[dazed1180]

I have been with my girlfriend for 7 years.

7 weeks ago she went out with her best friend who in turn called me afterwards and said how much my g/f had spoken about me and how much my girlfriend had said that she loved me and that she was talking to her friend about how she wanted to marry me!!

5 weeks ago my g/f said she wanted to take a break for a while stating that she didn't feel that burning desire to be with me that she once did and she has made no attempt to get in contact since then.

Last weekend we met at a mutual friends engagement party where she told me I was the most important person in her life and that she loved me more than anything, she was also pretty much all over me but when I dropped her home... "I still think we need time apart.." because she felt happy that she didn't have to plan things around me... and again I hear nothing.

I e-mailed her saying if she would like to meet, she gave me excuses and I could see the wood for the trees so I cancelled before she disappointed me...

I then called her last week and she pretty much went on for an hour about how amazing her life was without me... going on about how she is out every night with different friends to different places etc etc and that she would probably not be able to see me till the new year, which secretly annoyed me as it is her birthday on the 19th of December...

Anyway I'm going on... the underlying thing is that for 7 years I never cheated on he. I am not at all possessive i.e. I never EVER said you can't go here or there... and when we were together it was amazing! But towards the end it was just so hard to get her to come and see me... I had a feeling like she didn't love me anymore...

I just don't understand what I did wrong!!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

[LifeChangesMan]

Hey man,

All right, my suggestion to you is 7 years is a long time, so don't think she doesn't love you because I'm sure that's not that case, sounds like she might be going some phase of wow, this is what it's like without having to answer to someone everyday and, she might enjoy it... for now. I mean human nature I feel like everyone needs to be with someone and needs someone there, so I feel like when she gets over this phase, she will be in contact with you again.

However, I suggest cutting off contact from her, and finding out what's she's been doing for your own sanity this way you don't get any false hope, or bad news, because you don't want her stringing you along either, if she thinks your gone for good after not talking to her for a bit, she will be in contact with you.

Hope This Helps,
Take Care,
LCM

[southerngalps]

You probably did nothing wrong. People just change and fall out of love.

That is why marriage is so scary to me. How can you devote yourself to someone and then have them fall out of love with you?

It is scary to give yourself to someone.
You should just let her breathe and do her thing. If she really loves you and wants to be with you she'll come around.

Don't wait on her forever. She may not want to come around.

Grass is always greener on the other side.
That feeling when you first meet someone never lasts.

People should't move on just because they are feeling that way. They should realize that those feelings will subside with anyone that they are with.

[talaniman]

Something has changed all of a sudden, and whatever it is, your not a part of it. Protect yourself by leaving her alone.

Got any ideas what's going on? Someone else maybe? Maybe she was just tired of being a girlfriend for 7 years, who knows?

Either way since she is so busy with other things, leave her completely alone and focus on overcoming this shocking development.

Let the emotional dust settle, so you can at least see some reality, and maybe some more facts will come to light.

[dazed1180]

I don't know...

It seems the majority of my friends say to just leave her alone and she will come back... but one very close friend says just giv her her a call now and then and be available but to be honest that doesn't help me, it just makes it all the more difficult!

To be honest I have been fine the last few day but then I went onto Facebook... nightmare!. I now pretty much know everything she has been doing and will be doing! I mean with NO purposeful investigation I know that next week she has two days off from work and she will be out Wednesday and Thursday... and that all appeared on MY home page!! Needless to say I deleted my account straight away.

What makes NO sense to me is how can she look forward to seeing everyone else and yet purposefully avoid me? I have always been there for her and took her through some very difficult periods of her life whilst of course she did the same for me.

We both got our degrees together and when she was going for her dream job I was there for her every step of the way and helped her through every stage till she finally got the job... I had a massive interview only a week ago and she didn't even ask how it went... it's obviously very raw for me at the moment so everything she does or doesn't do has a huge impact on me!

It is more complicated than I first mentioned as we are both Hindu but of different casts and her parents are pretty old school meaning they may kick up a fuss... but to be honest I have always got on really well with her parents.

If I had to be brutally honest with myself having taken a step out of the relationship I feel it was by no means perfect for me. I had to come second or even third A lot of the times to her friends and family but at the time it suited us both as we were both very busy. But now that we are both settled in jobs with no real worries it felt like I was still coming last when ever she made plans and I guess I wanted a bit more commitment!

I even bought a house for us close to her parents place... that's the hardest thing I guess, not only does it feel like I have to get over my past but also my future too...

[dazed1180]

p.s. talaniman

Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you an option in theirs.

That's pretty much what I feel is going on at the moment!! Which is why I want to giverher as much space as I can...

p.p.s. What do you guys think I should do on her birthday... send her just a card and some flowers or do something that I would normally do... I did ask her but the gist of her response was something like "I have so many friends it's going to be difficult for us to do something"

[hjpan]

Go in the military.

Best way to keep off limits.

And a lot of girls like men in uniforms xD

[talaniman]

Right or wrong, Move on. Let her celebrate her birthday without you. Things have changed, and you're the focus, not her.