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    db923's Avatar
    db923 Posts: 22, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 3, 2007, 09:07 PM
    Adopting step father and natural mother split up before adoption is finalized
    I am wondering... In the State of California about adoption proceedings..

    A fathers rights were terminated, ( the 1 year abandonment is what got him, my brother had got in trouble, so the mom knew where to get him mom is only 21 years old, the judge so stated herself, that is not lack of his interest on his child, they had to go by the law that he was seeing his daughter out of the court order and had not paid into child support during that one year, he was in a mess in his life) so they said it was abondonment under the law.

    Well, mother did a good job at staying away from us all , so she could get her new "hubbie" to adopt my niece... social services said it was a good idea. Now mom has come back into OUR lives saying she wants nothing to do with the new adopting step dad, and during the time when social services had come out, they were not even living together!! They lied. The adoption is not final... they have to still pay up a lot of money to complete it, which niether one is going to pay... they are separated. She is basically on the streets staying here and there( the adopting step dad caught her w/ another man in their home- in BED!)... is the adoption still capable of going through?? Can my brothers parental rights be rescinded?? It is going on 6 months now after the court hearing terminating his rights.

    Our family was torn by this... my niece has been staying at my house on the weekend while mom is out w/ the new boyfriend... siblings reunited.. its all coming back together for our family and our missing piece is finally with us again... What can happen..?

    Mom is so young, I don't think she relizes how her "payback games" damage everyone.. especially the siblings and all of us that just want to give our love.. Mom deprived her of natural family that only wants to give love and support!

    Any suggestions on what we can do as the paternal family?
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,303, Reputation: 7692
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    #2

    Dec 5, 2007, 03:05 PM
    Since the adoption did not go though, I would say yes, they rights could still be gottem back,

    He needs to go back to court and try to arrange first some limited supervised visits, I wouls say supervised, since then if she did not bring the child that would be documented by the supervising agency.

    Since it appears there was some deception, which is actually very common in child cusotdy cases.
    db923's Avatar
    db923 Posts: 22, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jul 30, 2010, 03:36 PM

    Wow, this was an old post of mine. I've since become a paralegal, still new to it all and yet to work in a field, but struck me so deep that I began to study. Oh the end of the saga, the new stepfather had filed for divorce before his petition to adopt my niece. My brother's public defender failed to discover this and when I did it was too late. His rights were terminated and the then new stepdad and my brother's ex divorced. So she manuevered well and won. It was and still is one of the most painful experiences a family should (in some cases- I know it's for the best) never have to go through. They really pushed on the one year of no support. The funny thing is, judge said before the court that she did not believe the new stepdad, and believed the mother. They both hid the fact that they had started divorce prodeedings, somehow the court did not find this, by the time I had knowledge about appealing, it was too late. The judge would be furious to have known this, or maybe she did. Mom left my niece with me after the fact over and over again. My doors will always be open to them. Thank God I took tons of pics and my niece got to meet her siblings and spend plenty of time. I don't think they will ever forget that. Mom finally stayed away. It's been just over a year. She had a baby with another man, broke up with him, I warned him of her deception- he told me to get in touch with her again because he has concerns about my niece. It's crushing. The mother is stage 4 bi-polar. I don't think at this point, we can do anything.
    db923's Avatar
    db923 Posts: 22, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 30, 2010, 03:39 PM

    ADD: It is now up to my brother to try to do what he can like you say, request supervised visits. He was just released in May from prison. Nothing looks like it would be in his favor after all this time. Through our strong family love my brother has been able to maintain a strong loving relationship with his other children from his almost 15 year relationship with their mother. We have no money, but I guess nothing is impossible.
    db923's Avatar
    db923 Posts: 22, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Jul 30, 2010, 03:53 PM

    Im very happy about the fact that we got plenty of pics with my niece and her brothers and sisters and our mom. It will be times that we all will treasure and how happy my nieces and nephews and mother were to all be together with their little sister and granddaugther.

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