Technically this isn't about me because I'm 17 and still too young to marry. It would concern my parents who have been happily married for 18 years. See, the thing is, when my mother met my father, he was a well educated man who had served in the military. Strong, well shaved, whatever. Then my mother became pregnant with my brother, 1 year later, with me. Unfortunately, my mother was still in medical school, and my father had to pay all the bills. The military provided him with few money in return for his OTHER uses in the military (which are supposedly classified). That money was too little. He did have another job, but that wasn't much help. In desperation he began drinking. The military paid their dues, and the money stopped coming in about 5 months ago. My fathers drinking problem grew. By the time my mother graduated from medical school, and began supporting the family as a full time nurse, it was a little too late to take burden off my father. It came to the point where he would leave the house in the middle of the night, just to come back early in the morning practically covered in vomit all due to drinking. We took him to so many seminars and other meetings that would help him deal with his problem, but nothing worked. Here we are now in the present My mother fed up with trying, has ordered a divorce to stay away from the cruelness of my father. If u have anything that might help me, please don't hesitate to reply.

Im sorry to hear all of this.

I don't have a dad anymore, he passed away 2 years ago, he was terminally ill, I would do anything to have him back.

I think your dad needs to find himself a full time job and a hobby. Make him realise that there are far more important things in life such as drinking, drinking should be a pleasure not a habit.
He needs full time support from you and his family.
If you want to keep your family in tact it has to come from the stronger side of the family which is you and your mum right now, because you 2 are the strong ones, he needs you both!

I know this situation is hard. Sometimes the only way to help somebody is to let them hit rock bottom. Meaning if he knows he is losing his wife and family, maybe that will trigger something in him which he knows he will have to change. Alcholism is considered a disease. He does defiantly need help. Your support, your moms support is important and should always be there for him. There are programs and camps and other options to try. Your father has had served in the military and obvously there is a lot of emotional trauma he probably went through. Sometimes the only time somebody will change is if they really want to change. Forcing change in someone's addictive behaviour does not always work. Counseling for the whole family is a must. Please make sure that everything is checked into, programs, camps, counseling.

Joe

Alanon has a group for teens of alcoholics, it may be worthwhile to check them out! Hope this helps Good Luck!

Alcoholism is a disease which affects the whole family. There are many paths of recovery out in the world. Al-Anon and Alateen is for the family of alcoholics. Alcoholics Anonymous is for the alcoholic. Its important to have the right problem with the right solution. At Alateen, you will find others who have been in your shoes, and know from experience the things that work. You can benefit by that and it helps to not feel alone.

If and when your dad is ready, AA can help too but its set up so that he has to be the one who initiates that help. If you are at all curious about AA, please feel free to look them up in your directory and call. They can tell you where to find Al-Anon and Alateen if you are having trouble finding them too.

I want you to know that I understand how hard it is about the drinking, my family is also affected by it. I hope this helps.

Pray n have faith n God and be specific in your prayers about what you want. When I have problems I just talk to God believe me he listens. Im going through my own issues it helps me to cope. Your dads not perfect just be honest with him n let him no how its affected you. God has the last word in everything. I hope it works out for u guys. God bless