[Queen0804]

I am dating my boyfriend for almost a year and he is pretty nice guy. All my friends tell me that I finally got a good guy and they are all happy for me but I am just not happy with him. I feel that we have no chemistry together. He is a wonderful man and cares about me a whole lot. I am just confused about my feelings toward him, I mean One day I like him a lot and there is some days I can't stand him. We have got intimate couple times and that ruined everything. I thought it was the worst experience, he doesn't make me happy in that department at all. I barely see him because there is something that pops up every time I try seeing him. Then I try breaking up with him but then that didn't last for that long. I missed him and just thought maybe I am too picky and I need to give him my all but now , I am just not happy with him at all. He is the first good man I've got in a long time and I don't know if I should let him go or not.

[Cat1864]

You can't make yourself feel something that isn't there. He may be the greatest guy on Earth, but that doesn't mean he is the right person for you.

Be honest with yourself and him. It is unfair to both of you to try to keep a relationship going that isn't working for either one of you. You both should be with people who make you happy and who you feel more for than friendship.

[friend4u178]

You can't make yourself have feelings that aren't there. Doesn't make either of you bad people.

If you haven't got it after a year might be time to let him go before you both waste more time on each other.

[ZoeMarie]

On a side note, it's probably not a good idea to be intimate with someone you're not sure of. That just makes things even more complicated. Everyone else is right though. I went out with a guy that was super nice, got along great with all my friends and family, but it just didn't work out for us.

[Devorameira]

If you are not attracted at all to him, why did you start something with him in the first place?

You need to break it off with him and let him find a woman that will be happy with him.

If you are going to go out there and find a guy and fall in love--you better be attracted to him physically and emotionally -- a girl deserves the whole package.

[kctiger]

If you are going to go out there and find a guy and fall in love--you better be attracted to him physically and emotionally -- a girl deserves the whole package.

Actually, both women and men deserve the entire package. I'm not a girl and I definitely won't sell myself short just for comfort's sake. :)

Look, your friends aren't the one dating this guy. If you don't feel it, then you don't feel it. There is no shame in that. The point of dating is to find chemistry. If there is none on EITHER side, then you need to express yourself and stick to your guns. It isn't your job to locate some supposed happiness in someone.

This has gone on long enough and for the sake of someone's emotions being completely trampled on, I would end it sooner rather than later. Deal with the feelings of loneliness by hanging with friends or getting a hobby, not by going back to someone you know doesn't make you happy. You owe it to yourself to find someone who does make you happy. He may be the sweetest guy in the world, but he is just meant for someone else. Not everyone has the key to unlock your heart.

[Homegirl 50]

You cannot give him your all if you don't like him half the time. You're not married to him, you're just dating him.

He may be a wonderful guy but he is not the guy for you. Who knows, he may be feeling the same way about you.

Life is too short to be staying with someone you don't want to be with just because he is a nice guy. Get out of it.

[jmw0713]

If you're not in it 100% you need to tell him and leave. Better sooner than later when stuff really starts going down hill.

It is not fair to either one of you to continue this is, if it is going to be one sided.

[talaniman]

Your not picky, your faking it just to have someone, and that never works. Given your past choices, maybe being single is better than trying to force something from nothing.

[Queen0804]

My ex and I broke up almost three months ago. We've been together for almost a year but been good friends for years. We had shared so many memories including losing a child. I kind of have to admit that I did take him for granted and didn't had as much feeling as he did during the relationship but not that he is gone I want him more than anything. I tried to apoligize million times by calling, texting, even going to his house, but nothing worked! Anywayz I tried moving on and going out every night but he is always on my mind and I can't help it. He said he doesn't want anything to do with me but I don't believe it. This is the man who loved and adored me, how can he do this to me? Do u guys think it's a good idea for me to go back to his house and apologize again? Every time I go there I always end up getting mad and losing my temper, then I always end up calling him names. What do you think? I am very lost.

[martinizing2]

Is this the same guy?https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/pregna...ns-214473.html

And now you want him back and can't believe he doesn't want anything to do with you?

What am I missing here?

[imation]

From my expiriences,
It's best to leave things alone. I've done exactly what you're doing in the past - Chased a failed relationship furthur and further until I had no respect for myself, and no self confidence.
In my opinion, let it be.
You need time to heal before you can think clearly, and if at that time getting back together is what happens, it will be a calmer, more mature person that makes that decision :)

[Queen0804]

No its not him.

[martinizing2]

No its not him.

Then you lost another child beside the abortion?

About three months ago also?

These pieces do not fit together.

[Queen0804]

Yea I lost this child because I had a miscarriage, by the way that abortion was like two years ago and *** don't remind me. Thanks

[martinizing2]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ns-470058.html

This one? I am just trying to understand.

[Queen0804]

Yea that one

[Ther4peuticH3at]

Just chill. Make a conscious effort not to fixate on him. To be honest, what you feel NOW is irrelevant. It's a natural phenomenon to have very strong feelings for someone you've just broken up with and even more so for someone who just broke up with you. In fact, for some people they'll never feel more strongly for a person than when they experience a break up with that person.

If you didn't feel that way during the relationship, then if you were to ever return to a relationship with him, it'd only be a matter of time before your feelings return to the way they once were. And you'll be back here talking about how you don't really have feelings for him.

Just a heads up.

[talaniman]

Your not picky, your faking it just to have someone, and that never works. Given your past choices, maybe being single is better than trying to force something from nothing.

That was my advice from before, and nothing has changed my opinion since. Your still trying to force things.

[Cat1864]

When you aren't with him, you are building a fantasy of what you think the relationship should be like. When you are with him, the reality doesn't match up because you don't really feel that way about him.

Three months is not a long time to heal and move on especially when you are fixating on a fantasy. Stop comparing new experiences to the idealized memory you are holding on to. Let each new experience have its moment to shine (or fail) on its own merits.

Stop trying to contact the ex. He has made his feelings crystal clear.