Well, I have this guy friend, who I am seriously considering to de-friend (yeah…) Since we both have equally paying jobs he expects me to pay for everything. The first time I told him I didn´t have money and couldn´t go out he said “but we have this system, one day you pay an I pay the next, If you don´t have money, I´ll pay”. I thought it was fine, though we had always paid our share.
So, you can imagine, it´s been months since we have gone out and it has never been his turn to pay, one day I told him so, that I was really out of cash and that I only had money for my movie ticket (again) and he basically guilted me out to pay saying I cared a lot about money, that he thought our friendship wasn´t like that. He practically called me a scrooge. Only that time did he pay for anything in months and he only paid for the ticket, nothing more, and when I pay he orders popcorn, soda and all the food in the court even when he said he just ate like a pig and is about to burst. He says he doesn´t have money for parking or even a piece of bubblegum! I literally pay for everything!
He always says he doesn´t have money, that he forgot his wallet, his credit card. I feel used, and I definitely don´t need this; I thought we were really good friends, but this is starting to piss me off. I don´t need to buy a guy´s affection, let alone a friend´s affection, if I wanted that, I would pay for a gigolo and would be more satisfied because at least I wouldn´t be lied to.
I am sad to see this years-long relationship go, but I feel like he only wants to go out with me so I can pay. He always says “where are YOU taking ME this weekend?” and makes jokes with the clerks persons about how I ( a woman) pay for all his bills. I don´know if it is just in jest, because he can have a really bad sense of humor and cheap sarcasm, nor I am a feminist but I hate that, I hate being portrayed like that in front of other people, even if I don´t know them.
He is very prissy, always takes things in offense, but with me it was different, at least most of the time, I could tell him the truth about what I liked or didn´t like and he would take it in stride, the same goes the other way around.
But now, he is more “sensitive” around me, and I didn´t want to raise a fight with my dear friend over something so petty as money and risk losing him, but really, if this goes on, how much does he aprecciates me? He knows I don´t make the big bucks, I only make the necessary, sometimes I am striving, sometimes I can save a little, but I definitely don´t have any money to spare, and he does this? I am not a cheap person, when the B-day of someone I love is close or Christmas is around the corner I loke to save money so I can buy something nice and thoughtful for my lovd ones, but I need time to sort my finances. I don´t want to end all swamped up in debt. I am always there to support my loved ones, no matter what, if I am able I always find a way to be there for them. So maybe I am not overly physical but I do demonstrate I care.
When he is courting someone he pays for ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING and he doesn´t complain. Heck! even when he knows the girl has a boyfriend and is never going to be with him like that, they never “put out” as they say, I know this for certain. I know we are not dating, I know it is different, and I don´t want it to be otherwise (I am not attracted to him, never have been, if you were wondering) but he knows me; he knows that I like to be courted, yes, at the beginning of a romantic relationship but that if we become formal I feel bad letting the guy pay for everything, I feel like I am being abusive, that I am taking advantage and I am not a cheeky person. With a friend is no different, I like things to be an understanding, a team-work.
So, why is he like that? I don´t say he has to pay for everything, I just want him to pay his share. I feel like he wants to be able to splurge at my expense and that just sucks. I didn´t want to say anything because I thought he had a reason for this -my friend is kind of weird, I have never been a very touchy-feely kind of person, I tell things sincerely, I sometimes hug and I laugh a lot, but I am not very physical, and he has begrudged me that, but he knows I am only that way with my dog, he has always known- so I think maybe it is his way to put things on equal ground in his mind, but the thing is I am starting to tire about his twisted ways, ever since he came back from his masters he is like a fifteen year old all over again, moody, broody, juvenile, clubbing, drinking, saying stupid crapm thinking he is always right and doing this to his 8 year long friendship.
I don´t know if I am overreacting or if I am really coming across as petty, but really, things were not like this. What should I do? I am talking to him, even with the risk of him being mad at me, him telling me I am mean and that I hurt his feellings by being this cold-hearted, money sparing , but I seriously feel used, like he only wants to go out with me so I can pay.
Every time we talk he pretends I didn´t say anything, that all is cool, he says I always overreact, that I need a boyfriend and am bitter. But I am not, I may not be into clubbing anymore, or I may be too responsible about my job and other things, but I know I am not bitter, my other friends and I have never have a problem even remotely similar, yeah, we sometimes disagree, but we are friends and respect each other. I don´t feel this with him anymore.
It seriously will hurt me if we don´t fix things, we come a long way and we have had a lot of precious experiences together, he is one of the friends I felt I could tell everything to. I really need someone elses´s opinion on this.

What a jerk. He's manipulating you. Banish him from your life.

Why does it do this? Because he knows he can with you.

Stop paying for him.