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niniback · Apr 22, 2007, 04:54 PM

Hi all,

I was wondering if we can tell stories about our experiences with giving your partner a 'second chance'.

What made you decide to give it a second chance.
How it went.
Did it work out the second time around.

And finally...
Would you do it again?

Jiser · Apr 23, 2007, 04:28 AM

Gave her two chances. ;] No it didn't work out and yes I would give her another chance. However I would take it so slow as Ive learn t from everything I did wrong. I think I would like to be friends with her for a while if she would be willing. But hey were see, quite happy as I am although miss my ex a lot.

LoveShack.org: Interpersonal Relationship Advice and Assistance Center - Love and dating advice, platonic relationships, and more. has a second chances dedicated forum - u may want to check it out.

My cousin split up with his girlfriend at 18/19 went there separate ways due to boredom in the relationship etc. Few years later they got back together and have been together ever since 10 years now. My auntie and uncle were child hood sweethearts, they married 30 years later after being both married before. Anything can happen, just work on yourself, don't try to analyze things so much and enjoy life - be that fun bubbly person you know you are!!

Tuscany · Apr 23, 2007, 04:57 AM

I gave my old boyfriend a second chance, no it did not work . BUT because I gave him a second chance I spent more time with my now husband. So, yes I guess it did work out :)

talaniman · Apr 23, 2007, 05:25 AM

Never had a second chance. I always moved on until I got married. Why go back?

talaniman · Apr 23, 2007, 06:56 AM

Jiser agrees: lol, try, try again until you succeed.

My wife won't let me.

ForeverZero · Apr 23, 2007, 07:40 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Jiser agrees: lol, try, try again untill you suceed.

My wife won't let me.

Secretly, tal is just a big girl!

talaniman · Apr 23, 2007, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by ForeverZero

Secretly, tal is just a big girl!

The hairy chest gave it away?

SAB123 · Apr 24, 2007, 11:59 AM

Gave her 5 chances and no it didn't work.(Thank God)

angelbabe1759 · Apr 24, 2007, 01:19 PM

Originally Posted by niniback

Hi all,

I was wondering if we can tell stories about our experiences with giving your partner a 'second chance'.

What made you decide to give it a second chance.
How it went.
Did it work out the second time around.

And finally...
Would you do it again?

I think everyone deserves a second chance, me and my ex dated for a while and he did something horrible, he cheated on me but he was drunk and said if I take him back he will quit drinking and will never do anything to impar his judgement or our love again so yes, I took him back, I know it says ex, well about a month later he died so... please give chances maybe even 3rd and 4th

startover22 · Apr 24, 2007, 01:22 PM

I was given a second change, 11 years later we are still together and have a pretty good life together with our four kids. If it weren't for my husbands big heart and morals, who knows who I would be today. I love him for my second chance. I guess it all boils down to changing your "path". I didn't get it until I was all the way down under the water and he brought me back to the top to breath. If you feel like it is worth it, then do it. Give someone a chance. Or two.

sypher373 · Apr 24, 2007, 02:07 PM

Originally Posted by Jiser

Gave her two chances. ;] No it didn't work out and yes I would give her another chance.

Jiser,

You gave her multiple chances and it didn't work, but you would do it again?

What do you think caused it not to work with the second and third chance? Was it that you resumed the relationship without examing what caused it to fail to begin with?

Just curious, if you don't mind me asking :)

Jiser · Apr 25, 2007, 03:05 AM

In all honesty I realize my mistakes. I gave her 100% practically all the time, I smothered her, textx + calls I gave her everything. I thought that's what a women/girl would want, candles, dinners, holidays and stuff. Its not! I must of become a highly annoying, unattractive individual. Pressures of growing up, exams, school, all too much for her + me a 21 year old guy wanting it all. Life isint like that though. We had different inretests and she wasn't prepared to try them either - I am a very active person!

I am not saying however that my ex did things wrong - she did, she cheated on me with an ex - personally I believe she never got over him, hence why she has got a summer job where he works.

Each time we did break up we took it to fast again and she wanted me back within a week or two. I am hoping to build a friendship up with her over the next few months, maybe meet up at some point. We've been speaking a lot on IM recently but I am quite 'ok!' at the moment. I have some good friends, a lot of hobbies and a lot planned for this summer holidays.

Capuchin · Apr 25, 2007, 03:09 AM

Second chances are okay, mistakes are how we learn and how we grow. I believe that giving someone a second chance when they've learned from the mistake is a good thing to do. But making the same mistake more than once? Then I would start to get suspicious. I wouldn't want to be with someone who didn't want to learn or grow.

sypher373 · Apr 25, 2007, 06:56 AM

Here's a question then,
How do you deal with someone who seems like they want a second chance some of the time?? It seems that when she's with me, when I'm home from school, she does - when I'm away, she's quite different. She claims she's busy with school and hanging out with friends...

Maybe I should just chalk it up to confusion

Jiser · Apr 25, 2007, 07:02 AM

Why are you with her then sypher? If its causing so much confusion. It there is any chance of a 'reconciliation' it will be in the future. This is why it is so important to give space to each other, to work on your life, what you want, your career, your friends, family and having fun.

Space gives you time to realize where you went wrong, to learn! In that time apart if you move on and don't want to keep a 'friendship' (used in a loose term) then that's all good and fine. However it takes two for a friendship and two for a relationship, if one party doesn't want in, then its not going to happen and is key, if you don't have allot in common it may be hard to be friends.

talaniman · Apr 25, 2007, 07:39 AM

How do you deal with someone who seems like they want a second chance some of the time??

You deal with them by leaving them to there own confusion, and moving ahead with your life. Who has time for that nonsense drama??

Jiser · Apr 25, 2007, 07:48 AM

Too right tali, shouldn't really bother with drama!! Unhealthy, its hard to let go, but it must be done!

SAB123 · Apr 25, 2007, 08:01 AM

Originally Posted by Jiser

Too right tali, shouldn't really bother with drama!!! Unhealthy, its hard to let go, but it must be done!

I realize me ex was full of drama and yes its hard to let go, but once you let go that person it get easier day by day. I miss her sometimes now but, I'm happier with out her.
And the pain in my heart is going away it's more of a friend missing.

Jiser · Apr 25, 2007, 08:02 AM

Give it time sab :P

sypher373 · Apr 25, 2007, 10:12 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

You deal with them by leaving them to there own confusion, and moving ahead with your life. Who has time for that nonsense drama????

I agree, seems that trying to help someone with their confusion is quite impossible when your part of the reason for the confusion :o