[Stunning07]

Well I was just wondering from people... if anyone's partners said it would't work out and they came back.. after time..

[LBP]

Honestly, my friend, by the time they're ready to come back in all likelihood you won't want them back...

That doesn't mean you can't be friends, though!

[Capuchin]

Exactly. Why would you want them back? They left you for their own selfish means and desires. They chose someone else over you, or they just plain didn't want you. Why do you want someone who at one point decided that they didn't want you in your life again?

I certainly wouldn't.

[teeny94]

well i was just wondering from people... if anyones partners said it would't work out and they came back.. after time.....?

I think though it depends on how it happens, mostly if someone leaves you - they didn't like you enough in the first place. They'll probably leave you again if the right circumstances came about.

[Jiser]

My ex came back twice after a few weeks each time.

I know of my cousin who got back after 4 of NC years with his ex. 10 years later they are still together.

I don't know of any other success stories.

[talaniman]

The ones I know of broke up again.

[Geoffersonairplane]

I know that if my ex came back to me, I would find it difficult to forget what she did to me, how she handled everything and what she did after she left me, even though she would have been single at that time. I could forgive her but not really forget and that could result in conflict and perhaps me leaving her...

Maybe not, I have never been in that situation where the ex has come back and I don't think it happens very often. You certainly should let go of false hope because it is soul destroying.

[Jiser]

Just go with the flow but have some goals in mind : ]

Saw family the other day for the first time in a year or so. Was speaking to them about life in general and about partners. One of my cousins is a consultant in the NHS in London and her husband a consultant in finance and drugs for the NHS. They both said, those who they knew who had the most success were the ones who had goals in mind, things they wanted to achieve. They would work on them perhaps only 3% at a time but eventually they got there even with diversions. Those without goals never really reached their full potential.

They also said they would have traveled and had did have allot of regrets in life. So point being if you want to do something do it and forget the fear < that is not speaking to ex's!

Once you find yourself and the person you want to be then you can look for someone.

[Stunning07]

Yes I agreee with all... I guess this is just the beginning of my heart break so I have the strong feeling of her coming back... as time goes by... ill see what type of person she realli is... which I'm seeing right now... and see what I was blind about her... its hard.. but gets easier everyday w/ NC... sometimes I just feel that it was my fault and I made mistakes... I treated her good.. but I could have treated her better... that's one thing I've learned

[Geoffersonairplane]

yes i agreee with all... i guess this is just the begining of my heart break so i have the strong feeling of her coming back... as time goes by... ill see what type of person she realli is... which i'm seeing right now... and see what i was blind about her... its hard.. but gets easier everyday w/ NC... sometimes i just feel that it was my fault and i made mistakes... i treated her good.. but i could of treated her better... thats one thing i've learned

Sure you probably did make mistakes, I did with my ex, but so did she and so did your ex.. Its not all your fault so don't blame yourself.

Yes, you will live in hope for a while and yes you will in time, see things you were blinded to before the breakup.

I speak from experience after my 3 year relationship ended 7 months ago which really devastated me but I promise you it will get better in time!

Relationships are hard work at the best of times but please don't blame yourself, that will debilitate your healing process.

Unless you cheated or were abusive (which you were not) you have nothing to blame yourself for.

Also.. Mistakes are made so we can learn from them...

A negative can be turned into a positive.

[Stunning07]

Yes your right... love is a b@#$% I'm not falling for none of this crap for the next 25 years haha

[diya]

We all learn from mistakes and if at any given point in time if we feel we could have worked it out because both people involved had been good in general, then one must always try to work on relationships. It is hard to make but easy to break any connection and mostly it is the self ego that plays a negative role.. so I feel those who wish to get together and those who want to work it out... so definitely give it a second chance... forgetting the past and looking ahead... then perhaps positivity can come in the picture. I am a firm believer in working things out and most often than not, it has only given me happiness...

[Jiser]

Tell us more diya! :]

[Geoffersonairplane]

yes your right.... love is a b@#$% im not fallin for none of this crap for the next 25 years haha

Love can be beautiful and love can be cruel but never close your heart, just be careful who you open the door to.

[origins13]

After many months my ex left me and seeing someone else, I still have the hope that he'll come back one day. But as time goes by, I see more clearly that I'm just giving myself false hopes and perhaps am better without him now cause he broke my heart and I'm still not sure if I can forgive him.

Start the healing process now and don't lead yourself on to false hopes.

Being in love is beautiful! I'm now pushing myself to move on so that I can be in love again.

Treat yourself nice!

[Geoffersonairplane]

I gather you broke up with this woman roughly in January from what your first thread indicates and therefore are likely to be suffering the false hope stage which is common and this is what is going on here.

This is why you are asking this question, much the same as I was doing at that point albeit perhaps in an indirect way. It is still early days for you.. I am 7 months down my path of healing from a 3 year relationship that my ex broke off (cheese louise, has it been that long?LOL).

You need to give yourself plenty of time to grieve... and believe me, time is what it takes, time and positive thinking.

The only way this false hope is going to fade is if you follow some rules for your own benefit. What I wrote below helped me the most... I still had my downtimes and it was very hard and it will probably be for you too..

Here is some practical advice that should help you. You may have heard it before but really, hearing it a thousand times over is a good thing.


1.) Maintain NO CONTACT -- NO LETTERS, E-MAILS, PHONE CALLS, TEXTS, NOTHING!

2.) Keep yourself busy, go to the gym, take up an old hobby, spend time with friends and relatives, whatever.. Try to avoid alcohol where possible (it won't help)

3.)Try not to dwell on the past too much, focus on what you can do for yourself to improve you, as a person. Perhaps you have lost part of who you were before you met her. Try to establish what this was and get it back.

Is there a realistic chance of getting back together? Anything is possible but the only way it could ever happen is for you to MOVE ON and find a life without her.. Accept that she is gone! Chasing and telling her that things will change will not work. Believe me, I know it won't, others on here have done it and I have too! Does not work like this!

Like I have heard talaniman quote on AMHD, "Why base your life on false hope, waiting for a maybe?" and this is very true and a good reason to move on from this.

Whenever you need any advice or you are feeling down, come on here and talk, believe me these guys and gals offer great advice and they have helped me immensely and they will help you too!

[Arsenalroxmyworld]

well i was just wondering from people... if anyones partners said it would't work out and they came back.. after time.....?

Yh that has happened to me loads of times!