I am right now helping a family in the same situation as you are Carol..
The son lives not 100 miles,but 60 or so away.His constant problems and erratic behaviors were more than the parents could handle,, alone!
They contacted me more than 6 months ago in an attempt to have ME intervene with his drinking.I could not.
There isNO HUMAN POWER capable of stopping a drinker if they don't want to stop.Short of jail,institutionalization or death,the alcoholic MUST WANT to quit on their own.
These are not just my words,these are the words of AA,NA,Alanon,etc.
A drinker has to reach a 'bottom' of sorts before the pain of drinking is revealed to them.
'Suggesting' doesn't make him WANT to do anything, it makes him aware that you are against his drinking,but other than that,they would now see it as you are a stress factor,a roadblock to their drinking.
I believe in this site:Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self
It can show you the basics of how to set a healthy boundary against YOU being affected any further, you have suffered enough(you wouldn't have written in here otherwise)
Tough love,Do not enable,sometimes cutting ties, there are many ways to stop participating in their alcoholism.
It's HARD!It's been hard up to this point and it can be even harder yet.The ride hasn't stopped.
Alanon can be the best place for you to associate yourself with.A treatment center for alcoholism education for family members is also a good place to go.
Seek the help through the net, newspaper or phone numbers for AA in your area.
There are many here in AMHD who will assist you if you want.Write back with any questions,we will answer them if possible,advise as we can.