Check out some similar questions!

jmdaugherty · Jan 21, 2010, 12:53 AM

I have been with my husband for 3 years now and we have had our fair share of problems but recently I found a profile he had made on an adult sex site.. we are both young and the first time I found one of these we had been split up for a while so I overlooked it now as far as I knew we were happy! I don't know why he is doing this and I think he has no idea of how badly this is hurting me! I want to bring it up tonight when he gets home but I know he will just yell and freak because I was snooping.. im at the end of my rope and I don't know what to do.. has anyone else had this problem? Any good advice is more than welcome!

phoenix1664 · Jan 21, 2010, 02:06 AM

Hey there I have kind of had this problem but I am the guy lol. Well my girlfriend had found that I was on one once and as you can expect she freaked out but I sat her down and explained it was just curiosity all I wanted to do was have a look to see. I mean no matter how happy you are we do still like to look. I have been with my girlfriend for years and we are more thatn happy in love. But I still have the occasional look and she eyes up other guyes to it's a natural thing until he aranges a meeting I wouldn't worrie about it.

proteas · Jan 23, 2010, 01:56 AM

As you had said, the first time he did this was when you had briefly "separated". He was lonely then and looking for female companionship. Donno if he found any then but he's probably feeling lonely and left out again. Otherwise, unless he started an "affair" then he shouldn't have the need to return.

It will be hard to make him feel wanted when you are feeling hurt, but that's one alternative to confronting him and letting the situation escalate.

Jake2008 · Jan 23, 2010, 10:53 AM

Adult sex site could mean many things. Some of them are interractive, some of them are chats, some involve webcams, some allow people to meet up.

If we're talking about a site that has pornish pictures of women, and he's innocently looking, that's one thing.

But, if he's a member of a site that allows him to do other things, then to me at least, that would be a problem.

I would think that if all he wanted was to look at women, and nothing more, why not subscribe to playboy.

As to speaking to him about it, don't jump on him when he comes in. Instead, ask him to set aside some time on such and such a date, because you really need to talk to him about this. Then don't mention it again until you quietly sit down and ask your questions.

Try not to make it out to be more than it is, until you know otherwise.

I presume that from what you wrote, that he started on the adult sex site while you were separated, but is still active now on it?