get custody of her own nephew" in this kind of situation.
    twomuttsmom's Avatar
    twomuttsmom Posts: 7, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Jun 22, 2007, 12:59 AM
    At the age of 18, you are considered an adult and can enter into legal contracts.

    The custody battle takes a long time.
    First - find out the name of the attorney-ad-litum for your nephew. When children go into foster care, they are appointed this attorney to represent their best interests because they can't speak for themselves. When you get this attorney's name, express your interests in gaining custody of this child. Although the states like for relatives to get custody, they do look at the possibility and likelihood of this child being around the parents they were taken from.

    When it comes to your living arrangements, co-habitating adults are not usually granted foster care of children. You would do better attempting this process as a single person, living on your own. You will have to complete a lot of forms, with a few of them being background checks with the state and through criminal records.

    Also, you will need to show proof of income, the ability to care for yourself, like insurance, etc. A lot of states also now have a program called "Foster Pride" that consists of a 10 week course on fostering and adoption, as well as the laws, types of behavioral issues of children, and dealing with family members of the child.

    Call your local DHHS office and get enrolled in the class ASAP. This will show determination on your part.

    During the class, the paperwork is completed, home studies are done, and background checks are run. Once the 10 week course is done and the paperwork is done, you will be eligible to take that child in, or any other child needing care.

    Again, find out the attorney's name for the child and get in touch with them.

    Good luck!!
    kellyxmx's Avatar
    kellyxmx Posts: 5, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jun 25, 2007, 02:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by Josiahmyworld
    My name is Bobbie Jo and i am deaf myself. I had adorable nephew who came to the world march 16,2007 he now is 3 months old and hes in foster home. There are so many special things about him. He is deaf in one ear and hearing in other ear, he changed my life. Everyday I wake up and i wish i could be a aunt to him but he is not by my side anymore.

    My nephew has a young parent. My brother who is 17 and his girlfriend who is 15. We have been on the case with Children & Youth. My mother, my brother, his girlfriend, and myself living in a town house (low-income) where we live has a drug issue around the park. Children youth already label my mom as a crack head, and my brother as a abusive.
    They removed the baby from our home when he was 1 month old. During these 1 month term. The baby's mother wasn't a mother to him, she missed his doctors appointments. My brother and his girlfriend fights a lot. It makes me feel like they can't be there for the baby

    My brother has been in alot of trouble lately, and now he is in juniville prison. The mother of the baby still lives in my mother's house.

    I found a house for myself and will be roomating with 2 other girls. My house is half double, has 5 bedroom, seems safe place for my nephew. I will be moving out on July 1, 2007.


    I had asked children & youth if i could take custody of my nephew they had replied that the law says must be age of 21 to have custody of my nephew. I want to know if it is true by the law that you have to be 21 to take custody of your own nephew.

    I just know by my heart that i can provide a better care for him, more loving for him, and to expose him, his deaf culture ( sign language as communication), sent him to school when he gets older, show up doctors appointment, give him a good home.

    My brother will never be a man, be a father. His girlfriend will never be a mother, she thinks of my brother number 1 than her son. The mother had shown no action of looking for place, or trying to get her son back none of this.

    CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME FILL ME IN. TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO. TELL ME IF ITS TRUE THAT I HAVE TO BE 21 TO HAVE CUSTODY OF MY OWN NEPHEW.
    :confused:
    Hi my parents are foster carears so I may be help you,
    If you know what social services your nethew is under then you have a chane just go to the social services and talk some onewho can sign to you what the people are saying and just ask if you can see the person in charge of your nethews case. But if your brother a his girlfriend isn't getting there son your nethew back then am afraid to say that with him only being a few months oldhe will go up for adoption but do what I said and good luck(Y)
    Mikes_babe's Avatar
    Mikes_babe Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Feb 1, 2008, 08:33 AM
    I'm going through this at the moment only with my grandson. He is 1 month old, in foster care, and Children and youth are so screwed up. They say my work schedule and 2 bedroom house aren't suitable for him at this time... but yet they never came here to check the house and I work part-time. (3 days a week 4 1/2 - 5 hours a day). (My fiance' has a full-time job.) Before my daughter can get him back she has to have a full-time job, but yet they are griping that I work too much!! It's all to confusing, I just think it's a baby market.
    ForChase's Avatar
    ForChase Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    May 14, 2008, 05:49 PM
    Unfortunately you have to be well off and become a foster parent, go through classes and the like before you can get your own flesh and blood back. But they already have marks against my family for being persistent and said that we would not be made eligible for foster parents no matter what we do.

    I am praying they will change DHS or close them down all together. I have many shared horror stories about them and there schemes to break apart families and replace wanted children into homes of strangers.

    I have been trying to get my 5 year old nephew Chase back for 2 years. I would even settle for visitations at this point. They will not let me or his grandmother see him, talk to him, adopt him. His mother had a list of 18 people that he could stay with family or friends and DHS shot each one down.

    Even today I was told by DHS again, that I have no rights if the parents rights are terminated. I asked them if he is in a really good home then those people would have no problem with setting up visitations with me and Chase. They said no way! I have not charges, but I have no money either, I believe 100% part of DHS is a money racket to the highest bidder with the most sought after child. I am in tears and want to give up, but I want him to know I still love him so I am still trying.

    DHS forced my young brother and his wife to divorce (saying it would increase their chances of getting Chase back) and they refused legal representation for either parent in the juvenile court saying they would postpone hearings so that they could hire! They are off work so much for court cases, required classes, random drug testing and the like that they cannot earn very much. They also have to come up with 60.00 a week each for classes, 30.00 each for each random drug test that could be at anytime (employers love this) and 500.00 per trial for each lawyer and more. Are family is not rich so we are losing the battle.

    :confused:

    My brother got caught with a joint that he smoked to help him with his Crohn's disease. Yes he shouldn't have, but the mother did not do this and now no one in the family has any say nor can they house my nephew.


    Chase we love you!
    Mikes_babe's Avatar
    Mikes_babe Posts: 9, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Jun 20, 2008, 04:08 AM
    Here's an update about my grandson whom has been in foster care for almost 6 months. I have not seen him at all, but his parents see him one a week for an hour at Children services. They have their 6 month review next month and their visits are going to be dropped to once every 2 weeks.. my daughter has completed everything that she needed to except finding a house since they are not easy to come by where she lives. NOW they want her to go to addict classes again (even though she has never tested hot), more parenting classes, anger management classes (since she got pissed off the day they took her child), AA meetings, they just keep putting up road blocks. They were supposed to come do a home study so I could have him... but they haven't yet.(must be too busy trying to keep my little "creamy white" skinned grandson as long as possible. We hired a lawyer now and he is fighting tooth and nail to get him out of that place. We are even getting a bigger house so they can't say we don't have enough room... the system does NOT care about family rights... trust me.
    startover22's Avatar
    startover22 Posts: 2,758, Reputation: 363
    Ultra Member
     
    #9

    Jun 29, 2008, 08:56 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Mikes_babe
    Here's an update about my grandson whom has been in foster care for almost 6 months. I have not seen him at all, but his parents see him one a week for an hour at Children services. They have their 6 month review next month and their visits are going to be dropped to once every 2 weeks.. my daughter has completed everything that she needed to except finding a house since they are not easy to come by where she lives. NOW they want her to go to addict classes again (even though she has never tested hot), more parenting classes, anger management classes (since she got pissed off the day they took her child), AA meetings, they just keep putting up road blocks. They were supposed to come do a home study so I could have him....but they haven't yet.(must be too busy trying to keep my little "creamy white" skinned grandson as long as possible. We hired a lawyer now and he is fighting tooth and nail to get him out of that place. We are even getting a bigger house so they can't say we don't have enough room...the system does NOT care about family rights....trust me.
    Your daughter needs a lawyer, and she needs to ask for a different case worker. Bottom line. That is it. Have you tried to go to the office and talk face to face with them? As far as I know, you need a place for the child to sleep, a back ground check, and a fire extinguisher under your kitchen sink... of course, you need to take a class and in every state it differs, but you need to know the specifics, so get on down there! YOU need to go on down to the local office and get more info... be pushy but nice and you may just get somewhere! Good luck... ;)

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