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kujhawk48 · Oct 28, 2007, 01:12 PM

I don't even know where to start.

I'm a 23 year old student who has struggled with addiction in the past, and now my future seems hopeless. I have a felony on my record, and my DL has been revoked for 4 years (not 3 like I initially thought). I was hoping to apply to the School of Social Welfare at KU here shortly, but now that light has yet faded away, at least for the next 4 years (because you need your own transportation for Social Work). A year ago I was working towards becoming a nurse, but when I got my felony, that dream faded away too..

I had changed my life dramatically since the beginning of the year, and have tried to look at the positive side of all the bad choices I've made in the past, and the consequences I faced thereafter. Not only did I have to change my major from what would have been my DREAM JOB (being an RN at a children's hospital) but now I can not even pursue Social Work right now.

I really am starting to wonder if I even have a purpose here on Earth, or if I am just a lost cause getting in the way of others. I go to an aftercare group, and once I am off house arrest, I will continue to go to the NA and AA meetings (which I enjoy going to) that I have attended regularly for months now, but nothing nor nobody I have talked to recently has helped me to lift my spirits up.

I honestly don't know what to do...

savedsinner7 · Oct 28, 2007, 01:16 PM

Keep coming back until the miracle happens. And don't leave 5 minutes before it does. If you hang on and do the footwork, the steps, and trust in God, the results will come in time. Do you have a sponsor?

firmbeliever · Oct 28, 2007, 01:19 PM

Hi,
Do not despair... just think the time you had given up to your addictions and other unnecessary things.

This, now is the time for you to better yourself as a person and improve your whole being.
A time to make peace with yourself and your past, a time to meditate and become healthy in mind and body.

Hopefully soon you will find your true path to peace.

kujhawk48 · Oct 28, 2007, 02:11 PM

Yes, I do have a sponsor but being on house arrest, I have not been able to see her since August 10th.

Wondergirl · Oct 28, 2007, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by kujhawk48

Yes, I do have a sponsor but being on house arrest, I have not been able to see her since August 10th.

Why do you have to see her? Can't you two talk on the phone and IM and email each other? Your sponsor is critical to the success of your program and to help you improve your life and your mood. My bil in AA would never have made it without his sponsor.

savedsinner7 · Oct 28, 2007, 02:41 PM

Talk to your sponsor often, about what you are thinking and feeling. Work the steps. They are what is going to save your life. Develop a relationship with God. That's what the steps are for.

kujhawk48 · Oct 28, 2007, 03:11 PM

I email her often and talk with her on the phone occasionally, it's just frustrating not to be able to see her though.

And as for the God thing, I have been praying for months now to be able to accept the things I have done, and to be able to deal with them, and I think I have done a remarkable job looking at the positive side of things. So I can't be a nurse anymore, maybe I was put on this earth to help out other people that are headed down the wrong path as I was, and now that seems to be shot to hell.

I feel like I make 4 steps of progress in the right direction, and then am sent 5 steps backwards. After awhile, it gets hard to believe that these things keep happening for a reason. You know?

firmbeliever · Oct 28, 2007, 03:14 PM

In the time you have free now, why not read up on as many things that interest you or read up on even new things.
Learn and gain as much knowledge as you can until you are able to take action to fulfill your dreams in the future as a social worker (or maybe something else).

All of us have our low points,but for you all of it happening together maybe making you frustrated.

savedsinner7 · Oct 28, 2007, 06:43 PM

I do remember what that's like when you're first starting over. Fortunately, we get many opportunities to begin, especially with God. If you keep doing what is right in front of you, eventually you will be able to look back and see how far you've come. It's kind of like climbing a mountain. It's intimidating if you focus on the top, but if you keep your eyes to the path and don't stray off, eventually you can look back and see the ground way down there.

Originally Posted by kujhawk48

I email her often and talk with her on the phone occasionally, it's just frustrating not to be able to see her though.

And as for the God thing, I have been praying for months now to be able to accept the things I have done, and to be able to deal with them, and I think I have done a remarkable job looking at the positive side of things. So I can't be a nurse anymore, maybe I was put on this earth to help out other people that are headed down the wrong path as I was, and now that seems to be shot to hell.

I feel like I make 4 steps of progress in the right direction, and then am sent 5 steps backwards. After awhile, it gets hard to believe that these things keep happening for a reason. You know?