When do you know if someone is An alcoholic? How can you tell for sure? I think I have been lying to myself for awhile now and could use some advice. Thanks.

Does the person need to start the day with a drink?
Does the person need alcohol for motivation?
Does the person blame someone else for why he/she drinks?

Here are more questions at an AA web site --

Are you alcoholic?

Here's the U.S. site --

http://www.alcoholicsanonymous.com/

Does the personality change with the first drink?
Is the person preoccupied with the thoughts of where their next drink is going to come from?
Does the person get edgy without alcohol in them for a time?

The list goes on and on!

If you do want help with alcoholism, Wondergirls' post will answer a lot of questions, but only you can call yourself an alcoholic, not anyone else.

Identifying the problem is a great start.

KBC

The most important, if the drinking effects your relastionship.

Being an alcoholic does not mean that person is a drunk. It is the reliance on alcohol. Can be as little as three glasses of wine a day - the key is that there has to be those three glasses of wine each day - the dependency. For some. Every alcoholic will be different.

I used to work with a guy who HAD to have six crème de cacoa drinks a day. He could function fairly well, never saw him drunk, never saw him visibly impaired. Was very surprised when he went into treatment. He said that he finally realized that his day was planned around those six drinks. He even created a time table for consuming them.

So while there are very similar characteristics that alcoholics will share, each one is still unique.

If it causes problems, then it needs to be addressed.

Is alcohol on your mind every day or so?

People who aren't bound to alcohol don't think about alcohol at all.


Why not go to a local AA meeting and listen to those who talk and after the meeting talk to a member about your situation?

shygrneyzs, I mean to say "about how alcoholics AREN'T always drunk" on my reputation! Sorry, lol. I was typing too fast!

If you are questioning your own potential addiction based on your own personal habits, you might have an issue.

The positive spin here is this... You obviously still have the ability to self evaluate impartially, address this issue before you lose that.

Has the person ever had blackouts?(forgetting what they did during there drinking adventure), another is drinking until you pass out,have you missed days of work on a regular basis because of next day hang overs. Not to be gross about it but drinking until you get sick and then once your done being sick start drinking some more, you say your just going to have one drink then the next thing you know you've had six,twelve, then you lose count.I don't want to condone anyone but the fact that your thinking you might have a problem sends up a red flag in my book. I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic with 21 yrs. In the program and thanks to a friend of mine that kept on me I'm still here today and have led a pretty good life and fulfilled most of my dreams since I quit drinking. I get my rewards from helping other people and helping them recover and get there lives back on track. If you have any questions to ask about alcoholism please feel free to contact me and I will try my best to hep you. Thanks and have a GREAT day!

Just to clear the confusion is this about you or a friend??

Wanting a drink too early, or having one so you can sleep, or to get started, or to end your day, every day, to start your meal, or end your meal, or when your alone, if you can't remember what's happened, on a regular baisis, if your taking too many chances, with your life or others when your drink, like driving when you know you've had too many, if you start losing relationships, jobs, become, unreliable. Become aggressive, depressed on a regular basis. Drink too many to often, make excuses to drink, say your going to have just one and don't... If your questioning your actions, you may have a problem.

Sorry- I guess I should have explained more thoroughly.

It is a friend (who is also my cousin) who recently lost his job and decided to move away. That option fell through and he is staying around my home town. We always thought of him as "a drinker" but lately it seems more like he is drinking all the time. We saw him at a family breakfast and I swear to god he was already drunk.

Everyone in my family is saying it is just stress. I am worried that it is something more.

Edit: thank you everyone who has replied. I wish I knew for sure how he started his day. And if for sure he drank every day.

Can you and other family members intervene (with direction from Al-Anon)? Maybe that will help him realize he needs help. From what you said, it sounds like he is using alcohol to cover his anger, pain, embarrassment, sense of failure... whatever emotion bubbles to the surface. It has become easier for him to reach for a drink rather than get up out of his chair and try again--probably figuring he will only fail again.

Family members will want to attend Al-Anon meetings to find out the best way to act around this man who needs a support system like A.A. can offer.