[so_very_confused]

I'm 20 years old and I'm in love with a guy I've know for years. Both of us are in long term relationships with other people. I met him about 3 years ago. It started as a friendship, but I've always had feelings for him and he for me. He and his girlfriend split 8 or 9 months ago and things started to get more serious between us. I called it off with my boyfriend because I wanted to be with him but no more than a week later his ex called and said she was pregnant. He already has one child and a broken family so he did what he thought was right and went back to her. I got back together with my boyfriend, but I didn't stop seeing him. The first time we had sex we both knew that he had a pregnant girlfriend and he told me he didn't love her and was just there for the baby. Things progressed with us from there and we have been seeing each other on the side ever since. About a month ago I found out that I was pregnant and I'm pretty sure he's the dad. We talked about things and decided that an abortion is best for both of us right now. We've seen each other everyday and we have sex a couple times a week but now he's feeling guilty. I understand because I feel guilty too. He says he has fun with me and still wants to see me but we can't be intimate anymore. I love him and he loves me but we both know its not right. He was supposed to go to my appointment with me to have the abortion next week but his girlfriend is having medical problems and labor is being induced that same day. Now I'm stuck going by myself while his baby is being born with her.. ironic. Its really hurting me and I know what we did was wrong but I love him so much. We still talk everyday. He says I should be there for him as a friend, but I know we both still have feelings and it won't be that easy for either of us. What should I do? Should I say goodbye? Hope things work out? Or just try to be his friend?

[Dqueen]

Well girl... the fact that he went back to her just shows that he completely loves her...
if i was you i would say good bye for good... i'm really against abortions but in your case it would be the best thing to do... If he loved you he would of been with you despite the circumstances... i'm sorry to say but i see it as he is using you...and i think you deserve far better then that... you deserve only but the best... and no side line with him say Goodbye and never look back...the sooner the better...

[fix-what-you-broke]

Staying for the baby, I've never heard that one before... its just a line they give to keep you sweet, don't fall for it.
Leave him alone, he has a family, and I'm sure you don't want to be the one to break up a family right?
I know you love him and that's not your fault, but think about it, think about your life in a few more years if you stick around this guy... you will be even more in love with him, he is going to be feeding you bigger lies of why he can't leave his girlfriend for you, the kid is going to get older and know why his dad isn't around.
Wouldn't it be better for everybody if you found someone single and free to give their all to you instead of waiting in line for him to finish with his girlfriend?

[NowWhat]

Do you want to terminate this pregnancy or is this what HE wants you to do? Are 100% comfortable with the decision?
I can see why he wants you to do it. If there is a baby in the mix then his secret is out. And he loses everything. I get the impression that he wants you to terminate this pregnancy for pure selfish reasons.

Now, as far as being with him - I would leave him alone. He wants his cake and eat it too. You are a piece on the side - I know that sounds harsh - but it is true. Find someone who can and is willing to put you FIRST. No one deserves to play second.
You are worth more than that.

[Thought we knew]

You will see the child you killed in heaven. What will you answer as to why you did it?

And if he REALLY felt the deep love for you that you feel towards him, he would be with you no matter what the circumstances!! Don´t let him fool you. There is no feeling greater than love... it will make you do things. So if he felt it, he´d be with you.

[talaniman]

You fell for the oldest line in the book, I love you but I can't leave because of the baby. Next year it will be I don't love her but I can't leave because of the children.

I found out that I was pregnant and I'm pretty sure he's the dad.

That's right you still have a boyfriend, but never considered to consult with him. HMMMM! Well at least you know why you will be alone. Get rid of him, plain and simple. He is right you can't be intimate anymore. In other words he is dumping you for now, but he will be back for more sex after he tends to his other business.

[superstarr]

Just for support I don't think you're a bad person and fully understand what you are doing. And for everyone my dad has given up everything for me so although its unlikely he could be there for the kid. But you should move on with your life if I was you I would leave both. Because you don't care enough about your boyfriend and the side line guy doesn't need you, or fully want you. So leave both then go places and meet someone totally new.good luck