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ASPARROW · Feb 19, 2007, 12:26 AM

Im a mother of a 15 year old teenager girl. We are both from Michigan. I would like to know if I have the right as a parent to make her have an abortion whether she wants it or not?

JoeCanada76 · Feb 19, 2007, 01:06 AM

Here is a link to something I found.

Abortion - Can a parent force a minor to have an abortion?

As a parent you have no right to force your daughter to have an abortion. This is the choice of your teenager girl and you need to let her make up her own choice.

If she choses there is also the option of adoption if your not willing to help her or she is un capable of taking care of a baby.

Also you need to remember, or need to know that anybody that has an abortion, has a risk of never being able to get pregnant in the future or has an increased risk of having repeat miscarriages.

Do you want this for your daughters future?

Plus if you continue to force this issue with your daughter your at a risk of losing her for good. Just letting you know being forced to have an abortion will scar her for life.

Joe

buggage · Feb 19, 2007, 07:36 AM

I totally agree with Joe. Forcing your daughter into an abortion will only cause her to resent you for the rest of her life, and also herself. It will scar her deeply, even though it wouldn't have been her decision. It may also lead to her purposely trying to get pregnant later, to try and replace her loss. Would you force an abortion on her each time?She trusted you enough to come to you with this this time... chances are, she won't tell you that she is pregnant next time until it is too obvious for her to hide. Instead of placing something so traumatic on your daughters shoulders at such a young age, you should encourage her to place the baby for adoption. Then something good will come of it. Then you need to get her on birthcontrol. Obviously, whether you want her to or not, (as she has already proven) she will be having sex. At least you can help her try to prevent another pregnancy, and teach her to take responsibility for her actions, instead of teaching her that she can run away from her actions. Besides, what happens if down the road she is successfully and happily married, you want grandchildren, and she can't have any because of you forcing her to have an abortion? Even more sadness inflicted on her. I know that as a mom, you hate to see your child at sucha young age, in such a predicament. You want there to be something that you can do, to make it right. You want to fix the problem, before it gets even more out of hand. Its too late for that now.This baby is your grandchild now. If they are so inclined, kids will do what ever they want. All we can do is teach them right and wrong, and help them on their path. And when things go wrong, as they inevitably do, all we can do it try to help them pick up the pieces, and hope to help them learn from it.

lil_pea07 · Feb 19, 2007, 01:23 PM

Forcing someone to give up a child is cruel. Yes, she is young, but that's your grandson! And her child!! It's soooo not your right to decide whether she keeps it or not.

redneckchick · Feb 20, 2007, 12:31 PM

My best friends mom made her get abortion. Before my best friend got pregnant her and her mom were very close like best friends and then my friend got pregnant and her mom made her get abotion and that was that with her mom. Their relationship went to the dogs. My best friends still has nightmare it been 3 years now...

heather83 · Feb 28, 2007, 12:55 PM

Regardless of whether you want her to have an abortion-i don't think that decision should be up to you. Albeit, she is young and it would be extremely hard for her, but she needs to make that decision on her own. You should sit down and talk to her about how she feels. Try to be unbiased and present both sides of it to her. There's also the option of putting the baby up for adoption. I just cannot see how you as a mother would want to inflict that kind of pain on her. I can see that you may have her best interests at heart, but think about how she may look back and feel about it in the future. You don't want her to resent you for forcing her to give up something she never even got a chance to have.

Squiffy · Feb 28, 2007, 01:01 PM

I am pretty sure, from a legal point of view, you cannot force her to have an abortion.

grammadidi · Feb 28, 2007, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by ASPARROW

Im a mother of a 15 year old teenager girl. We are both from Michigan. I would like to know if I have the right as a parent to make her have an abortion wether she wants it or not?

As far as I am aware, in North America you cannot force your child to get an abortion. You can call a family lawyer for a free 30 minute consult in Michigan though. You could also speak to your family doctor.

On a personal note, I was a pregnant teen 36 years ago. My relationship with my parents (especially with my mother) was almost destroyed by their taking me to an abortion doctor for a consultation. I ran away from home. The ripples from that decision continue to affect myself, my parents, my children and my grandchildren. As a parent I am sure you have very strong reasons for asking that question and I don't judge you for it. Just be open to other options. I think that the bottom line will be that it is her body, and although we are responsible for their actions until they are 18, we can't rule their bodies.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to contact me. I'm sure you must be feeling very sad.

Hugs, Christine

Beautifulblonde7 · Mar 1, 2007, 12:58 PM

I am a mother of 2 and I am 17 years old. I would not have wanted to have an abortion. After getting use to the motherly responsabilites I don't know what I would do with out them. I think that if she wants to have an abortion there are other options. Adoption is a great alternative. If you do not approve of her keeping the child then adoption is a great answer. I don't think that killing a child is worth it. If you have any questions or think you daughter needs some one to talk to here is myemail address.
[email protected]

ghost56 · Mar 5, 2007, 11:52 AM

It is certainly not up to anyone except the mother, as to abort the baby or not. It can have lasting affects on a girl/woman for the rest of her life. What if this is the only baby she will ever have, (did you think of that), it does happen. I agree with beautifulblonde7, I was also 17 when I got pregnant and am now the proud great grandmother of 2 beautiful babies at 56 years old, I would not change my life for anything. Yes it is hard, but I would never have forgiven anyone who had even tried to make me abort my baby.

collinsmom · Mar 5, 2007, 03:05 PM

I would recommend talking to a counselor. The adoption agency we used in the adoption of our son offers free counseling to birthmothers and families. There is absolutely NO obligation to put her baby up for adoption, but give both of you the information on different types of adoption (open, closed) or just support if she decides to parent. Because she is only 15, she may not realize that she may still have an opportunity to have a relationship with her child through open adoption. We see our son's birthmother and family twice a year. It's a wonderful situation and an additional family and support we have come to love dearly.

RosieLovesRob · Mar 5, 2007, 05:39 PM

Yess I agree.. I am a 15 year old girl that may be faced with pregnancy too.. im going to find out on Thursday... but if I am I want too keep my child and raise it just as well as a 30 year old woman would.. I am young I know.. but that doesn't mean that I am not old enough too bring a child into the world.. I personally believe that its not about how old you are its about how mature you are.. if she wants the baby.. then support her and stand by her.. I know that I would hate for my mother too turn her back on me and just tell me to abort it.. thats a child.. no matter how may weeks/months she is gone.. that will grow intoo a beautiful child.. dont choose you life or your daughters life over your grandchilds.. as far as I'm concerned.. teen pregnancy's may wel be mistakes.. but their wonderful mistakes!.
Xxxx

don8 · Mar 6, 2007, 02:33 PM

I was a teen mom and I was so scared to tell my parents because I was afraid they would turn away from me or try to do exactly what you are doing. Your daughter trusts you apparently enough to not have these doubts about you. I mean she told you she didn't think about hiding the fact or trying to keep it from you, don't break her trust now. Find out what her feeling are about all of this. Let her make this decision because she showed great judgement by coming to you in the first place, let her use her own judgment on what she does with her baby.

nooniebubba · Mar 22, 2007, 05:14 AM

Asparrow, I agree with the others that if you make your daughter have an abortion then she and you will never be the same in regards to your mother daughter relationship. I think perhaps you may wish to talk to her in regards to her life at 15, what is ahead of her etc. and perhaps she may think that having the baby and then perhaps placing it up for adoption is a better solution. I am a 40 year old single mother of two kids which I basically have raised by myself. I am also a very successful business owner that can provide and I am trying to adopt a child now. I too was in your daughter's shoes meaning my husband left when I was 2 weeks pregnant and 4 days into my marriage because he could not handle it. Well I had the choice of dealing with it as a woman pregnant and alone or running away and I would never run away and my Olivia will always know the truth but the one thing that my parents ask of me as a 33 year old was to please not have an abortion and I would never. Your 15 year old has a lot more of her life to live so maybe talking to her as an adult and what choices she has ahead may be a better choice. If she then chooses to have the baby or go away and have the baby and then place in adoption then perhaps she may feel better about herself. Take care, Amanda

NowWhat · Mar 22, 2007, 06:19 AM

To force someone to have an abortion would do so much damage. But, I understand why you would ask this question.
At 15, you can't get a job. Therefore, you can not support your child. So, who does the responsibility fall to? The grandparents. I am sure that no one would let a baby go without food and shelter. As parents, we want so much for our children. And we KNOW what it means to become a parent. And when you are dealing with a 15 year old, who is still in school, may want to go to college and do all of the things a kid would want to do - it is hard to see how this can all be accomplished with a baby in tow. So again, a lot of responsibility hits the grandparents in a situation like this.
The only thing you can do, is get your daughter educated on what her options are. Do some soul searching on what you are willing to do if she decides she wants to keep this baby and let her know where you stand. That way, the lines of communication are open and a more educated decision can be made. If she is forced into anything - abortion or adoption - then she could end up hating you or going down a very destructive path.

Where is the baby's dad in all of this? Is he a teenager to? Have you sat down with his parents? Like the old saying goes - "it takes two to tango" - He is just as responsible as she is in all of this.

Good Luck to you.

Lucyenyc · Mar 22, 2007, 06:33 AM

Originally Posted by ASPARROW

Im a mother of a 15 year old teenager girl. We are both from Michigan. I would like to know if I have the right as a parent to make her have an abortion wether she wants it or not?

I'm not 100% sure but I really don't think you can force her into having an abortion if she doesn't want one. I know that over here in the uk you can't force anyone to have an abortion against their wishes.

mescha · Mar 22, 2007, 07:07 PM

I can't believe that someone would even consider forcing their child to have an abortion. Not only can it have physical problems, it can also leave mental and emotional things behind. I think you have no right to do that to your daughter. She may be young but having sex in the first place was her choice so if she was grown up to make that decision, than she is grown up to make this decision.

zelda · Mar 31, 2007, 03:53 PM

Originally Posted by ASPARROW

Im a mother of a 15 year old teenager girl. We are both from Michigan. I would like to know if I have the right as a parent to make her have an abortion wether she wants it or not?

I don't think mothers have that right anymore.. I think its only up to the pregnant mother and would you really have her abort your grandchild .I know she is young but you will just have to leave the abortion up to her and teach her responsibility. But I also think she shouldn't be having sex at 15

shorty_got_skills · May 1, 2007, 07:17 AM

I was 14 when I was first pregnant and I had a miscarriage and it was the worst most emotional moment of my life. But you should talk to your daughter first about EVERYTHING that comes with being a mom tell her the truth, maybe she will get scared and relize its not for her yet. But don't force her, you may loose her, cause I know if my mom tried to force to take life from something I created I would be very angry and things wouldn't be the same. She is growing up she needs to make choices on her own, your not going to be there all the time. GOOD LUCK! ( let us know what you decide! )

JoJo1986 · May 1, 2007, 11:31 AM

You are totally wrong if you do that to her. Losing an unborn child is very emotionally hard on a girl/woman. I know because I was 19 when I got pregnant for the first time and I was scared but excited. I lost it at 7 weeks. It was horrible. Emotionally and phisically painful! She will have to live with that for the rest of her life and I promise you she will think about it every day. She needs to be the one to make the choice. If not you are only hurting her more.