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    Outofcon77's Avatar
    Outofcon77 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Apr 1, 2008, 01:39 PM
    Why does she collect and hold onto things?
    Hope you can help me?

    My wife we are still married lives with our twin daughters 9 and our son 23. Our relationship ended because of our drinking. I went into recovery and have been sober fives years. However, my wife continues to drink in the evening's strong beer when the girls are asleep. One of twin daughters is disabled and attends a special school. Sometime back my wife turned up at our disable child school stinking of booze. Our child's teachers noticed this and reported to our child's disability team. Social Services became involved. They mention in there assessment about her drinking, and her need to get help with it. They also mentioned about the home is always cluttered mainly the living room. We al got together and blitzed the place. She has this obsession with jewellery and items she doe not need or have purpose for. She has started to clutter the living room again. She continues to drink in the evenings it is just a vicious circle. Sometimes I think she is setting herself up to fail? She could loose the custody of our children because of this, but why does she behave this way.
    I said I would take the girls while she goes into residential rehab, but it does not happen.
    What am I to do?

    Thanks
    Outofcon77
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Apr 1, 2008, 03:15 PM
    Unfortunately no matter how much you clean the house for her she is not going to keep it that way. I guess she isn't looking at the reality of what can happen or maybe she doesn't care.
    Can you talk to the Child social services Judge and tell them that you want custody if she isn't going to straighten up her act?
    Some people are creatures of habit and get into a rut. Possibly too she may be depressed and finds it hard to cope with cleaning and taking care of things.
    Outofcon77's Avatar
    Outofcon77 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #3

    Apr 1, 2008, 04:50 PM
    Thanks for your reply

    Every month before the social worker comes we have to clean up. I resent this because it is not fair. I believe she holds onto the children to give her a home. The money she wastes on this behaviour could be well spent on them, a long with her drinking and smoking. This cluttering is not normal; I feel she feels uncomfortable with it any other way. This must be about her self, her needs out weight the children. She has her good ways, but if she lost the girls obviously it would hurt them badly. She might slip further in to her Alcoholism. I know there are no easy answers to this. I also see no end to it.
    I will just have to see what I can do for the best
    Thanks
    Outofcon77
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #4

    Apr 1, 2008, 04:52 PM
    If there is possibly a way that you can get the kids you should try.
    Even if it means stopping cleaning for her.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #5

    Apr 3, 2008, 02:08 AM
    Every time you clean, you are enabling her. Depression can cause something like her desire to cling to things. Alcohol can exacerbate depression. She does not want change. You do. Make changes.

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