Check out some similar questions!

lydiagoldmund · Aug 14, 2010, 09:22 AM

Does tough love really work for adult children? I have a 24 year old alcoholic son. So far he has not been in trouble with the law. If I throw him out and he gets a record what will it do for his future as far as getting a job. He is an accountant. He has done 13 sessions with a psychiatrist who prescribed him all sorts of ant-depressants. So, now he does the drugs and alcohol! Hid drinking has only worsened!

KBC · Aug 14, 2010, 09:52 AM

How long you want to enable him to continue the drinking is entirely up to you.He won't fight you.He gets to be as irresponsible as he wants to be with no repercussion.

I am one to see the abuser on their own to reach a bottom,no matter how low it might need to get to.It might be nothing more than being on the streets for a while,living on alcohol and little else.It might end up with jail time,it might end up worse.

Your responsibility as a parent isn't to coddle an alcoholic,it WAS(before they turned 19) to parent them as best as you could.

Now he is an adult.He has to take responsibility for his actions.You throwing him out isn't being a bad parent,it's being a good parent.For your sake.

This shouldn't be about him,your responsibilities are done,you can't raise him differently.

His choices are his to make,not yours to protect him from.

His best actions got him to the point he is today.Your best intentions got him to where he is today.When you stop trying to do for him what he is not capable of doing for himself he will change,one way or another.

I like to add this site: Setting Personal Boundaries - protecting self to people in your position.If you'd like read it and if you have further comments,please come back and comment.

joe15 · Aug 14, 2010, 10:12 AM

I am just 15 and I drink on certain occasions "your son as you say may have a problem but have you yourself ever sat him down and explained to him his addictions and how much of an effect it has on his surroundings?

jmjoseph · Aug 14, 2010, 10:12 AM

I agree with KBC. Unfortunately, unless he gets on board with rehabilitation, he's not through with the alcohol abuse. He has to understand that he needs help. At 24, that's a hard thing to sink in. They often think that they are invincible.

How much does he drink? Does he black-out? Cause problems at work?

It is a good thing that he's going to a counselor. But, he needs to be detoxed, and then an extended stay at a rehab hospital, and finally, get into a twelve step program like AA. For life. It happens every day.

Please try this site for yourself:Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen

It will save your sanity, and help you find help options. I know it worked for my wife, still does.

God bless the still suffering alcoholic/addict.

DrBill100 · Aug 14, 2010, 10:21 AM

The use of antidepressants in treatment of an active excessive drinker is unusual and seldom, if ever, recommended. That would apply whether the primary diagnosis was founded on the alcohol abuse or if the alcohol abuse was charted symptomatic of an underlying disorder. Alcohol is a potent depressant.

Even moderate drinking is generally discouraged in the presence of most antidepressants and absolutely prohibited with others (such as MAOI class). Here is a consumer friendly publication from Mayo Clinic dealing in general terms with the issue. (Bear in mind this advisory deals with normal alcohol consumption, not excessive, as you describe)

Antidepressants and alcohol: What is the concern? - MayoClinic.com

That leaves the picture very much in disarray. In my head.

"Tough love" covers too much ground for me to comment on. It is frequently associated with a helpful group known for assisting the loved ones of alcoholics. AlAnon is a good place to start when dealing with the emotional turbulence created by an excessive drinker in the household. Here is a website that will provide you with a list of meetings in your area. It's free, confidential, and composed of people confronting the same issues as you:

Welcome to Al-Anon and Alateen