Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help !
Ask
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 24, 2014, 03:46 AM
    I can't manage my career
    Hey,, I do live with friends at another city for my study..

    My basic issu is I was a ranker in my previous college but un fortunatlly in new college I need to struggl for even pass.. It is not like I cant undrstand the study but I lost my interest or egerness to study.
    Where I do live and may be the friends I do have as room mate(I have great relation with them) are also all like me and every body is struggling to maintain interest in study.. I cant understand my well wishers says my friends are the factor
    Of my study dabacal but I cant understand how.. They never told me to not to study..
    My all class mates are studying very hard as I am an engineering student.. please help me to sort it out, I am planning to go to phychictris. Its my last year of engineering and I cant live like this
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,268, Reputation: 7690
    Expert
     
    #2

    Sep 24, 2014, 05:36 AM
    I will hope, English is not your first language. If it is, your English ability could well be part of your problem.

    But, if your people, are saying your friends are the issue, most likely that is the problem, You do things with them, or copy their habits, not study like you should.

    Perhaps changing housing, may help. Or, set times up for more study
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Sep 24, 2014, 05:57 AM
    You are the only one who knows if engineering is what you want to do!
    Too many students, especially in certain cultures, get pushed into careers that they have no interest in at all. If your parents are paying for this, of course they should be allowed to have a say in what you study, so that they get a return on their investment. It would be nice if all parents said "We just want you to be happy and will fund any course of study you take," but that isn't realistic.
    So tell us - is this from deep emotional problems, or a simple distaste of engineering, as it gets more and more difficult and intense? Deep in your heart what do you want to do with your life? Open a clothing store? Teach literature to teenagers? You tell us.
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Sep 24, 2014, 11:16 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    I will hope, English is not your first language. If it is, your English ability could well be part of your problem.

    But, if your people, are saying your friends are the issue, most likely that is the problem, You do things with them, or copy their habits, not study like you should.

    Perhaps changing housing, may help. Or, set times up for more study


    Obvously english is not my first lenguage chuck...
    I have tried what you said but it is not so comfortable for me to live and set myself as per them as I'm studying in last year...
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #5

    Sep 24, 2014, 11:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You are the only one who knows if engineering is what you want to do!
    Too many students, especially in certain cultures, get pushed into careers that they have no interest in at all. If your parents are paying for this, of course they should be allowed to have a say in what you study, so that they get a return on their investment. It would be nice if all parents said "We just want you to be happy and will fund any course of study you take," but that isn't realistic.
    So tell us - is this from deep emotional problems, or a simple distaste of engineering, as it gets more and more difficult and intense? Deep in your heart what do you want to do with your life? Open a clothing store? Teach literature to teenagers? You tell us.




    @ joypulv To be very honest joy.. Its like psudo indipendenc from my parents.. And about engineering it is my own choice but I'm not in my favourite stream and now I want to study for managemnt.but I do have great pressur for having great grade if I want to pursue my further study. Basically I don't hate engineering and in fact I even like to called engineer. But I don't want to finish my career now I want to study more and so I need better grades and my situation is not helping me...

    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    You are the only one who knows if engineering is what you want to do!
    Too many students, especially in certain cultures, get pushed into careers that they have no interest in at all. If your parents are paying for this, of course they should be allowed to have a say in what you study, so that they get a return on their investment. It would be nice if all parents said "We just want you to be happy and will fund any course of study you take," but that isn't realistic.
    So tell us - is this from deep emotional problems, or a simple distaste of engineering, as it gets more and more difficult and intense? Deep in your heart what do you want to do with your life? Open a clothing store? Teach literature to teenagers? You tell us.




    @ joypulv To be very honest joy.. Its like psudo indipendenc from my parents.. And about engineering it is my own choice but I'm not in my favourite stream and now I want to study for managemnt.but I do have great pressur for having great grade if I want to pursue my further study. Basically I don't hate engineering and in fact I even like to called engineer. But I don't want to finish my career now I want to study more and so I need better grades and my situation is not helping me...
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 3,995, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #6

    Sep 25, 2014, 06:08 AM
    Have you looked into tutoring? Many students work at their university and tutor students for extra money. Check with your academic advisor or counselor to see if you can get extra help. It may not cost you any money at all if it is provided by the university. Check into it and make sure you tell your advisor about needing some extra help.
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Sep 28, 2014, 09:51 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
    Have you looked into tutoring? Many students work at their university and tutor students for extra money. Check with your academic advisor or counselor to see if you can get extra help. It may not cost you any money at all if it is provided by the university. Check into it and make sure you tell your advisor about needing some extra help.


    Nope this is not possible because uni is not offering such system
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #8

    Sep 30, 2014, 12:12 AM
    Any one there.?
    Please guys say something..
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #9

    Sep 30, 2014, 02:01 AM
    I didn't understand your responses. I don't really understand your whole situation.
    So I will GUESS:
    You sound very naive about life, study, and careers. You sound like someone who just thought the title of engineer sounded good, but really had no clue how much work it would be, and now that you are in the last year of study you suddenly want to go into 'management.' Management is not a field you choose because it's somehow easier; it's what you do AFTER you have solid experience in the field you are managing. In fact, since the economic downturn of the last 6 years, managers are now pretty much dinosaurs - unless they are also sharing the actual nuts and bolts 'work,' they are out of a job.
    By now you should know what kind of engineering you are interested in, and eager to aim for that specialty! You clearly aren't. You are stalling by thinking thoughts of management.
    In short, I think you just want it all without having to do any real work. Maybe your life has been too easy until now.

    I doubt that you need a psychiatrist. A therapist maybe, someone who can help you sort all this out, and to understand what it means to do what you want with your life vs. disappointing your parents. You don't seem to have the discipline to be an engineer, but can't seem to face it. You are in a panic over making big choices.

    Am I wrong? PROVE IT.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
    Uber Member
     
    #10

    Sep 30, 2014, 02:38 AM
    How do you and your roommates spend your time out of class? Certainly you do need some relaxing time, but do all of you make time to study together? Do you go to the university library for example. Can you honestly say that you are using your time wisely to work towards doing better in your studies? Are you understanding the work you learn in class, but it is just a lot to do, or are you having difficulty understanding what you are learning about?

    You'll have to really look at how much time and effort are you putting into it and whether you could actually be spending more time studying and maybe less time socializing if that is one possible reason for not doing as well as you would like.

    If your university does not have student tutors available to help, or study groups... check to find out for certain, as you just may not be aware that they are available, consider starting one yourself with some fellow students. Perhaps one or two of your instructors would be willing to help as well.
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #11

    Sep 30, 2014, 02:56 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I didn't understand your responses. I don't really understand your whole situation.
    So I will GUESS:
    You sound very naive about life, study, and careers. You sound like someone who just thought the title of engineer sounded good, but really had no clue how much work it would be, and now that you are in the last year of study you suddenly want to go into 'management.' Management is not a field you choose because it's somehow easier; it's what you do AFTER you have solid experience in the field you are managing. In fact, since the economic downturn of the last 6 years, managers are now pretty much dinosaurs - unless they are also sharing the actual nuts and bolts 'work,' they are out of a job.
    By now you should know what kind of engineering you are interested in, and eager to aim for that specialty! You clearly aren't. You are stalling by thinking thoughts of management.
    In short, I think you just want it all without having to do any real work. Maybe your life has been too easy until now.

    I doubt that you need a psychiatrist. A therapist maybe, someone who can help you sort all this out, and to understand what it means to do what you want with your life vs. disappointing your parents. You don't seem to have the discipline to be an engineer, but can't seem to face it. You are in a panic over making big choices.

    Am I wrong? PROVE IT.


    I was wanted to do management after my engineering since I was in school and its was my only choice.. And I was ranker in same stream in previous college and I know the discpline of engineering because I already has been through it but right now I am not performing same and so I'm very distressd..
    And one more thing right now I am not eligible for placement in campus while some of my friends has been already placed
    I never thought about even face an placement in engineering because management was my obvious plan after engineering but this thing that" my friends are being placed" is also affecting
    And for sake of note I am not living with my class mates
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #12

    Sep 30, 2014, 03:03 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by DoulaLC View Post
    How do you and your roommates spend your time out of class? Certainly you do need some relaxing time, but do all of you make time to study together? Do you go to the university library for example. Can you honestly say that you are using your time wisely to work towards doing better in your studies? Are you understanding the work you learn in class, but it is just a lot to do, or are you having difficulty understanding what you are learning about?

    You'll have to really look at how much time and effort are you putting into it and whether you could actually be spending more time studying and maybe less time socializing if that is one possible reason for not doing as well as you would like.

    If your university does not have student tutors available to help, or study groups... check to find out for certain, as you just may not be aware that they are available, consider starting one yourself with some fellow students. Perhaps one or two of your instructors would be willing to help as well.


    Actually I am very irregular
    I juss want to understand myself and overcome it because its very crucial point of my career.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #13

    Sep 30, 2014, 03:28 AM
    I think we have a language barrier, because it is difficult to understand you, and you are mostly repeating yourself. It just isn't clear what is happening. You are in your last year. You aren't 'getting placed in campus' - what does that mean? No job offers, while your friends are? Or is that some sort of work-study arrangement?

    Of course you aren't all going to get jobs the same day or week. This is just adding to your panic. But you didn't address ANY of what I said, really, about lack of motivation to be an engineer. Nor what kinds of jobs you can get in something that is just management, which I don't think is realistic. Nor about the CHOICES you have to make. You don't tell us what OPTIONS you have, such as taking a year off, or 6 months, or changing path of study. You don't tell us what your parents say, or how dependent you are on them, just something about pseudo.

    You seem to just want to think you are having a mental breakdown. Only you know that. I don't think you are. I think you can't face decisions. And you have a hard time understanding yourself and your situation in concrete steps.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,268, Reputation: 7690
    Expert
     
    #14

    Sep 30, 2014, 03:35 AM
    Any job, in life requires routine, you start by setting schedules in your life, and deciding you are going to change. Only you control the change
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #15

    Sep 30, 2014, 03:46 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    I think we have a language barrier, because it is difficult to understand you, and you are mostly repeating yourself. It just isn't clear what is happening. You are in your last year. You aren't 'getting placed in campus' - what does that mean? No job offers, while your friends are? Or is that some sort of work-study arrangement?

    Of course you aren't all going to get jobs the same day or week. This is just adding to your panic. But you didn't address ANY of what I said, really, about lack of motivation to be an engineer. Nor what kinds of jobs you can get in something that is just management, which I don't think is realistic. Nor about the CHOICES you have to make. You seem to just want to think you are having a mental breakdown. Only you know that. I don't think you are. I think you can't face decisions.
    Placed in campus means getting job trough college placement cell
    My issu is I am not eligible to face in placement because of my poor grades




    2nd thing
    I haven't planned to have job after engineering because I have decided to pursue managemant cource..

    3rd yes it is like that I'm facing breakdown but as you said I am afraid of facing decisions please tell me how
    I know something is missing in me and your perception of not having ability to face decisions is seem nearer to my condition

    Quote Originally Posted by Fr_Chuck View Post
    Any job, in life requires routine, you start by setting schedules in your life, and deciding you are going to change. Only you control the change


    Yes I don't have any routine and I always try to have one but failed every time
    Can you suggest me HOW TO START?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #16

    Sep 30, 2014, 04:02 AM
    Actually I can't lecture you about discipline and hard work.
    I had a full scholarship to one of the best colleges in the world exactly 50 years ago. I wasn't used to hard work, and it was hard work. Every time I looked around, other students seemed to be having fun goofing off. I couldn't accept the fact that they were studying plenty, and that I wasn't seeing them do that, and that I was only seeing a group of different ones at a given moment. I panicked! I was doing poorly in calculus especially, but all my subjects were very hard. I went to a small town school while most of them went to expensive schools and already knew a lot.

    So I dropped out. I went back twice in the next few years, but never graduated.

    So now I'm old... how can I give you advice? My advice is in the questions I asked you, which you STILL are not answering. I guess you think you can just say that you want to study harder and that's all it takes. Fine then, study harder. There are techniques for doing so. There are books on the subject, or people have already written about it online, so we don't need to write it again.

    I think you need more than that. I think you need to face your life and define yourself and your future and your family before you can buckle down and study.
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #17

    Sep 30, 2014, 04:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Actually I can't lecture you about discipline and hard work.
    I had a full scholarship to one of the best colleges in the world exactly 50 years ago. I wasn't used to hard work, and it was hard work. Every time I looked around, other students seemed to be having fun goofing off. I couldn't accept the fact that they were studying plenty, and that I wasn't seeing them do that, and that I was only seeing a group of different ones at a given moment. I panicked! I was doing poorly in calculus especially, but all my subjects were very hard. I went to a small town school while most of them went to expensive schools and already knew a lot.

    So I dropped out. I went back twice in the next few years, but never graduated.

    So now I'm old... how can I give you advice? My advice is in the questions I asked you, which you STILL are not answering. I guess you think you can just say that you want to study harder and that's all it takes. Fine then, study harder. There are techniques for doing so. There are books on the subject, or people have already written about it online, so we don't need to write it again.

    I think you need more than that. I think you need to face your life and define yourself and your future and your family before you can buckle down and study.

    I can join or establish business as per my famly background which can pay me more than any MNC but I don't want to ask them for any thing sir.. There is no ego problem with famly but I don't want to report any body even not to my dad because he is an extravagnt inqury typ person if he invested a single penny
    One more thing I desperetely want to study masters..
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #18

    Sep 30, 2014, 05:08 AM
    Report someone? What are you talking about?

    I get that you want your masters (that's the management degree, right?) but what I don't get is WHY you are so desperate, and what that has to do with being unable to finish your engineering degree. It doesn't follow, in any logic I know of, except for a desperate need to avoid facing your life decisions. I'm in the US, so if by 'management' you mean MBA, Masters of Business Administration, we can't get that until after we finish undergraduate work.

    You seem unable to 'see' what your life is all about. Go to work for your family, makes lots of money, and then leave in 5 years to do what you want. I say that as a challenge to get a response from you, not as real advice. You are still not really making any coherent sense.

    PS: I just saw your private message to me. I answered it above, 2 hours earlier. You aren't READING what people are writing here. I said 'I doubt it.' However, that's just a total stranger online saying she doubts it! How would I know? If you are developing an actual mental illness, late teens through early 20s is the age that some of the serious ones like schizophrenia develop. But millions of students are going through the angst of school and life decisions, which is what you SOUND like you are suffering from. SO HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
    Qaz007's Avatar
    Qaz007 Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #19

    Sep 30, 2014, 05:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Report someone? What are you talking about?

    I get that you want your masters (that's the management degree, right?) but what I don't get is WHY you are so desperate, and what that has to do with being unable to finish your engineering degree. It doesn't follow, in any logic I know of, except for a desperate need to avoid facing your life decisions. I'm in the US, so if by 'management' you mean MBA, Masters of Business Administration, we can't get that until after we finish undergraduate work.

    You seem unable to 'see' what your life is all about. Go to work for your family, makes lots of money, and then leave in 5 years to do what you want. I say that as a challenge to get a response from you, not as real advice. You are still not really making any coherent sense.

    PS: I just saw your private message to me. I answered it above, 2 hours earlier. You aren't READING what people are writing here. I said 'I doubt it.' However, that's just a total stranger online saying she doubts it! How would I know? If you are developing an actual mental illness, late teens through early 20s is the age that some of the serious ones like schizophrenia develop. But millions of students are going through the angst of school and life decisions, which is what you SOUND like you are suffering from. SO HOW WOULD WE KNOW?
    I am desperated because its my childhood plannning to study in this perticular chain school> engineering>MBA
    Sir I am from india and its not possible to leave my famly business if I will establish it with my dad. They never allow me to do anything els if I once join them
    And yes here it is same as US. I am planning for MBA but after engineering. I'm not going to drop Engineering
    I have read all of your answers twice but I want to confirm it as your answers are very helpful
    I want your suggession again for my privt message

    Quote Originally Posted by Qaz007 View Post
    I am desperated because its my childhood plannning to study in this perticular chain school> engineering>MBA
    Sir I am from india and its not possible to leave my famly business if I will establish it with my dad. They never allow me to do anything els if I once join them
    And yes here it is same as US. I am planning for MBA but after engineering. I'm not going to drop Engineering
    I have read all of your answers twice but I want to confirm it as your answers are very helpful
    I want your suggession again for my privt message

    And I would like to thank you for bearing me so long..

    Quote Originally Posted by Qaz007 View Post
    I am desperated because its my childhood plannning to study in this perticular chain school> engineering>MBA
    Sir I am from india and its not possible to leave my famly business if I will establish it with my dad. They never allow me to do anything els if I once join them
    And yes here it is same as US. I am planning for MBA but after engineering. I'm not going to drop Engineering
    I have read all of your answers twice but I want to confirm it as your answers are very helpful
    I want your suggession again for my privt message

    And I would like to thank you for bearing me so long..
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 3,995, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert
     
    #20

    Sep 30, 2014, 06:27 AM
    I'm not inclined to believe that there is no tutoring on campus. Universities would have poor reputations if students didn't graduate for the simple reason of not understanding the material and needing a tutor. Go to the academic advisement office.

Not your question? Ask your question View similar questions

 

Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search


Check out some similar questions!

How to manage my team [ 3 Answers ]

How to manage my team

How can you manage to pick the right course for you? [ 3 Answers ]

I am a bit confused :confused: , at first I want to be in the military but then lately watching the news the military is not really good, am planning to be in the Air Force but I don't know I haven't made up my mind yet, or maybe a nurse but I don't really want it because it's the most common...

How can I manage this [ 1 Answers ]

I'm ganna straight forword.. I love my wife so much and I'm crazy about her although I had so many relationships before I met my wife but still she is so special as she is now.. and accourding to she keeps saying that she loves me too very mush.. but with a way I cannt see her love comparing with...

How would you manage? [ 9 Answers ]

I am dating a guy who loves women & is very flirtatious. We have been together for a few months & he says he will try to improve because he does really like me, but it will take time. I am a pretty jeolious person & am quite insecure so I don't react well when I see him touching & flirting with...


View more questions Search