Check out some similar questions!

otterpop · May 4, 2007, 09:38 PM

Recently my boyfriend of over a year and I went through a brief separation. During this time he went out with a couple of other women but I didn't go out with anyone. A couple weeks ago he lied to me about being out with another woman and then admitted he stayed with her that night, but told me he was just too drunk to drive and stayed on her couch. He had promised me he wouldn't lie to me or sleep with anyone else. Well, he admitted lying to me. I told him we were totally over and he went overboard winning me back - started seeing me almost every day, calling me throughout the days, etc. The last few days he has been out of town and he asked me to stop by his place tonight to get his mail in and told me I should stay here, just like I've always done. So I went to get one of his t-shirts to sleep in and there in his armoire with the t-shirts is a box of condoms. A box of condoms that has never been there before - we never even used them (he had a vasectomy) because we were long-term, etc. So not only is there a box of condoms, but it's open, and some are missing out of it.

I'm assuming this means he lied to me about everything, and that he slept with one or ? Who knows how many, really ? More of the women he went on dates with for the time we were broken up. Of course I had no claim to him since we were broken up, except that he PROMISED me he wouldn't, and hadn't been intimate with someone else.

I'm not even that upset at the moment. I guess I already knew it and just wasn't admitting it to myself... so ? What shall I do ? Am I being unreasonable or paranoid ? To me it seems obvious, but I want objective takes on my interpretation of them being there... I just really don't need to be with a man who lies about everything. And the thought of him sleeping with other people and then coming back to me pretty much disgusts me. So ? Opinions would be appreciated before I react...

cuteboy1 · May 4, 2007, 09:51 PM

Give me a jingle so we can make him jealous and figure out what he is losing

otterpop · May 4, 2007, 09:55 PM

Ha ! If he has done what seems obvious, I won't even care enough to worry about making him jealous. But I will be ready to move on and start dating, just as you suggest :)

talaniman · May 5, 2007, 05:49 AM

Talk to him before you react.

sypher373 · May 5, 2007, 08:30 AM

If he had a vasectomy why would he be using condoms with anyone??

otterpop · May 5, 2007, 08:41 AM

Because he is sleeping with someone new whom he is not sure about - safe sex

otterpop · May 5, 2007, 08:46 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Talk to him before you react.

I just did. He also lied about being with someone else last Saturday night - he said he was playing poker with the guys. Instead he took someone else out. He claims the box has been there for a long time, but it hasn't.

He's just a liar, all the way around. :(

kellkell · May 5, 2007, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by otterpop

Of course I had no claim to him since we were broken up, except that he PROMISED me he wouldn't, and hadn't been intimate with someone else.

Regardless of whether he "promised" that he would not be intimate with someone else, if you were broken up then all bets are off.

However, once the two of you made the decision to get back together I think that he should have been honest about whether he had been intimate with someone else. This would be respectful by giving you the choice as to whether you want to continue a sexual relationship with him by having all the facts; and even though he had purchased a box of condoms and may have used some of them that doesn't mean that they were used all the time.

If he is lying at the restart of you relationship then in essence, you would be building a relationship on his lies.

sypher373 · May 5, 2007, 03:03 PM

Originally Posted by otterpop

I just did. He also lied about being with someone else last Saturday night - he said he was playing poker with the guys. Instead he took someone else out. He claims the box has been there for a long time, but it hasn't.

He's just a liar, all the way around. :(

Maybe its best to walk away from him altogether. You admit that he is a liar, and it doesn't seem that you hold much hope for him changing... Maybe a little space for yourself will let you sort through it all and decide what's best?